Hill Rat

Handsome Devil

2011-12-07T06:30:00.003-05:00

I woke up early this morning. My bedroom was mostly dark, but some light managed to sneak in from the street lamp between the panels of window coverings. There was just enough light to outline one side of the cherubic face of my little boy as I put my hand on this chest and felt his heart beating there fast, steady, and strong.

As I looked at him, ran my fingers lightly over his cheeks, and pressed my face against his I thought about the awesome responsibility of raising this boy. This child came into the world a blank slate. All that it is written on him, both good & bad, comes from my hand at this point.

I think I'm doing OK so far.

Here I Go Again

2011-02-05T16:09:00.003-05:00

I'm putting myself on the clock again. I just dropped SkateRat off at a birthday party at Pump It Up and shot over to Chick-Fil-A and now I'm settled in at the Starbuck's across the parking lot ready to write.

First of all, the folks at Pump it Up are screwing the pooch by not having a coffee shop/bar attached to their place. Why let me and the money I just spent walk out of their business? There are also three other parents from the same party here too, it seems like they're missing out on strong revenue stream.

Anyway, rugby is getting ready to start back up soon. I'm trying to learn from the mistakes I made last year as a rookie coach, but I'm also kind of dreading the physical effort and emotional investment that coaching and playing for my team requires.

Last season when I was pissed off and disappointed in the team and my own inability to motivate them, "The Sandwich" (one of my players) counseled me to not it take it so seriously. It was solid advice, but ultimately it fell on deaf ears because that's just not me. I have to give up too much to play rugby, ask my family for too much to support me to not be hurt & distraught (yes, distraught) when I felt like my team quit on me.

I believe that I have it in me to be an amazing coach, but I doubt that I will reach my full potential as a coach staying with my own club. That's a thought which leads me to uncomfortable place: when and how will I stop being an active member of my own club? My club has been such a big part of my life for so many years I can't really imagine my life without those fools.

There it is, another crash & burn ending. But I did squeeze out another post.

I

BabyRat No More

2011-01-27T15:55:00.008-05:00

I decided on something a few weeks ago that I'm going to share with you now.

Since I started this blog almost five years ago I've referred to my oldest child as "BabyRat." When I dubbed her BabyRat it was a fitting title/Nom d' Blog, but she's almost six years old now and, while still given to frequent crying, is not a baby in any way, shape, or form. My daughter has blossomed into a kind, thoughtful, loving, beautiful, strong, tough, fearless, funny, adventurous, whip smart little kid.

She's such an amazing kid, watching her start to develop her own preferences and style is really fun to watch. Of course there's a massive element of self-congratulations in all of this because I'm the one who has her singing Cat Power and Lauryn Hill.

Anyway, she got a skateboard for Christmas this year and immediately asked me to take her to the Konkrete Jungle [Writer's Note: Totally got sidetracked updating shit in FourSquare instead of writing, now watch this crash & burn ending] when we got back from spending Christmas in Houston. Immediately it hit me that her new appallation should be SkateRat.

What could be more perfect to capture this kid's steez and fit in with the weird schtick I've come up with for myself in this blog?

Later.

Type your summary hereType rest of the post here

So Much Fail

2011-01-27T15:26:00.002-05:00

Fuck, I'm not even coming close to posting once a week! It's just like school, I want to do it and do it well, but instead of just getting things done I procrastinate thinking to myself, "I still have time." The difference is that now instead of getting sidetracked by an opportunity to waste an afternoon/evening/night/semester bumping around maxin' & relaxin', smokin' & jokin', drinkin' & stinkin', my attempts to write are brought low by a whole different set of circumstances. Although these days I have quite a bit more to show for my missed deadlines than I did back then.

Rather than thinking I'm going to pop off with something epic, I'm just gonna put myself on the clock and force myself to write. One hour, one cup of coffee, one blog post.

I have to wonder if I just need the drama of a deadline to write because I did pretty good with my attempt to post everyday for a month. I guess it doesn't matter, I've identified another part of the problem (procrastination) and figured out a way to deal with it. So now what we're going to have here today is the contents of my mind late afternoon on a Thursday.

Why This Blog Sucks, Part 15

2011-01-14T13:48:00.006-05:00

Dude, I suck so bad at blogging now! I mean, I already ID'd the problem six months ago but I've largely been unable and unwilling to do anything about it.

When I say "this blog sucks" it's not that I think that I suck or my writing sucks, in fact I'm pretty cocky about my ability to communicate in writing. But compare what you see here to the kind of portal to writing, research, thoughts, and opinions that a good blog should be like Ta-Nehisi Coates' spot at the Atlantic or something more gonzo and irreverent like Stinque and it's hard to conclude anything other this blog sucks. The blogosphere demands content and I have failed that challenge miserably over the last year and a half or so.

More soon . . .

Resolved

2011-01-07T00:59:00.005-05:00

I was going to make a bunch of resolutions this year. Start exercising in the morning again, cut down on the booze, deal with unpleasant situations in a mature & direct way, all the usual bullshit we say we're going to do. But the one promise to myself that I must keep is to start writing again. One blog post per week MINIMUM.

I'm not going to give myself a minimum number of words to write because I know that I can force myself to type until I've reached whatever arbitrary limit I set and I'll end up kind of just . . . trailing off instead of finishing my thoughts.

I already know that my "go to" topic for a quick post will be recipes and food. Food is the new hotness these days and I'm 'bout it, 'bout it too. Everyone's talking about food; Mrs. Obama is up on food's tip, food in the schools, DC Healthy Schools Act. Food, it's everywhere you want to be.

Since WifeRat and I got together nine years ago I've been cooking more and better food. And for the last 6-9 months I would say that I've really been "feeling my flavor." Everything I do in the kitchen is just a little bit sharper, a little bit better & tastier these days. When I dice an onion now, the pieces are uniform. My temperature on meat & fish is getting close to perfect. I seem to be able to avoid typical home cook kitchen disasters either through careful preparation or simply having the confidence to try something to save the dish.

It's a nice feeling, having command of your kitchen. The freedom to start branching out into making new recipes and new types of food is almost like being able to fly. We started eating a lot of Indian food over the last 12-18 months and now I've started making it at home. I make a pretty good potato & cauliflower curry, but the thing that real makes the crowd go wild is my palak paneer. My newest challenge is to stop paying $10 for paneer cheese and start making it myself.

Food occupies a central place in our household, we have a beautiful open kitchen that's the heart of our home. In consultation with the rest of the family, usually I'll plan a week's worth of meals and then take the kids with me to the grocery store to do the shopping. I'm happy to trade off whatever drama & stress (minimal IMHO) taking two kids to the grocery store entails to ensure that I always have food I want (in the quantities I require) to eat in the house.

Since I like to cook in a clean kitchen, I also serve as the de facto scullery maid in our home. I feel like Sisyphus with the constant loading and unloading of the dishwasher. Most days it's the first thing I do when I get up in the morning and the last thing I do before I go to bed at night.

I actually enjoy cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing the counters and stove after doing the dishes and then wiping them down is like a form of meditation for me. It's a way for me to show my family how much I love them each and every day and connects me to the lessons my parents and grandparents taught me about how to live.

Tweet from @TokeOfTheTown

2010-12-24T21:59:00.000-05:00

End Times? Pat Robertson Endorses Marijuana Legalization http://bit.ly/foBCsf

No Connectivity

2010-10-30T13:12:00.000-04:00

Crowd at #rally4sanity is stunnigly white. 1person said, "You'd never
know DC is Choclate City." The Roots r here #thingswhitepoeoplelike

Can't hit Twitter from Safari or Echofon on this damn iPhone. Shows
full bars but no love.

Twitter Killed My Blog

2010-06-29T22:35:00.003-04:00

Srsly, I'm a fkin tard talking in 140 characters a clip even when I don't need to.

Community NIght

2010-02-05T10:00:00.001-05:00

BabyRat (BR) started at a DCPS on Capitol Hill this past Fall. I didn't really have time to write about it (or anything else) because the LittlestRat (LR) has been keeping us pretty busy. Work has been busier for me too, now that I'm back to working for a small company where I have to wear a couple of different hats. I've also been up to my ass in meetings, events, work days, celebrations, and "Community Nights" at BR's new school.

I don't know what's normal, but since BR started at DCPS I've probably averaged about one evening (or some kind of off the schedule daytime event) a week at her school. One of the recurring obligations is "Community Night."

Community Nights are run and sponsored by a local DC organization called Turning the Page a/k/a TTP. The first time TTP had a community night I looked at it as opportunity to go hang out at the school, meet some of the other parents, and soak up a free meal. They did a great job of marketing the event, we were contacted by a sponsor family that encouraged us to attend, they put a reminder sticker on the kids clothes that day, and we were made to feel very welcome.

I hadn't realized that after eating, the parents and the kids would separate and the parents were going to group sessions. During this session, we were given a book to take home and discussed the importance of reading to young children and some tips & techniques to engage kids in reading. It was good information, but nothing that I didn't already know and had been doing for a few years to boot.

So as the semester goes on they're having these Community Nights like every other week! Wanting to be an active and supportive parent, I attend the second community night despite the middling food and rudimentary child care lesson being delivered. The third community night is an author visit and reading, along with some samples of vegan food (the topic of the book). BabyRat is all hyped up because there is going to be a special guest so, again, I feel like I have to attend.

I know that being a parent isn't always easy or fun, I wanted to be a father and I took on these obligations and responsibilities of my own free will. So on one level I feel like I should just STFU and keep doing my part to be a responsible parent by attending every meeting or gathering where they'll have me at BR's school. At the same time, I can't help wondering if the resources being put into these community nights couldn't be being used more effectively.

I'm not writing this to denigrate or mock the efforts of the very earnest and fresh-faced (OK, maybe a little mocking) young volunteers. Quite the opposite, I think the concept is great but it could be executed a little better.

Last week we talked about nutrition, but we had a meal of store bought lasagna & mushy french fries for dinner that evening. So already there's a disconnect between what we're talking about and what we're actually doing. A demonstration where they showed how a hot breakfast of oatmeal (the real stuff, bought in bulk) with a piece of fruit compares with Pop Tarts economically and nutritionally or show how you can turn $10-15 worth of groceries (what you might spend on a fast food meal) into a nutritious dinner would be a better way to spend our time.

One of the things we (the parents & group leaders) talked about was how getting kids involved in cooking opened them up to trying new foods. Sometimes kids will surprise you, like BabyRat prefers the stalks of broccoli to the crowns. I would have never figured that out if I hadn't had BabyRat there with me while I was trimming the broccoli one night and she asked to taste the stalk.

I don't want this to turn into a critical rant, so I'll stop with the suggestions right here. Despite my misgivings, I'll continue to participate in Community Nights as long as they continue to have them because they are, on balance, a good thing.

Fwd: open for blizzarding!

2010-01-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Mark
Date: Sat, Jan 30, 2010 at 4:39 PM
Subject: open for blizzarding!

Jimmy Valentine's and Little Miss Whiskey's is open on time tonight.

$5 for shot of rail whiskey and either a Mickey's (JV's) or a Stroh's (LMW) all nighty night..

thank you for your support

www.littlemisswhiskeys.com

Water Main Break

2010-01-22T00:38:00.004-05:00

I got an e-mail from WifeRat about 4pm telling me the water was out at home. Thankfully the problem wasn't in our place or building, but there is a water main break one block over from us. When I called home to check in there were already repair folks on the scene and I could hear heavy machinery and children in the background.

When I got home, I took BabyRat out to see what all the hub-bub was about. I grabbed the new camera I gave WR for her birthday and took a few pictures.

Apparently the water main break on Florida Ave NE is related to what's going on on my block. A one man band reporter/cameraman chomped on a stogie while he explained that there was a problem with a 36-inch line on my block and that caused problem with 6, 8, and 12 water lines heading north towards Florida.

I don't know much else, but it's 1:44am, my water is back on with strong pressure, and they've got a massive hole dug at the corner of 11th & E Sts NE. Strange observation, WASA left tags on all the doors in the neighborhood advising us of a problem but when BR and I went out to take a look WASA was no where to be found, it was all Flippo trucks and DCFD.

UPDATE:

Pictures of the hole at the corner of 11th & E Sts NE

Requiem for the Death Star

2009-10-12T17:58:00.006-04:00

There has been mad drama at Death Star, Inc. (DSI) over the last couple of months. Again, we found ourselves embroiled in contract drama that finally culminated in me and several co-workers (including my boss) leaving for a smaller company. It was a good three year run with DSI but I'm excited to go to work for a smaller company where my experience, skills, and connections will be provide me and my employer greater value.

I'll be doing the same job by day at the Department of Stupidity and add some company responsibilities in the areas of proposal writing, marketing, and business development. I started out in the contractor game doing tech support and I've been attempting to run away from that field at full speed since then, so this is a move I've been trying to make for a while. Even though this will certainly mean I'll actually have to work kind of hard for the first time in years, I'm also a bit excited about work.

Drinks With a Monkey

2009-09-14T18:02:00.005-04:00

So last Wednesday I got a text from NylonThread informing me that DCist was having its 5th birthday party at the H St Country Club and invited me to come on down. I ended up being able to make it down there and, trying to make the best of a short night out, I immediately pounded a Jim Beam & Coke. For whatever reason, I wasn't finding the mixed drink satisfying so on my next round I asked for a shot of Beam and a beer. As I'm picking up my drink, I see something floating in it and it turns out there about a half dozen fruit flies in my shot. I inform the bartender, she immediately cracks open a fresh bottle and replaces the shot.

Not too long after that, Guns & Roses starts playing on the juke box and I take that as my cue to take Monkeyrotica, NylonThread, and IMGoph down to Little Miss Whiskey's Golden Dollar (Sorry Mark). I get my check and I'm flabbergasted to find that I was charged for the shot with the flies in it. I ask the bartender about it and she says, "Well I gave you a new shot" as if somehow that excuses her from serving me a drink with bugs in it.

Now I worked in a few bars and restaurants back in the day and the solemn promise I made to myself when I left that behind was that I was never going to be one of those assholes that talked a bunch of smack about working in the industry and proceeded to tip %15 or be an obnoxious douche who felt the need to correct every waiter and bartender on the finer points of service. So when this dipshit bartender acted like she was doing me a favor by replacing an insect-laden drink I let the shit ride, gave her a %20 tip and headed downstairs.

Problem was I couldn't let the shit go, so while I'm waiting for everyone else to get ready to break out, I quickly outlined the story to the guy working the door and asked him his opinion. He seemed to agree with me, but he called a manager over. So I tell her the story too. At this point I'm paid up, I don't want another drink and I don't even want my money back; I just want to get the fuck out there and go to a place that appreciates my patronage a little bit more. Well this fuckstick manager gives me a bunch of nut roll about how "in the industry" if a mistake is made and they make it right it's perfectly OK to charge the customer and she was actually correct about that. It is OK to charge a customer for a corrected mistake, but doing so doesn't usually win you any loyal customers.

I actually wasn't going to write about this incident. It's a little too close to a "I'm a blogger, fear my poison pen" tantrum for my liking, but the shit didn't sit well with me. The bartender and manager's reactions tell me that the folks staffing the place don't have a good grasp on what their job is or how to do it. I received only the most perfunctory apology and neither the bartender nor the manager made any mention of appreciating my business or hoping that I would come back so they could knock my socks off next time.

I dunno if it's just that the places I bartended I had more autonomy or what, but I would have NEVER charged someone for a mistake like that and depending on the surrounding situation may have just comped the whole check. While discussing this with Monkey and the crew down the street, he made the point that margins are thin on H St. and HSCC is generally populated by douches trucking in from 'burbs in a futile attempt to be edgy and cool. In that context it actually makes sense to hold the line on giving out free drinks. The last thing you want is for the word on the street to be that you're an easy mark for a couple of free drinks for some Tucker Max wannabes from Arlington.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

2009-09-09T09:15:00.005-04:00

I'm not quite sure how this happened, but for the first time in several years I feel like I have some kind of idea what's going on in the NFL. I didn't realize this until last weekend when I found myself making a convincing argument that the Raiders are going to the playoffs this season. Am I a deluded lifelong fan of the Silver & Black? Yes, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong. Keep reading to find out why the Raiders are going to finish above .500, make the playoffs, and could take the AFC West.

The Raider's O-Line is a big question mark going into this season, but they signed a couple of guys this off season to create some competition for the tackle spots. Barnes is a devastating run blocker who cleared huge holes for the Jaguars rushing attack last season. Henderson showed a little something late in the season in 2008 and can provide Raider's QB JaMarcus Russell the time he needs to get the ball downfield. Robert Gallery didn't become the anchor of the line at left tackle that he was predicted to be, but is well on his way to becoming a Pro Bowl caliber guard.

The Raider's troika of running backs Justin Fargas, Darren McFadden, and Michael Bush will provide the necessary depth in the backfield to weather the punishment of a 16 game season. I'm predicting that McFadden lives up to the flashes of brilliance he showed last year and will rush for 1400 yards this season. Remember, you heard it here first.

Rather than regurgitate what has been written elsewhere about the Raider wide outs, I'll just give you a link to the bleacherreport breakdown. Teams are going to have pick their poison this season, stack the box to slow down the Raiders' running game and let JaMarcus go deep on that ass or commit to stopping the passing game and let the three headed monster of McFadden, Fargas, and Bush run buck-motherfucking-wild.

The Raiders' defense has some players, but has yet to come together as a cohesive unit. The big story right now is the addition of Richard Seymour to the defensive front. That is, assuming he plays for the Raiders this season.

The real deal though is that the AFC West is weak and whack. The Chargers won the division last season with an 8-8 record, LT has peaked as a premier NFL running back, he's getting long in the tooth and brittle and the Chargers weren't even sure they wanted him back this season. Merriman can't seem to stay out of the headlines; popped for steroid use in 2006 and now he's caught a charge for choking a 90 pound woman. Add in Rivers' bloated contract, the ham-fisted GM-ing of AJ Smith, and Norv Turner as head coach and that doesn't sound like a winning team.

As for the rest of the West the Chiefs are terrible and the Broncos are starting Kyle Orton at quarterback. This is a division that is ripe for the picking.

Real Pizza on the Hill Finally?

2009-09-05T22:22:00.002-04:00

Earlier this week I heard one of the patrons at Peregrine asking some dude when the pizza joint (in the spot formerly occupied by Ben & Jerry's on 7th St SE) is opening up. The reply was that they were going to be opening some time next week. I was rolling by the place today and saw this sign up in the window.

7th Hill Pizza also had their sign up

But perhaps more important than all of that, they seem to have all of their administrative ducks in a row too.

I am waiting for this opening with bated breath, in the hopes that my days of trucking out to Valentino's for a decent pie are over.

The Littlest Rat

2009-07-16T09:50:00.008-04:00

At 1:12pm on July 6, 2009 our family became complete when we were joined by the Littlest Rat. LR weighed in at 10 pounds 12 ounces and when he was born the midwife told WifeRat, "Congratulations, you just gave birth to a two month old!!"

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks. If you saw my last blog post, that was sent from Jimmy Valentine's Lonely Hearts Club after I had taken the family to Ocean City for a day trip to the beach. Why go all the way to Ocean City when North Beach/Chesapeake Beach is less than an hour away? Well, WifeRat needed to get to the ocean while she was pregnant. A couple of months ago I had promised her we would get to the ocean before the baby was born and I had to, as BabyRat would say, "Keep it a promise."

The next weekend was the 4th of July. So naturally there was a cookout (organized by others in the building), fireworks, and much excitement. WR only made a brief appearance, just long enough for everyone to gawk at her big belly, before retreating back to air conditioned comfort.

I'm also happy to report that on the 4th of July we met a new babysitter! BabySitterRat is 16 and her and BR are in love with each other, they spent a good portion of the late afternoon/early evening on the 4th playing together and seem to be a perfect match. When I asked BabySitterRat's parents about her working for us, her Dad asked me, "Does your child ever hear the N-word in your house?" I was stunned and didn't know what to say, mostly because I drop the N-bomb all the time around the house*.

So I'm standing there giving this guy a blank look going, "Humina, humina, humina," when he breaks into a broad smile and says, "I meant the word 'no'." He goes on to explain that BSR had been taking care of some kid, told him he couldn't do something, and the parents came home and gave her a raft of shit for "disciplining" their child. At this point he got involved and told BSR's former employers they were idiots and decided that after that incident he needed to find out where people's heads were at before he allowed his daughter to work for them. Seeing as how I'm the kind of guy who wanted to talk to him *before* I hired his daughter to look after my kid, I don't think we'll have any problems.

Finally, the Monday after the 4th of July, WifeRat woke me up and informed me that she was in labor while weeping tears of joy. We hugged excitedly and cheered our good fortune that I could just take BR to school while she delivered the baby before I went back to sleep. I was buffeted by twin feelings of panic and calm as BR and I had a fairly normal 7am start to a school day. The morning started so normal (with the exception of calling the mid-wife and birth assistant) that the original plan was for me to stop for coffee after I dropped BR at school.

By the time I actually left to take BR to school, WifeRat reported that her contractions had started coming fast & furious. When BabyRat was born WR went into labor about the same time (4am-ish) and we didn't even go to the birth center until 2pm, but it was pretty clear that the LittlestRat was coming and coming quickly. WifeRat talked on the phone to Go To Girl while I ran BR to school real quick.

I won't get into all the details of the birth, but I must confess that I did fall asleep for about 25 minutes towards the end of the birth while holding one of WifeRat's leg aloft. What I will say is how awesome our midwife and birth assistant were through out the whole birth experience, I can't imagine that we could have had two more thoughtful, kind, encouraging, and professional women attending LR's birth. They were truly amazing and I will spend the rest of my life being grateful to them for helping my wife bring my son into the world.

*I find it most hilarious to address my Irish/German/Norwegian wife who hails from North Dakota as, "Nigga." Of course WifeRat doesn't find it nearly as funny as I do, but sometimes she'll let out a titter of amusement in spite of herself.

I used Shazam to discover All The Things I Look For by Dennis Ferrer

2009-06-28T01:41:00.001-04:00

Hi,

I've just used Shazam to discover All The Things I Look For by Dennis Ferrer. I thought you might like this track.

If you have Shazam on your iPhone or iPod touch, tap here to add this Tag to your list. To get Shazam on your iPhone or iPod touch visit the App Store.

Shazam is free to download and use, so check it out.

Nigaz For Life

2009-06-26T21:28:00.003-04:00

Over at Stinque they say, "If it smells, we're on it" and they didn't miss this rather hilarious story. Of course I tweeted that shit and now I'm posting a link to the BBC story here on my blog just in case anyone missed it.

Coffee the Way It Should Be

2009-06-23T09:02:00.002-04:00

Blog Fail

2009-06-11T11:21:00.000-04:00

I took another run at posting everyday for a month and fell off the wagon after less than a week. I may try the everyday posting this again at some point in the future, but it will have to wait for a while 'cause the newest member of Swiss Family Rat is due to make his or her appearance sometime in the next three weeks.

Teddy Folkman to Help out at Annual Brainfood Charity Event -- June 11

2009-06-09T17:04:00.003-04:00

3^rd Annual Brainfood Grill-Off Brings the Heat of Competition to DC

Top chefs team up with amateur cooks to benefit local nonprofit

WHAT: Teams of award-winning chefs, amateur grilling aficionados and Brainfood program graduates compete for top honors at the 3^rd Annual Brainfood Grill-Off. Brainfood is a DC-based nonprofit that uses food and cooking as tools to teach life skills and healthy living to teenagers in a safe and positive environment. In addition to the grilling competition, highlights include hors d'oeuvres, open bar and live auction. Thanks to the generosity of Reznick Group and other sponsors, 100 percent of ticket sales will support Brainfood after-school and summer programs, including hands-on instruction, educational field trips and guest chef demonstrations.

WHO: Top local chefs team up with amateur cooks, including:

· Glenn Babcock, Nage

· Anthony Chittum, Vermilion

· Daniel Giusti, 1789 Restaurant

· Teddy Folkman, Granville Moore's (and finalist on the new season of The Next Food Network Star)

· Jonathan Krinn, Inox Restaurant

· Jon Mathieson, Inox Restaurant

· Cedric Maupillier, Central Michel Richard

· Bryan Moscatello, Zola

· Shannon Overmiller, The Majestic

Emcee for the evening is Leon Harris, WJLA-TV ABC7.

WHEN: Thursday, June 11, 2009

6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m.

WHERE: Decatur House on Lafayette Square

1610 H Street, NW

Washington, DC 20006

COST: $75 per ticket

$3,000 per team entry

http://brain-food.org/brainfood-grill-off-june-11th-2009

MEDIA VISUALS:

· Professional chefs help amateurs turn fresh ingredients into culinary masterpieces

· Brainfood graduates – all DC high school students – show off their cooking skills

· Event photos: http://brain-food.org/category/image-galleries/brainfood-grill-off-2008

About Brainfood:

Brainfood is a nonprofit youth development organization that uses food and cooking as tools to teach life skills and healthy living to teenagers in a safe, healthy and positive environment. Local high school students participate in our programs either twice a week after school or five days a week for six weeks during the summer. Activities include hands-on cooking classes, lectures, field trips and community service projects. Brainfood graduates are equipped with practical cooking skills, an introduction to the food industry, a framework for nutritious eating, and leadership and life experiences that prepare them to make a difference in their communities. Brainfood is in its 10^th year of operations and has locations in the Columbia Heights and Chinatown neighborhoods of Washington, DC. For more information, visit: www.brain-food.org.

Real World DC Links - Updated

2009-06-08T09:51:00.005-04:00

Borderstan is posting about the not so secret location of the Real World DC house. Prince of Petworth has also posted about the future home for DC's hand picked new residents. Some site name Vevmo has pix and stills of the house up and a very active message board for people who seem to care about all of this just a little too much.

UPDATE
There is, of course, the obligatory Real World hate site up that comes complete with Twitter stream.

Friday Night Lights

2009-06-05T21:58:00.005-04:00

Typical whirlwind Friday. We've been grilling and having low impact Happy Hour with another family or two on Friday evenings since we got a new outdoor set about six weeks ago. There are two things that initially led us to believe that WifeRat and I would be together forever. The first thing was travelling together and the second was entertaining together.

WifeRat and I both love to entertain and, perhaps more importantly, we love to entertain together. Neither of us thinks too much of last minute dinner guests, unexpected visits, and hastily called get togethers. At varying times in our relationship both of us have nervously called up the other, sheepishly explained the need for assistance, and then come home to an almost magazine worthy spread of food and drink in miraculously clean place.

Rather than grilling tonight, the kids from across the street were over. The folks that live across the street from us have a daughter who is about six months older than BabyRat, a son who is 2 1/2, and they just had a third about 6 weeks ago. Naturally BabyRat and the daughter are BFF and the younger brother is always invited to tag along when the BFF comes over. When I realized that I could easily accommodate a couple of extra kids in my dinner plans I called across the street and got the OK.

So rather than an ad hoc grill session/Happy Hour, we had the neighbor kids over for dinner to add some excitement to the end of the week. It was hectic, but fun to have three kids at the dinner table with us tonight. The BFF's mom says that she's a picky eater, but all I know is that kid chows down whenever she's at our house. It's kind of cool though to have neighbors whose kids are at your house enough to notice something like that.

Teddy Folkman Named Executive Chef at Capitol Lounge

2009-06-04T12:32:00.002-04:00

Does posting a press release count as my post for the day?

Teddy Folkman Named Executive Chef at Capitol Lounge
The Next Food Network Star Finalist Brings Acclaimed Cuisine to Capitol Hill

Washington, DC- The Capitol Lounge, one of Capitol Hill's most storied restaurants, is raising the bar to a new level this summer. Finalist of Food Network's The Next Food Network Star and co-owner/executive chef of Granville Moore's, Teddy Folkman has entered the fray on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Chef Folkman, debuting on Food Network's The Next Food Network Star on June 7th, will unveil a menu that touches both on his celebrated dishes at Granville Moore's and Capitol Lounge's classic pub fare. Dedicated to enhancing the Capitol Lounge dining experience, Chef Folkman brings his own signature style and pedigree to a block that already boasts the likes of Food Network's own Spike Mendelsohn of Good Stuff Eatery and Barton Seaver of Sonoma. He formally assumes the role of Executive Chef on June 8th, 2009 with a new menu launching that week.

Beginning Sunday, June 7th, guests are welcome to watch each weekly episode of The Next Food Network Star at Capitol Lounge (229 Pennsylvania Ave SE, Washington, DC) with Chef Folkman. Episodes are scheduled to run Sundays at 9pm EST. Other viewing party locations include:

-The Argonaut - 1430 Maryland Ave NE, Washington, DC
-Reynolds Street Bar and Grill - 34 South Reynolds Street, Alexandria, VA
-Veritas Wine Bar - 2031 Florida Ave NW, Washington DC
-Enology Wine Bar - 3238 Wisconsin Ave NW, Washington DC

The Lounge's new menu will feature Folkman's signature dishes, Moules Fromage Bleu and his one-of-a-kind frites, in addition to items including Fried Tabasco Oysters, Goat Cheese Poppers, Crispy Tuna Rolls, and made-to-order pizza. Chef Folkman will work closely with leading purveyors and vendors to bring guests top-quality ingredients. He will be a significant presence at the restaurant and oversee all menu developments.

"It is really exciting to be able to take over the kitchen of Capitol Lounge. When I first moved to DC in 1999, I lived around the block. Because of that and my love for their pizzas and wings, it is a place where some of my best memories lie. I'm hoping to create some new memories and bring some really fun gourmet bar food to what is sure to be one of the most exciting blocks in the city this summer," says Folkman.

Restauranteur Joe Englert opened The Capitol Lounge in 1994. After numerous fires in the last two decades, one which left the venue inoperable for months, the property has received a major facelift. A series of renovations on both floors has been completed in recent months leading up to Chef Folkman's arrival. Additionally, the Lounge will now showcase an expanded beer list of 70 items, 12 of those on draft, and 30 wines to compliment Folkman's offerings.

"I've always craved change," says Englert. "I've always felt that the only way for a restaurant to remain viable is to keep up with trends and movements. Americans, in general, and Washingtonians in particular, now demand fresh, innovative food, and this is exactly what Teddy will deliver. The kitchen will have much more attention to detail and we will be a very attractive night out for young families, foodies, and anyone who works on the hill."
Capitol Lounge will continue serving dinner beginning at 4 p.m. every evening and will begin serving lunch at 11 a.m. on July 8th, 2009.

About Teddy:

Teddy's cooking experiences have taken him all over the metropolitan DC area, where he started as a commis at Cashion's Eat Place. After working as a Sous chef at The Reef, Clyde's of Georgetown, Evening Star Cafe, and Vermillion, he headed the kitchen at The Reef and Balducci's Food Lovers Market. Teddy is co-owner and Executive Chef of Dr. Granville Moore's Gastropub in the Atlas District on Capitol Hill.

Teddy has been an integral part of Granville Moore's success, gaining notoriety from the Washingtonian (Best of 2008 - Top 100 Cheap Eats), Washington City Paper (Best of D.C. 2008 and 2009 - Best Mussels), Imbibe Magazine Top 100 Places to Drink in America (Top Ten Gastropubs), and "Every day with Rachel Ray". He was challenged to a Moules-Frites showdown in March 2008 with Food Network Star Chef Bobby Flay - and won!

Teddy has appeared on Fox5 News, DC 101's Elliott in the Morning, and The Mike O'Meara Show. As well, Teddy goes back to the Food Network as a finalist on the upcoming season of Food Network's The Next Food Network Star. Teddy serves as a volunteer at Brainfood and local metropolitan schools and currently resides in Alexandria, VA.

Bad Training Class

2009-06-03T14:56:00.003-04:00

I've been in a SharePoint Designer training class for the last two days that has largely been a waste of time. I'm far from being some sort of website guru but what I needed was more SharePoint specific information about data sources and pulling info from .xml documents, not a class on how to use Designer to edit HTML and apply master pages. I probably could have taught this class myself with two days of prep time.

Perhaps most disappointing was the fact that the instructor didn't actually have a lot of SharePoint specific knowledge. This kid's (and he's definitely a kid, he might be 25) specialty is DreamWeaver and he's just applying his knowledge of that program to follow along with a really shitty book provided by the training company, New Horizons. Yes New Horizons, your training materials suck.

Honestly, it's not really the instructor's fault that I'm not getting what I need out of this class; I blame our client's training coordinator for that. Since I'm the de facto lead SharePoint developer where I work, it probably would have made sense to consult with me about exactly what I needed to learn in a SharePoint Designer class. And since it would have made sense to do that, it didn't happen.

The real problem with not learning anything of real value in this class, is that we (really I) have been kind of stuck on a couple of SharePoint projects. It doesn't matter that what our client is asking for is shit-in-your-pants stupid, they are now going to expect that I will be able to surmount all previous obstacles and will probably ask for some additional bells & whistles just so they feel like they got their money's worth out of their training dollars.

This brings me to the problem with the gov't and their lack of need for efficiency of any kind. Rather than doing some sort of cost/benefit analysis to determine if it makes sense for me to spend a couple of months developing a "staff locator" or automated meeting agendas or whatever type of computerized snipe hunt they come up with, they just say, "Do it." They don't care how little benefit they will get out of it, they don't care if what they're asking for doesn't make any sense, and they really don't care how much it costs. They want what they want and, as gov't contractors, we're obliged to give it to them. Seriously, it's like working for children sometimes; they just want to see how far they can push you before you tell them "No."

What's the Opposite of "On Blast?"

2009-06-02T21:22:00.001-04:00

I do a lot of whining, complaining, and otherwise excoriating various people, places, and things for slights and misdeeds both real and imagined. I experimented with a regular feature called "on blast" that ended in abject failure. To balance the karmic scales, it seems like I should talk about the good things that happen in my life with the same enthusiasm.

Too bad today was far too annoying for me to write a glowing post about anything. I'm just trying to get rid of some of these old drafts and I somehow thought that I was going to be able to muster up some enthusiasm when I sat down to write.

Last time I did this posting everyday for a month thing, I gave myself a 500 word minimum on posts. Things being what they are these days; WifeRat is 8 months pregnant and I've been extremely busy at work for the last couple of months; I don't know how realistic it is to set such a lofty goal. All I know right now is that I'm tired, it's almost ten o'clock, and I'm done doing anything other watching TV today.

A Sign?

2009-06-01T02:07:00.004-04:00

For what was probably the first time in a couple of months, we had a weekend day with absolutely nothing planned. No family obligations, no rugby, no school nonsense, no work stuff, no date night, no play dates, no friends coming to town, no nothing. It was a relief to be able loll around in the bed this morning with our most pressing concern being whether to make French toast & bacon or shoot down to Sidamo for breakfast sandwiches and coffee.

After breakfast (I went to Sidamo and brought it home) we took the paper downstairs to the backyard to sit around the table and chill. We made some paper airplanes out of the mass of circulars until I finally got moving on cleaning out the back of the car so I could finally get the bikes & bike trailer out of storage.

Once I got everything home and made sure it was in working order (pumped up the tires and swapped out an uncomfortable seat), we went for a little ride around the Hill. We stopped at Lincoln Park to let BabyRat run off some of the energy she had accumulated during her nap and ended up at Matchbox for a fairly early dinner.

$.88 soft serve cones at Dunkin' Donuts proved to be too much to resist following our meal and by some unplanned miracle, we end up at home exactly at bath time. Of course, none of this was enough to get that recalcitrant child of ours to just take her little ass to sleep in a timely fashion but you can't have everything.

By the time I finished watching the Tivo'd Super League Championship game I was starting to feel pretty worn out. I still forced myself to go grocery shopping at Whole Paycheck lest we end spending another week doing a la minute dinner planning which often takes the form of going out to eat.

On the way home from the grocery store I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to stop by Jimmy Valentine's. Not surprisingly, I ended up having a pretty informative conversation there before I came home to put away groceries and finally take a shower after living like a dirty frat boy all weekend.

Now it's 2am and I'm having trouble sleeping, so naturally I decided to get up a do a blog post and I notice that it's June 1. A perfect time for me to re-commit to this blog and see if I can bang out another month of non-stop blog posts.

It seems like a good time to do it; I have so much to write about and my first day's post is already done. Who's with me?

H St. Country Club - Quick First Look

2009-05-27T00:20:00.005-04:00

Despite my lack of posting over the last couple of months, somehow I was graced with an invite to tonight's preview of the H St. Country Club. I guess it makes sense because I do talk about eating a lot, but it caught me off guard. I try not to take myself, or this occasionally asinine blog, too seriously; so the idea that I might be credentialed to something as a media member is kind of flattering.

Anyway, I bounced down to the Country Club about 8pm to soak up my share of the free food and drink being provided. When I walked in I was given a press packet filled with boilerplate about the Country Club and its chefs, owners, and management and a drink ticket. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

My first drink was an excellent frozen guava margarita that was suggested to me by Joe the bartender. I can just imagine the brain freeze I'll get this Summer when I suck one of those down after walking the half a dozen sweaty blocks between my crib and the Country Club. Then with drink in hand, I took a stroll around the place.

I had been to the Phish Tea Cafe, the restaurant that previously inhabited 1335 H St. NE, and they had only used a fraction of the space and not nearly as well. Big Joe knows what he's doing, is well capitalized, and it shows in the final product he's put together here. The H St. Country Club (HSCC) has a unique concept that has been executed very, very well.

I'll spare you a lot of blather about sumptuous wood tones and all the decorative flourishes that you'll see throughout the bar. The mini golf course upstairs is what much of the buzz about HSCC has centered on and it lives up to the hype. Even with the shitty camera in my iPhone, I managed to get a couple of half-decent pix of the mini golf course.

I know a lot of foodies are hyped up for Ann Cashion's new joint, but it looked like they were only serving selections from the bar menu tonight. Everything I tasted was good, but there's only so much you can do to nachos and quesadillas to dress them up. I missed out on the empenadas (which looked great) but consoled myself with the hot lima bean dip which is much, much better than it sounds.

The only disappointment of the night was my second drink, the Hot Tamale; a Ketel One Martini with jalapeno stuffed olives. The olives were a little mushy and not nearly salty enough and the jalapenos should have been hotter and lacked the vinegary tang that I was looking for.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - H Street Country Club Opening

2009-05-25T02:43:00.003-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
May 22, 2009

H STREET COUNTRY CLUB BRINGS ECLECTIC MEXICAN CUISINE TO THE ATLAS DISTRICT

DC's most anticipated concept opens in its hottest corridor

Washington, DC - The H Street Country Club, H Street's newest and most anticipated concept in Washington will be opening Wednesday, May 27, 2009. With celebrated, James Beard-Award winning Chef Ann Cashion as the creative mind behind the menu, this 6,800 sq. foot, 300-seat dining destination will serve up fresh, authentic Mexican cuisine with both southern and northern accents. Locally trained Pablo Cardoso (formerly of Jackie's & Cashion's Eat Place) will serve as executive chef. Guests will experience the country club's ground level "locker room" upon entry, designed with dark maple lockers and a 40 ft. bar covered in warm plaid print. An open eat-in kitchen is set past the shuffleboard, pool tables and skeeball machines. The second floor features space for dining and a DC-centric 9-hole mini-golf course, including scaled monuments and memorials, the Awakening of Marion Barry, and towering K Street Lego Lawyers.

The restaurant will provide an entertaining and modern setting in which to meet and connect while enjoying top-notch Mexican cuisine.
"This project has been in the works for a long time. We are excited to be able to bring great food and a unique atmosphere to a growing neighborhood." said owner Joe Englert.

The chef will work closely with leading purveyors and vendors to bring guests the highest quality ingredients and the freshest foods available. The menu, a blend of both traditional and contemporary dishes, will include items that excite guests' taste buds. The main floor El Norte menu boasts Chili con Queso, Nacogdoches Meat Pies, Spicy Tamales, and Lobster Tostadas. The second floor dining room will feature items including Chilaquiles with Roasted Duck, Snapper Veracruz, Lamb Enchiladas, Pork Rib Carnitas and Chicken Escabeche. All ingredients will be of top quality and delivered fresh daily.

Celebrated Chef Teddy Folkman will be a significant presence at the restaurant and will oversee new menu developments. Chef Folkman began his culinary career as a commis at The Reef and Cashion's Eat Place, and currently presides as the co-owner and executive chef at Granville Moore's. Management of the day-to-day operations will fall on co-owners Ricardo Vergara, Blair Zervos and Assistant General Manager Kristin Cook, who will bring an eclectic flavor to the Atlas District community and beyond. Chef Cardoso will be at the helm of the H Street Country Club's culinary offerings, and will maintain a consistent execution of the restaurant's cuisine.

The H Street Country Club will showcase a wide variety of high-quality wine, beer and cocktails in a fashion that will compliment the menu. Spanish and Latin wines will headline a drink menu that includes an array of Mexican beer, sangria, margaritas, and 20 different tequilas. Cocktail aficionados will love the club's signature drinks, such as the "I Wanna Jana", which combines Patron Silver & Chambord chilled & muddled with fresh lime, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and honey, or the "El Luchador" that combines Sauza Tres Generaciones Tequila & fresh lemon sour with muddled cucumber, cilantro & a slice of jalapeño pepper. The design of the restaurant and golf course was executed by artist Lee T. Wheeler of Arlington, VA. A graduate of Virginia Commonwealth University in Sculpture, Lee has created an extraordinary and innovative space that will awaken the imagination of the Country Club guests. The series of DC-centric golf holes on the second floor captures the rich and, at times, comical history of our nation's capital. Contemporary lighting and creative construction of tables and lounge chairs provide for an intimate and comfortable space. The sleek look of the entire venue will exude the modern, urban vibe for which H Street is known.

The H Street Country Club will be open daily from 5:00 p.m. - 2:00 a.m. Sunday through Thursday and from 5:00 p.m. - 3:00 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights. The restaurant is located at 1335 H Street NE, Washington D.C. Walk-ins are welcome and seating is on a first-come, first-served basis. To contact the restaurant, please call 202-399-HSCC (4722). For more information on the H Street Country Club, visit www.hstreetcountryclub.com/media.

###

Media Contact: James D. Silk
H Street Country Club
202.399.HSCC (4722)
james@thehstreetcountryclub.com

H Street Country Club • 1335 H Street, NE, Washington DC 20002 • 202-399-HSCC (4722)
© 2009 All Rights Reserved

Visit www.hstreetcountryclub.com for links to our mailing list, Facebook and Twitter.

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HillRat Laid Bare in ABC Form

2009-05-10T22:13:00.004-04:00

I got tagged with one of those silly blog memes and I'm a good sport so I'll play along.

A - Age: 39, but I do turn the big 40 later this year.
B - Bed size: King, natch.
C - Chore you hate: Dusting
D - Dog's name: No dog. Did I lose a war or something, why am I cleaning up dog shit?
E - Essential start your day item: A snuggle with BabyRat
F - Favorite color: Black
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 6'3"
I - Instruments you played: Drums . . . poorly
J - Job title: It depends. I work for a massive gov't contractor at an equally huge gov't agency, so I have two titles. Gov't job title is Business Analyst, contractor job title is Sr. Technical Writer.
K - Kids: 1+. BabyRat, currently 4 and a player to be named later, due to drop on July 6
L - Living arrangements: 2BR condo on Capitol Hill
M - Mom's name: Carrie
N - Nicknames: Too many to list
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Broken leg ('85) and Pericardial window in '01
P - Pet Peeve: Stupid motherfuckers.
Q - Quote from a movie: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. "
R - Right or left handed: Right handed
S - Siblings: 1 younger sister
T - Time you wake up: 7am
U- Underwear: Boxers
V - Vegetable you dislike: Any vegetable that's overcooked
W - Ways you run late: Staying somewhere for "one last beer"
X - Rays you've had: A lot
Y - Yummy food you make: I made Eggs Benedict with butter-poached lobster for my Mom and wife yesterday for Mother's Day
Z - Zoo animals: I love those big ass elephants

jimmy valentine's lonely hearts club

2009-05-08T10:59:00.005-04:00

These folks like to keep a low profile; so the less said, the better. -HR

From Moms on the Hill (MOTH)

2009-04-21T10:41:00.004-04:00

From a MOTH post:

Hello, MOTH gardeners and driveway "owners" --- Neighbors and community members are reporting that they are receiving tickets for parking in their own driveway (which is not legally theirs, according to DC law) and for having treebox plantings over 18 inches (under an 1870 law governing public spaces).

One woman I know got tickets for each violation, the car in the driveway and a Yucca plant that exceed 18 inches. I have heard that new inspectors have been hired, and are being encouraged to ticket and tickets have indeed been issued. The curb cut that leads to the driveway and the driveway itself, if located in the front or side of the house, unless set far back like in some NW neighborhoods, is public space and parking in apparently not permitted there. So people who have been parking in what they believe to be their driveway for years are getting tickets from DDOT. Perhaps the city is trying to raise funds any way it can in these trying times.

As for the treebox, a tree is permitted, of course, but even a tulip that reaches a little 18 inches, or a sunflower, as I have have liked to plant, can result in a hefty fine. Some have complained to ANC and Wells' office, but be forewarned--the fines will keep coming, I understand.

Not Quite Breaking News - Shooting at 1400 Maryland Ave NE

2009-04-10T12:38:00.002-04:00

Frozen Tropics just posted that there was a shooting this morning at 1400 Maryland Ave NE. Fox News also has a story up.

DC Alert pegged the time of the shooting at 8:47am and reported that the gunman was last seen heading on foot towards H St NE. Suspect was wearing a gray & black jacket, dark pants, a skull cap, and a black ski mask.

Rumor Mongering - H St. Country Club

2009-04-07T09:28:00.004-04:00

I've totally fallen off with posting lately. Between rugby season taking up a lot of time, my boss actually making me work, and a pregnant wife I just haven't gotten around to doing much writing. The great irony is that being busy means that I have more material to write about, but less time to actually do the writing.

I was talking to a former neighbor this morning and he told me that the reason the H St. Country Club hasn't opened is a problem with WASA. Apparently the Country Club has a six inch water pipe coming from the street but only a three inch pipe servicing the property which can't meet their needs.

I asked about the fact that there was a restaurant in that spot previously and got a little background information that the former tenant wasn't using the entire footprint of the property and they didn't have a sprinkler system. I guess there's a little more regulatory oversight on H St. these days.

Mangialardo's FTW!!!

2009-03-24T20:22:00.001-04:00

I'm 2 for 2 on good lunches this week. Suggestions for tomorrow?

MF Doom's New Album

2009-03-24T13:18:00.002-04:00

From a Tweet from the Humanity Critic.

Reclusive Rapper Doom Talks New LP “Born Like This.” and Responds to Fan Rage

USDA Cafeteria = Abomination

2009-03-24T09:39:00.000-04:00

You would think that the HQ of the motherfucking USDA would be participating in CSA (community supported agriculture) wouldn't you? You'd definitely be wrong, because we have the same disgusting Sodexho crap that they serve at every cafeteria in town. It wouldn't be so bad if it were cheap, but it's hard to get a filling meal (that's not 70% bleached white flour) in that place for less $8-10. Barf.

Sunday Feminist Links

2009-03-15T15:07:00.004-04:00

Here's some feminist stuff that I've been looking at online lately

Pet Peeve: Dads Who “Babysit” Their Kids

- The title says it all, but as a dude who doesn't think much of leaving the wife at home and taking his kid with him to a rugby game all day or having his wife go out of town for a conference for a couple of days (although that hasn't happened for a couple of years now) I definitely feel the sentiment of this post. I'm not fucking "babysitting" I'm parenting my child, having a dick doesn't render me incompetent in the child care department.

This one comes from the womyn at The Pursuit of Harpyness, a feminist website. For the most part the authors and denizens of the site are a little too hardcore for me but they link to, as well as write, some cool and interesting shit so I continue to check them out.

What do I mean by "too hardcore?" Well, I got ripped into for having the temerity to say that I'm a reluctant feminist. They seem to not realize that that kind of shit is a big part of why feminism has such an image problem. I appreciate and respect their blood & thunder, take no prisoners approach; they're Malcolm to Ms. magazine's Martin; but at the same time it doesn't do much to bring people into the fold that aren't aligned with them and their world view.

Is It "Perilous" To Be A Female Blogger?

- Rather than a rant about how tough it is for women bloggers, it's a jumping off point for discussion. The author talks about some of the ridiculous comments they get on Jezebel and cites an article from the Washington Post (that I read when first published) about women bloggers who have been threatened with violence, but doesn't extrapolate that out to the entire internet. The comments that I saw were pretty reasonable and some bordered on thought provoking.

The nonsense about the threats was disappointing but not surprising to me, especially when you think about who's blogging and commenting on blogs. I usually imagine a pasty, overweight, thirty-something loser, who's still living in the basement of his parent's house, or maybe a socially inept but professionally successful tech guy, or 19 year olds showing off for each other in the dorms. None of these guys are doing very well with the ladies and they're all clueless as to why. They're not getting laid, so it has to be 'cause those stuck up bitches are dykes or they just don't want to be with a "real man" like them, right? No surprise that group of Casanovas is using the anonymity of the internet to work out their anger towards women.

That's Not My Name: Beating Down Online Misogyny

- I guess I found this via a Tweet from the Reverse Cowgirl earlier today. The title link just takes you to a panel description at SXSW, this link right here was posted by one of the panelists and has a ton of links to hot shit.

March Family Programs

2009-03-10T11:10:00.006-04:00

March Family Programs at
the National Building Museum

A Day of Flying
Sunday, March 15, 2009

Model Airplane Workshop
9:00 - 11:00 am

Construct your own rubber-band-propelled model airplane with the DC Maxecuters, then try a test flight in the Great Hall. Ages 8 and up.

Prepaid registration required by March 12, 2009.
Learn More.

Flying in the Great Hall
11:00 am - 4:00 pm

Watch as the DC Maxecuters fly their model airplanes in and across the Great Hall!
FREE. Drop-in demonstration program. All ages.

Summer Camp at the NBM

Two-week sessions for campers entering grades 3-5 in fall 2009

Sign up today!

Building Artists
July 13-24, 2009
Discover the Museum's great architecture through different artistic mediums. Learn about the building arts through creative movement, visual art, pop up architecture, and even puppetry!

Worldly Builders
July 27-August 7, 2009
Take a trip without ever leaving D.C. to three regions from around the world to explore their structures and cultures. Discover through hands-on activities what makes Russia, Greece, and Alaska "green", aesthetically pleasing, and exciting.

Young Designers
August 10-21, 2009
What makes D.C. a great U.S. capital? Using visual art, photography, storytelling, and building arts activities, redesign a new capital that celebrates the ideas and diversity of young people today!

National Cherry Blossom Festival Family Day & Opening Ceremony
March 28, 2009
10:00 am - 5:30 pm

Join the National Building Museum and the National Cherry Blossom Festival in celebrating the annual opening of Washington, D.C.'s cherry blossom season. This annual family day invites visitors of all ages to enjoy hands-on activities, captivating martial arts demonstrations, and exciting indoor and outdoor performances that explore Japanese arts and design.

Learn More

The National Cherry Blossom Festival(R) Family Day and Opening Ceremony is sponsored by Target(R). The event is also supported by The Home Depot, The Washington Examiner, and Westwood College.

401 F Street NW Washington DC 20001 | 202.272.2448 | Red Line Metro, Judiciary Square
Free Admission | Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 11 am-5pm
http://www.nbm.org/

Separated at Birth? - Updated

2009-03-08T23:30:00.005-04:00

The latest installment in an occasional series.

I was first alerted to the presence of Chris Dane Owens by the folks over at Coilhouse and immediately started "Chris Rolling" my friends with his video. Then the other day Ann Coulter's ghastly mug appeared on my screen for a few moments spouting nonsense. Sometime later it dawned on me that Chris Dane Owens and Ann Coulter were twins who were separated at birth.

I won't speculate on whether or not one or the other of them may have had gender reassignment surgery, I'll leave that the commentariat. I report, you decide.

UPDATED!! At WifeRat's suggestion, I added the Nelson twins to the mix. If I had more free time and some programming skill I'm sure I could make a funny game out of this, but this will have to do for now.

The Answer is NO!

2009-03-07T21:51:00.003-05:00

Earlier this week I found myself seriously contemplating retiring from being an active Young Boy rugger. You don't want to be a guy who hangs on too long and loses the respect and admiration of his mates and opponents that has been earned over the course of many years by thinking too much of yourself and your abilities.

As I sit here on the couch; with a golf ball sized lump on my head, a bag of ice on my ankle, and just about every muscle in my body begging for relief that will not come any time soon; I know that I do still have something left in the tank. Perhaps even more than I suspected. I know that the time for me to retire has not come yet and probably will not come any time soon.

I don't think I played particularly well today in large part because I'm so out of shape. I wasn't bad, I didn't embarrass myself but I could feel the years and the lack of training over the last nine months. My quads were still aching from Thursday nights practice when I left the house this morning and I cramped up about five minutes into the second half of the game against the Hooligans.

My body wasn't there, but my mind, my rugby mind is sharper than ever. It seems with every passing year as I lose another step or half a step, I see the field better. The game slows down around me as I see holes open up that I wouldn't have seen five years ago or I see where my opponent is going with the ball before he even has it in his hands. This knowledge, this vision will help me continue to be a player who can dominate a game and be a force on the field, but only if it's in conjunction with a more intense training program.

My body is screaming at me and I know that I have no choice now but to start working out outside of the one night a week I make it to practice. There's no other way that a guy who is closing in on 40 can be an effective utility forward (the only thing I can't do in the scrum is hook) unless he keeps his fitness up. Even though I've never been much for weight lifting and conditioning outside of practice, I will start now because this game is like an infection, a virus, a sickness with me and I hope that I never recover.

jimmy valentine's lonely hearts club - Weekend of March 6-8

2009-03-05T10:20:00.008-05:00

this friday, 3/6, Sinister Intelligence Agency sorts through their tastemaker's grab bag ranging from indie to industrial, AND AND AND they're bringing Digit216 down from NYC to blast out a gravity-bending d&b set, word is your face might melt

this saturray, 3/7, doors open at 9 for the THE BOOSHIE BALL (flier below). we're white-knuckled in anticipation for what purports to be quite the sensory overload as local designer Ginger Bray shows off her latest line in fabulous women's fashion while DJ's Sammy K & Hanik, Ray Casil, John Michael, & Dan Soda throw down slamming house and techno (some of you may (or may not!) remember john & dan's block-shaking 6 hour set at our last Johnson & Johnson party (the monday before inauguration)). we've been told to expect champagne & models, professional video stimulus, a raffle for one of Ginger's custom designs... apparently all we're missing is scooby & the mystery machine, though perhaps mr. guiness will make one of his pet-me-i'm-needy appearances. great dance music guaranteed, this will definitely be a blast

and of course every sunday y'all can battle D Thrett on the old skool nintendo (she got a refurbished one w/ the original controls), 2 player games like Mario Bros., Dick Tracy, Milon's Secret Castle, Hudsons Adventure Island, Friday the 13th... it's, like... culture

you been warned

jvlhc krewe

(Click for full-sized image)

Time to Hang 'Em Up?

2009-03-02T22:19:00.005-05:00

This Thursday will start my tenth year of playing rugby. I've had a good run; I was Captain of my team for a few years and held several different positions on the team's executive board but managed to avoid being President. In retrospect that was probably a mistake because I was Match Secretary for three years running.

The Match Secretary sets the team's schedule, is generally responsible for the majority of the day-to-day logistics (getting directions to the team for away games or getting your opponent directions to your home field, making sure you have a lit field to practice on, a field where you can play games, getting the fields lined, etc.) of running a rugby team. Because our union is run by miserable shitheels, each team has to fend for itself with regard to fields, so it's a never ending struggle to say the least.

According to WifeRat, every year for the last 3 or 4 years I start talking about hanging up my boots. Not Timberland boots, rugby boots. Almost all of the rugby slang and terminology used in the States is British in origin because there is no distinctive American rugby culture. So your cleats are "boots", your rugby gear is your "kit", and you talk about your 'mates; not because we're trying to sound snobby and British but simply because there are no American words for those things and rough American translations always sound kind of goofy.

Anyway, I guess before I made some sort of half-hearted offer to retire from being a full-time, active player just to make sure it's still cool with the wife that I kept playing rugby. At this point I think we all know that I'll never stop playing all together until I am physically unable to roll my old bones onto the field. But there's a big difference between turning up for a couple of B-sides each season and the Old Boy/Young Boy game and actually being a fully committed player.

The difference this year is that I'm really not sure I want to keep playing. A lot has changed in the time since the Spring 2008 season ended; I coached my first team, my Dad died, and my wife is pregnant with our second child. All of these things bring a new perspective and new challenges.

Coaching for the first time really opened my eyes to the fact that after my playing days are over I still have something to give this game that I have come to love so much. I always knew that I would be a good coach, for many years I worked as a technical trainer; breaking down subjects and making them understandable, creating documentation, and commanding rooms full of people who all thought they were the smartest person in the room. Still, just like I was shocked at how eagerly my teammates made me their leader and followed me without question as Captain. I was just as surprised to find that my young charges at MSUM Rugby wanted me to ride their asses, to correct them, and to push them harder than they could push themselves as their coach.

It was exhilarating to say the least. I heard myself starting to sound like my high school football coaches reflexively telling my players, "Hurry back, hurry back!" at the end of each repetition of a drill. I loved standing on the sled, lining up my players, and seeing them explode like a fist each time I yelled, "ENGAGE!" I finally came to understand the weird, sadistic glee that my coaches always seemed to take in running us until we barfed. I dunno, maybe it was just all the yelling I really enjoyed.

Without a rugby team to keep me anchored I don't know what I would have done out in Fargo in the wake of my Father's death, so I owe those boys out there a debt that I can never repay. Being back in DC has brought the old man's passing into sharp focus for me, just like I knew it would. I have all kinds of shit related to Dad's passing to deal with, not the least of which is a now empty 3 family house in Newark that needs to be sold. Can someone explain to me how a man who kept every single bit of documentation, for every toy he ever bought his Granddaughter in a neatly labeled folder dies WITHOUT HAVING A FUCKING WILL?!?!?!?!?

In the immediate aftermath of my Father's death, when my Mom felt like I wasn't doing enough she told my sister that I don't take care of her I take care of my wife. To which my response is, "No shit Sherlock." Apparently my Mom has forgotten that she and my Grandmother had similar pissing matches over whether or not my family came to visit her often enough and a whole host of other issues including who should sit in the front seat when my Mom, Dad, and Grandmother were in the car together.

Women in the audience who have sons, please do not engage in this kind of "Woe is me," horse shit when your son gets married it will cause him great pain. Married women, please be patient with your husband when your Mother-in-law goes for the psychological Cobra Clutch Backbreaker and reduces him to whimpering pile of neurosis.

Another soul will be joining our family this Summer. Naturally this means that the few moments I get for myself each week, will be reduced to approximately no moments for about six months after the new kid gets here. I knew this ahead of time, but I have to wonder if the last few months before my home is invaded by a screaming shit machine should be spent playing grab ass with my friends or doing home improvement projects that won't get done for several years if they don't happen now. There's also the fact that BabyRat is starting to show some interest in playing sports herself and if she has a game at the same time I have a game, I know I'm shit outta luck.

The last few years as I've adjusted to being a family man, I've felt like if I didn't keep playing rugby the little part of myself and my life that I keep just for me would wither and die. Now I know that piece of me will never go away; it might become infinitesimally small, it may never see the light of day, but it will always still be there. This is the life I chose for myself, I have no regrets and the joy that my family brings me makes up for the sacrifices I know I must make to do right by them a million times over.

If I choose to keep playing I know WifeRat will support me, but the question I continue to ask myself is: do I have anything left? I finished the Spring '08 season strong; I led the team to a tournament win playing tighthead prop for four games and scored four tries that day. Of course, the next week I got folded, spindled, and mutilated by a PAC team that was out for blood.

I'm not sure which of those guys was the real me. Was it the guy who limped off the field after getting destroyed by a Super League front row or was it the guy who showed the next generation of young bucks how you win a tournament? I guess I'll find out on Thursday night when I go to practice.

Yea Boooyyeee!!!!

2009-02-28T13:31:00.001-05:00

Home of the world's best chicken parm sandwich.

Street Closings for Tonight's Obama Address to Congress

2009-02-24T14:46:00.002-05:00

Thanks to DC institution Jason Cherkis for the timely information!

DCist also has the 411 for tonight's street closures, complete with map.

Oscar Predictions from MC RoboChrist

2009-02-21T20:11:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow's the big night and I just got MC RoboChrist's picks, so here they are.

Before I get to the predictions for some of the least dramatic races in years, quick reviews on two movies I saw this past week...

Revolutionary Road *** - Solid film, horribly depressing. Kate Winslet, while very good in The Reader, is actually better in this film. Odd that she got the nom for The Reader - and that could cost her. Leo is good - he's really one of the few great pretty boy actors. And they both get to ham it up suburban angst-style, a la Liz Taylor and Richard Burton in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. There are bits of this movie that are fascinating. Winslet's character - a June Cleaver mom miserable in suburban New York - descends slowly into quiet madness, scene by scene. It's really a great performance. Just as unsettling are her arguments with hubby Leo, which are frighteningly reflective of REAL marital dust-ups. And Michael Shannon is great as the institutionalized son of Leo and Kate's neighbors. He pops up in two scenes visiting Leo and Kate while on a day pass from the nut house. He instantly pegs just how miserable they are in the burbs - and being nuts, he isn't afraid to say it in brutal fashion. Best parts of the movie, actually, and an interesting ploy by the writer - personifying the crux of their unspoken anger so it can in fact be spoken. We also get to see the nice boobs on Leo's mistress - played by Elia Kazan's granddaughter! I'm sure he's proud. In the end, though, the fact that the suburbs weren't all Happy Days and Father Knows Best just isn't all that original. Cutting half an hour might have helped.

Man on Wire ** - I usually dig documentaries. But I kept waiting for this one to say more, and it never delivered. It's the story of Phillipe Petit, a tightrope walker who got his 15 minutes back in the mid-70s by setting up a wire between the WTC towers (with many accomplices) and doing a 45-minute circus act 101 stories high. That in itself is cool - and probably warrants a 30-minute piece on History Channel. But the filmmakers instead make Petit out as some sort of counter-revolutionary hero ... and it just bothered the fuck out of me. I'm not a law-and-order guy by any means, but I just did not like the guy. He was - and is - the kind of egotistical dick who manages to surround himself with people so enthralled by his charm that they'll do anything to make him happy, including putting their lives on hold for months to pull off an admittedly cool stunt (and get no thanks at all - he in fact broke up immediately with his girlfriend and stopped speaking to his best friend). The other problem - besides the movie's horrid pacing (again, there were really 30 minutes of good material here) - is that there is no mention of 9/11. Would seem to me that if you're going to do a movie about the guy that pulled this stunt, you need at least five minutes of what he and his team were thinking watching the towers fall - even if it's kind the self-indulgent bullshit I expect. "I was sad to see my greatest canvas go away forever" ... or something like that. Who knows - maybe the fact that I hated the guy by the end of the film was the point. But I was left bored and angry.

Okay, now for the picks. Again, I don't see much drama here, other than the Best Actor category. There will be a surprise somewhere - there always is - but this could be the year where the surprise is that there are NO surprises. On top of all this, Hugh Jackman is hosting. That ought to be a drag. Count on 2-3 useless musical numbers and a few jokes about how bad Australia was. Jon Stewart, he's not. Heck, I'd be happy with Whoopi or Billy Crystal. Oh well.

Best Picture: There is virtually no drama here, despite some recent momentum PR-wise for Milk. Hollywood wants to thank Bollywood for reminding us all we can be happy. And in a year of no great films - and in which the best film, Gran Torino, was overlooked - it's as much a lock as a movie has been since Lord of the Rings.
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who Should Win: Gran Torino
Who Should Win Among the Nominees: Frost/Nixon

Best Director: No drama here, either. And I can deal with Danny Boyle winning. I just think he's going to win for what is, at best, his third best film. Trainspotting and A Life Less Ordinary were great movies. Slumdog tries to be great and fails, largely because it's trying. Plus, I get the sense this film is good despite the direction. The story and editing really make it stand up.
Who Will Win: Danny Boyle, Slumdog
Who Should Win: Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino
Who Should Win Among the Nominees: Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon

Best Actor: There are two horse races in the major categories, and this is the tightest by far. Early on, everyone figured Mickey Rourke was a lock for The Wrestler. And he is very good. But the successful PR for Milk has been shifting the race toward Sean Penn for some time. In the end, I'm going with the notion that the Academy queens will not be able to stop themselves from writing the story - and reward Rourke's "career-redeeming performance" - rather that vote for the hammier, politically charged role (Penn) by an actor who has won before, and who would undoubtedly provide "the industry" with a satisfying FUCK YOU coda to the Bush presidency in his acceptance rant. In either case, I hope they both lose. I thought Richard Jenkins was great in The Visitor - he just didn't play the kind of ham role that wins Best Actor Oscars. Plus,he was great as the dad in Six Feet Under.
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Who Should Win: Richard Jenkins, The Visitor

Best Actress: Slight horse race here between Kate Winslet (The Reader) and Meryl Streep (Doubt). Streep could genuinely win an Oscar every time she acts. She's that good. (This is her record 15th nom.) And if she won, it probably wouldn't be a tremendous surprise, particularly since the Academy seems to have set Winslet up for another disappointment by a) shifting her role in The Reader to the leading category even though every other awards jag put it in the supporting category and b) nominating her for the lesser of two great performances. In the end, Streep has been suffering from "she's won before" syndrome for almost 30 years. And Winslet had a great year. Still, much as I lust for Ms. Winslet, I think the one who's really getting screwed is Melissa Leo, for her performance as the trailer park mom turned border smuggler in Frozen River.
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Who Should Win: Melissa Leo, Frozen River

Best Supporting Actor: This is such a lock I'm not going to spend more than a couple lines on it. Heath Ledger was FANTASTIC in Dark Knight. He took on a role that a three-time Oscar winner mailed in 20 years ago and delivered a classic. Add in the maudlin sentimentality of his death and it's impossible for the Academy not to vote for him. Again, they LOVE to write the story. (They never release the final vote, but if they did, I'd bet this will be the most lopsided of the major categories.)
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Who Should Win: Ledger

Best Supporting Actress: This is a mess since Winslet wasn't nominated here. I wouldn't be surprised by any of the nominees winning, but the prevailing wisdom (or lack thereof) is that Penelope Cruz is going to essentially get a Lifetime Achievement Award for playing the lunatic ex in Vicky Christina Barcelona. (Plus, remember that Hollywood's fave pedophile isn't Roman Polanski - it's Woody.) I'm cool with that. She's a good actress and has tremendous cans, to boot.
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Christina Barcelona
Who Should Win: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Who Should Win Among the Nominees: Cruz (there are just no stand-out performances here)

Best Original Screenplay: I really loved the writing for In Bruges (Martin McDonagh). His script is certainly the all-time leader for the most gratuitous uses of the word 'cunt' in a movie - award-worthy on its own. Interestingly, McDonagh won an Oscar for best short film three years ago. If voters remember that, he has no chance. As it is, with the PR for Milk really striking a chord, this is where the voters will DEFINITELY reward the film. Also, it's the only Best Pic nominee in this category.
Who Will Win: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Who Should Win: Martin McDonagh, In Bruges

Best Adapted Screenplay: The best thing about Slumdog was the writing, whether you loved the movie, as most people did, or just kinda liked it - like me.
Who Will Win: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog
Who Should Win: Beaufoy

Enjoy the boring show, all you pricks.

Spiritual Renewal, Pt. 2

2009-02-19T15:14:00.007-05:00

I meant to write this post on Monday, but I got laid the fuck out with the flu for a couple of days. [update] I've now been trying to finish this post for a week.

I left off talking about my slow slide into emotional oblivion regarding my father's death. I don't know that I've hit rock bottom with this thing yet, I'd like to think that I have, but it seems kind of unlikely based on what others have told me about dealing with the death of a parent.

I had been feeling shitty (not physically, emotionally) all last week, but the lone bright spot was that Ta-Nehisi Coates had a book signing coming up in College Park that I planned to attend. If you haven't read his book "The Beautiful Struggle" run, don't walk, to your nearest book store and pick up a copy. Just like I try not to be too hard on stupid motherfuckers, I also try not to sweat dudes too much that I think are cool, smart, tough, or whatever. I mean, no one wants to be a dick rider, right?

But rules are made to be broken, so here goes the one time you will catch me on someone's tip like this. I won't go so far as to say this is the best book that I've ever read or that it's my favorite book of all time; I'll need to read and re-read the book several more times before I'll be comfortable making that pronouncement, but this book did speak to me in a way that no other book I have ever read has.

In the same way that "Catcher in the Rye" has been a cultural touchstone for generations or "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" is practically required reading for teenagers, "The Beautiful Struggle" deserves a place in the pantheon of great American coming of age stories. "The Beautiful Struggle" is an instant classic, written in a unique style that seamlessly melds literature and hip-hop into a brilliant narrative about fathers, sons, and the journey from boy to man.

Needless to say, I was very excited to meet Ta-Nehisi at his book signing. When I arrived I saw Ta-Nehisi browsing through the store so I approached him and introduced myself. I shared all of the thoughts above with him and he seemed to be truly humbled and grateful that his book evoked such a strong reaction from me. As cool as it was to meet Ta-Nehisi, it was a total mind blower to meet his father, Mr. Paul Coates, who was there that evening. Even though I had only read the book a few months before I had forgotten how funny it was and it took on a whole new life when I heard its author reading it in his own voice.

BigDaddyRat was a man who loved to read and he shared that love with me, it was one of the many, many gifts he gave me over the course of our time together. In some ways, I guess my upbringing led me to (incorrectly) believe that I was the only young Black man out there that was into Sci-Fi, that liked to read, and saw no disconnect with those things and being Black. So in that context it was reassuring and comforting to be at that book signing, to know that "The Beautiful Struggle" spoke to others in the same that it spoke to me.

Being at Vertigo with some other Black men of letters was exactly what I needed that evening. It gave me a sense of spiritual renewal to feel, to know, that no matter how isolated I may feel or be at a given moment, that I'm a link in a chain.

I had a rough couple of weeks, but for the time being I'm on the upswing.

Spiritual Renewal, Pt. 1

2009-02-15T19:43:00.005-05:00

Since the Super Bowl, I've been drying out a bit; partly in sympathy with my pregnant wife and partly 'cause I had really been getting after it for the last couple of months. Like DC, Fargo is a hard drinking city. Out there it's rare to go to someone's home and not be offered a beer at pretty much any time of the day or night, I was very much at home out there. The drinking culture of Fargo combined with an intense desire to avoid my feelings about BigDaddyRat's death led me to "self medicate" as they say. It's not like I was walking around hammered all the time, but rare was the day when I didn't have a drink or five.

I knew that the full force of my Father's death wouldn't really hit me until we got back to DC. Even though I'm mostly convinced it was to my benefit, I'm still debating whether or not it's a good or bad thing that I was in Fargo when Dad died. Fargo was my own personal la-la land, a working vacation where I didn't have to deal with real life and could largely avoid my family and situations that would make me think of my Dad.

As I finished squeezing whatever residual buzz was still in my liver over the last couple of weeks I started feeling worse and worse. I haven't been getting shit done at work, I haven't been taking care of other shit I need to get done, and I've generally been kind of zoned out and quiet. I manage to muster up some chit-chat with other parents when I'm out at the park with BabyRat, but whenever I'm not directly engaged with someone I easily get lost in my own thoughts.

I've buried four grandparents and a few other relatives and family friends that I was varying degrees of close with, so I thought that I knew how to handle death pretty well. Even so, I found myself unprepared for the emotional weight of the sudden (and very unexpected) death of my Father. Thankfully the last time we saw each other we had shared a couple of laughs and told each other "I love you", but we still had some serious unfinished business between us that will now never be resolved.

Ever the generous spirit, Dad had started us down the road towards setting things straight with an off-hand remark not too long before we left for Fargo. I had meant to go have lunch with him before we left town, but when we kept having schedule conflicts I didn't make it a priority. I just assumed that we had all the time we needed to finally put all our bullshit to bed. So if anyone reading this has something they need to get right with their parents or anyone else in their life, I'm begging you DO IT NOW!!! Do not wait, do not assume that you will have an opportunity to get to it later because that may not be the case.

So the point of me telling you all of this, was that I've been feeling down the last couple of weeks. Not some melodramatic, "My father died and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life regretting XYZ," nonsense; but more like I'm just really bummed the fuck out that he's gone. I won't ever get to whip his monkey ass out on the golf course again, he won't get to meet my second kid, and we'll never get to work together again and get it right this time. I don't have regrets, but I'm wistful about the future that we had been envisioning for ourselves that's never going to come now.

This post was about the trip down, next post will be about heading back up again.

#2

2009-02-10T13:40:00.004-05:00

I think everyone who should know already knows so I can go ahead and post about this now, but WifeRat is pregnant again. We're all excited and happy to be adding to our family, especially BabyRat who is eagerly anticipating her new role as a big sister. WifeRat's baby bump is noticeable now and BR & myself spend a good part of each evening rubbing on it and telling "Sprinkle" (so named because that's how big the baby was, the size of a sprinkle, when we told BabyRat) how excited we are to meet them when they arrive the first week in July. I use a gender neutral "they" 'cause we keep it old school and don't find out the baby's sex until they're born.

I'm not a weird-o with a pregnancy fetish, but my wife is never so beautiful to me as she is when she's pregnant and aglow with the light of a new life inside her.

The life of a family man who is doing right by his fam is not an easy one. One of the advantages that men have over women is that we have the luxury of acknowledging our conflicting feelings about family life without being made to feel guilty about our occasional ambivalence. Unlike my wife, I have no problem saying, "Yo, shit is too hectic for me I'm going out with the fellas for a couple of cocktails tonight." I feel no shame for saying that my wife and kid are getting on my nerves and quite honestly I don't know why any woman would have a problem saying that either, but it seems like they do.

Right now I'm worried about what this second child is going to cost me. Not financially (I already know the answer to that: a fuckload), but in terms of how much of my life is left for me. Part of my feelings right now have to do with the time of the year. When rugby ends in the Fall sometime in early November, the holidays follow soon after, and then the NFL playoffs come right after that. The holidays and football provide me with some built-in excuses to go chill and get a couple of hours to myself every week, but once football season is over there's usually about 4-6 weeks before rugby starts up again where I'm just kind of stuck in the house all the time and tend to get a bit stir crazy. But there's more to it than just that right now.

I've got a pregnant wife, a three year-old who's getting ready to lose her status as the center of the universe, and a Mother who is grieving the loss of her husband of over 40 years. All of these people need me right now and they all need a lot from me, more than they usually do. I work hard for my family and to continue to work hard for them I need time and space to recharge my batteries, those things are in short supply these days. I feel as if I'm no one's priority right now; I'm getting ready to have a second kid and I'm still dealing with my Father's death, but that seems to pass by most of the people in my life almost without notice.

More Movie Reviews w/MC RoboChrist

2009-02-08T18:28:00.002-05:00

From an e-mail from MC RoboChrist

Ok, so I've finally seen what is probably the best movie of the year. While it isn't a classic and no one will be surprised by my choice, you gotta see this move.

Gran Torino - *** 1/2 - Clint does it again, falling just short of three late-era masterpieces (Million-Dollar Baby, Mystic River and Unforgiven) with a smart movie in the minimalist style of Million-Dollar Baby. If anything, that is its main failing - it's a bit TOO simple cinematically. There are maybe a half-dozen settings, and you get little sense of the town being a Chicago suburb, rather than, say, a New York or Boston suburb. ... But that's splitting hairs. The story is filled with the surprises Clint's been giving us ever since he stopped playing some version of Dirty Harry/Blondie (fun as that was) with Unforgiven. And unlike Unforgiven, where you think you knew what's coming at the end and were right, trust me - in this one, you don't. And you'll think about that ending for hours if not days after you leave the theatre. ... The true acid test was Mrs. RoboChrist, a non-Clint fan, who declared this her favorite film of the year before I had a chance to cast judgment. ... While the story could have been message-y (old white racist living in Asian neighborhood finds redemption), Clint never stops showing this character's racism - in some of the funniest dialogue he's ever uttered - in every scene, and at every race, right up to the finish. In deciding to defend his Asian next-door neighhors against a local gang, Clint isn't looking for redemption as much as he's acting on principle. That alone makes it the smartest, if not the best, film of the year. The world is not black and white, and neither is this story. Clint's character is a bad man with a few good qualities, not a bad man who becomes good. ... Somehow, Hollywood missed this one altogether. No nominations, which I attribute more to Clint's decision to cast (other than himself as lead) a no-name cast of largely minority characters. Fuck the Academy. Go see this movie.

Rachel Getting Married - **1/2 - Decent film, with the best attribute being a smart depiction of an addict in recovery by Anne Hathaway (surprisingly good). It avoids the Hollywood myth that addicts are either doomed to die miserably (Leaving Las Vegas) or instantly cured after the miracle program (Clean and Sober, 28 Days) - all of which presumes that the drug/drink itself it the addict's sole issue. Hathaway's character, set loose the weekend of her sister's wedding, battles not just the urge to drink or use, but her own immaturity and emotional baggage (including one REALLY large bag), the pressure of the wedding, and family members who each have major issues of their own. You know - reality, which Hollywood rarely does well. One scene - Hathaway makes 12-step style amends to her sister in front the entire family during her rehearsal dinner toast - is about the most uncomfortable thing I've seen in a movie. Throughout, you're left wondering not only if she's going to use again, which you expect at every turn, but whether she'll survive the weekend. The movie falls shorts, though, mainly because the director/writer either ran out of dialogue and usable footage or because the filmmakers fell in love with what was an admittedly cool soundtrack. Minutes at a time are spent watching the characters dance to and/or listen to the wedding band. It gets repititive and made me wonder if there were only 75 minutes of script, so they pushed the movie closer to 2 hours by adding music videos.

WALL-E - ** - Great animation, but the over-the-top message - oh, we are ruining the environment; oh, we're such lazy fucks! - was only slightly less insulting when Al Gore spewed it in An Inconvenient Truth. Thirty minutes in, I was bored. Plus, it wasn't funny. Unless they are billed as graphic novels or avant-garde animated horror, cartoons are supposed to make you laugh. Meh.

See Gran Torino, or eat a dick.

2009 SUMMER PROGRAMS FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

2009-02-07T13:00:00.005-05:00

I got an e-mail about this stuff from one of my uncles and I thought it may be of use to folks out there. Read more for all the details. -HR

FREE!! MIT announces its MITES Program, a challenging 6 week summer program that prepares promising rising seniors for careers in engineering and science. If you are selected, all educational, housing, meals and activity costs are covered. You must, however, pay for your own transportation to and from MIT. To apply, go to http://mit.edu/mites. Deadline is Feb. 2.

GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY Science & Engineering Apprenticeship program (summer) -Applications due: Feb. 27, 2009 - This program places academically talented H.S. students (at least 16 yrs old, sophomores/ juniors) with interest in science & math in Dept. of Defense laboratories for an 8-wk period over the summer. This is an invaluable experience in the world of scientific research, with hands-on exposure to scientific & engineering practices not available in the HS environment. It is a paid apprenticeship ($2,000) and the students are assigned a scientist or engineer as their mentor. To apply online or get more information about the program: http://www.usaeop.com/.

FREE!! Princeton University announces its Summer Journalism Program for low-income sophomores or juniors with at least a 3.5 GPA (on a 4.0 scale) who have an interest in journalism. The cost is free including travel costs to and from Princeton! Apply now! Go to www.princeton.edu/sjp. Deadline is Jan. 23. Please note: The deadline has been extended to February 20, 2009 (11:59 p.m.).

FREE!! The National Center for Health Marketing's Global Health Odyssey Museum is pleased to offer the 2009 CDC Disease Detective Camp (DDC). DDC is an academic day camp for students who will be high school juniors and seniors during the 2009-2010 school year. Campers will take on the roles of disease detectives and learn how CDC safeguards the nation's health. The camp will be offered twice from June 22-26 and July 13-17. For more info and to apply to go www.cdc.gov/gcc/exhibit/camp.htm. Deadline is April 20.

FREE!! The American Legion sponsors a week-long summer leadership program called Boys State. [Editor's Note: there is also a similar program called Girls State] This year's program will be held at McDaniel College in Westminster, Maryland from June 21-27. If you are a junior interested in a leadership opportunity see your guidance counselor right away for more information.

NASA sponsors the National Space Club Scholars Program, a 6 week summer internship at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center. It is open to students who will be 16 years old and have completed the 10th grade by June 2009, have demonstrated high academic success, and have an interest in space science or engineering as a career. Applicants must be U.S. citizens. Applications are available online at www.education.gsfc.nasa.gov/pages/placement.html Apply now! The application must be postmarked by February 17, 2009.

University of Maryland, College Park: Women in Engineering, E2@UMD, July 12-18 or July 19-25; rising juniors and seniors. Go to www.wie.umd.edu/precollege or call 301-405-3283 University of Maryland Young Scholars Program targets rising juniors and seniors who have a strong academic record and a desire to excel to experience college life while earning three academic credits. 14 courses are offered for three weeks from July 12 - 31, 2009. Visit www.ysp.umd.edu/pr.

CITY YEAR, WASHINGTON DC (Americorps) - Graduating seniors who are not sure what they want to do after high school should consider applying for a paid community service position with City Year, Washington, DC., a group of 17-24 year olds committed to full-time service for ten months in the Washington, DC community. Benefits include: living stipend ($200 per week), health care coverage, free metro pass, and $4,725 educational scholarship. For more info: http://www.cityyear.org/ or email: cmurphy@cityyear.org/dc or call: 202-776-7780, Amanda Seligman. Recruitment open houses will be held once a month at their headquarters: 918 U Street, NW, 2nd floor, Washington, DC 20001.

BOYCOTT THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS?

2009-02-07T09:37:00.003-05:00

Here's something else I received via e-mail from my man who holds it down six nights a week at the 18th Amendment. Yeah I've been posting a lot of stuff that's coming to through e-mail, but I was never down this stadium deal and having a lot of friends in the service industry this hits close to home. I haven't independently verified any of this, so there's my disclaimer. Read more for the scoop.

From an e-mail

If you follow the goings-on at National's Park, then by now you'll know that the Lerners have terminated its contract with Centerplate, the foodservice provider. As of January 31, dozens of good, hardworking people are now out of jobs, and are receiving no severance pay. The new food company, Levy Restaurants, will be the third concessionaire in three years to be brought in for food service.

What you probably don't know, is that Centerplate executives received a letter of termination on December 24,2008, for reasons that the Lerners "Want something different this season". Merry Fucking Christmas, right? The contract was extended until January 31, as events had been booked with Centerplate up to and on the 31. Per the Nationals, all food, equipment and employees had to be off the property by the end of the day. Employees working that day were expected to alternate between servicing the party, packing all supplies,cleaning up the areas used...and be ready to vacate the premises after the day was over; not exactly a realistic expectation is it?

As an added insult, the Nationals are now refusing to pay for all items on the asset inventory taken by Centerplate, of all items that had been purchased at the start of the season to be used for food service. These items are owned by Centerplate and it was agreed upon in the form of a legal document that the inventory would stay behind for use by the next company, and the Nationals would reimburse Centerplate in the form of a check. The amount owed is currently in the area of $2,000,000.

This is quickly becoming known as typical Lerner behavior. They just recently paid backrent for the entire 2008 year on the South Capitol Street stadium, after the District of Columbia threatened to seize the property for non-payment. Their reasons for not paying? The building "was not complete to their satisfaction". Construction crews and contractors worked around the clock to meet the March 29 deadline demanded by the Lerners (how many sides of their mouths do these people want to try and talk out of?), and in the process,did a rush job and cut more than a few corners.

The result is a blatant example of shoddy, haphazard work in the form of a structurally unsound building. Ask anyone who worked this past off season. Pipes bursting one after another, hood vents and heating units malfunctioning, refrigeration units being cut off, resulting in thousands of dollars in spoiled foods, and other problems too numerous to mention. This stadium was paid for by YOUR tax dollars: is it fair that your money was squandered in an attempt to improve the performance of one of the consistently worst teams in the MLBA? NO! Did the team improve after being given a new home? NO!

Have the Lerners paid rent this year so far? NO! Their attitude and behavior is a slap in the face towards not only the hardworking people responsible for the daily operations of National's Park, but also to the everyday taxpayer, and unfortunately to the baseball fans who supported this team from day one and are truly the ones deserving of the new stadium. Hardworking people who are trying to survive are being punished because a bunch of douchebags feel a sense of undeserved entitlement. WAKE UP D.C- THIS CAN'T CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoughts on Capital Punishment

2009-02-03T12:02:00.003-05:00

Here's the problem in the US, we have capital punishment but we kill the wrong people, in the wrong way, for the wrong things.

The Death Penalty is not a deterrent to gang bangin' accidental nihilists or people strung out on meth robbing liquor stores, those dummies are gonna do what they do heedless of the consequences. Naturally, I understand that if your loved one is senselessly killed in a robbery you think whoever did it should be put to death and I have trouble disagreeing with that sentiment. Idiots who kill because it's easier and quicker to pull a trigger rather than spend five minutes tying someone up probably deserve to die for being lazy and stupid.

Then there's the matter of how we go about putting people to death. A lethal injection 10 years after the fact that no one sees? BORING!! When executions go down usually all you ever see is people marching outside the prison talking about how the death penalty is inhumane, blah, blah, fucking blah and precious little talk about the victim and their family. Where is the spouse of the victim or their kids talking about recovering from the emotional and financial scars of having a family member killed? Just once I would like to see the victim's spouse/sibling/parent/child looking the killer right in the eyes as they throw the switch on the electric chair and tell them, "See you in Hell!"

But let's not kid ourselves, we value money more than we do human life in this country. If we didn't we wouldn't give corporations the same rights as people, but with none of the responsibilities or have insurance companies denying people coverage because they aren't a good risk. I'm complicit in all of this, I'm a capitalist that owns a condo with granite counter tops and shiny appliances, but I think we should update our criminal code to reflect what our true values are and make destroying shareholder value a capital offense.

Junkies and career criminals don't worry about the death penalty much, but I suspect that CEOs and other top level corporate execs might act a little more carefully if they knew a date with the executioner could be in the cards if they fuck up badly enough. We could set the bar high too, you have to destroy a billion dollars in shareholder value before a case even gets reviewed by the HillRat Star Chamber ®. If it's an honest mistake; new technology renders the company's primary product irrelevant, bad year for crops causes wild fluctuations in prices, judgment errors, etc.; you're off the hook and you may even be allowed to keep your golden parachute. For the most part that's what I would expect to find judgment errors.

However, in the case of accounting fraud and other kinds of shady shit that's kind of legal but ethically dubious, well that's a whole different story. The very top cut of corporate officers, (CEO, CFO, and COO) who profited from false earnings reports or other fraud or gross negligence that ultimately leads to a corporate meltdown that cost shareholders more than $1B, would become eligible for the death penalty.

Executions would be vastly different too, no sanitized room where you get strapped down to a gurney to meet your maker. I'm talking about sending in MOB Six to their gated communities, where these thieving motherfuckers would be snatched up and killed in front of their families live on pay-per-view. Or maybe we could get all Running Man (the book, not the movie) and see how far one of these coddled jerkoffs gets with a few grand, his wits, and every person in the country calling a tip line to get themselves paid and to see the dude killed live without having to buy the PPV.

Now that's change I can believe in!

Oscar Talk with MC RoboChrist

2009-02-02T10:35:00.005-05:00

MC RoboChrist is a long time friend of mine and an embittered former sports reporter who sold his soul by becoming a PR hack. RoboChrist is also a bit of an obsessive movie geek and every year around this time he spends countless hours watching movies and writing about the Oscar race. His movie reviews and breakdown of the Oscar race are too funny and entertaining for me and the rest of our friends to keep all to ourselves. For the remainder of the "awards season" I'll be posting lightly edited versions of RoboChrist's various rants about the movies. When I say lightly edited, that means I'll be removing people's names and maybe adding a hyperlink or two when applicable. -HR

Taken from an e-mail by MC RoboChrist

The dance may be a tradition, but most Indian movies I've seen are comedies or musicals, so it fits. This time it was out of place. In a movie [Slumdog Millionaire, ed.] that contains scenes SPOILER ALERT in which a little boy's eyes are boiled out of his head with hot oil, numerous characters meet grisly ends, and a gorgeous woman is disfigured, the happy dance was as appropriate as making Schindler's List a musical.

This movie will win Best Pic, and a lot more Oscars. It is very good, but I don't think it is a classic. It's great for international cinema that a non-Hollywood/London film is going to win, but I think that's one of the reasons it will win (voters love to write the news story) -- along with the fact that the other four contenders aren't classics either. As I said, Slumdog comes close - it is very well-shot, well-acted and well-written - but it didn't grab me as much it has grabbed others.

Saw Milk last night. Three stars, mainly due to Sean Penn's chameleon act as doomed SF Supe/gay activist Harvey Milk. Penn may a tremendous asshole, but he continues to improve as an actor. It's really hard to name five actors as consistently good as him on the planet. Seymour Hoffman, Downey Jr., Clint, O'Toole ... that might be it. And unlike Clint and O'Toole, you always forget it's Sean Penn. That's how good he is. He might snatch the Oscar from Mickey Rourke, which would be fine by me b/c the weeks-long steroids/drug/alcohol rage that would elicit from Rourke would be better than any 'I've been to the edge' acceptance speech Rourke would give. Plus, Penn is bound to put the unnecessary Hollywood fuck-you coda on the Bush presidency in his speech, and I don't think the voters can resist that.

Others I've seen:

Changeling - *** - Okay, so I've got wood for Clint (director here) - long-established fact. But take my word, this is a good movie. It is not a classic along the lines of Mystic River, Unforgiven or Million-Dollar Baby. But it's very well done. Angelina Jolie plays the real-life mom facing the dual horror of a kidnapped child and a corrupt police force (LA) trying to pawn off ANOTHER kid to her as a replacement so they can close the case and get good PR. Like Mr. Penn, Jolie's a cunt in real life. But she can act - and Clint once again proves he can get the best out of cunts (Penn, Jolie, Robbins, Streep). And as is typical of late-model Clint films, it's well shot, the casting is perfect, it's a got a nice score, and it moves along well. No dead parts.

In Bruges - ***1/2 - This is my new favorite film of the year. It's a farce about low-end London thugs hiding out in a Belgian tourist trap that includes some of the best dialogue I've seen on film outside of a Coen Bros. movie in ages,and a script that is worth a second view. Watch the film VERY closely. British humor rules. And while Colin Farrell (who won a Golden Globe for this role) and Brendan Gleeson are great, Ralph Fiennes steals the movie in the last 30 minutes as their insane boss done wrong. His over-the-top Cockney accent reminds me of Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast (another great performance -- and actually you can add Kingsley and Fiennes to that list of great actors who always deliver in diverse roles.) While billed as a comedy, it's got enough blood and gore to make Mr. Steaks fill his pants -- and a tender side that'll make your date fill a Kleenex or two. Add in midgets, coke and whores and I cannot understand how this film scored just a single nom (Screenplay).

The Reader - *** - Lots of nekkid Katie Dub, which I already said is worth a star on its own. They ugly her up for the movie - plus she ages over time - but it's still a visual feast. Still, the film's a tad long and plodding. Kinda tough to get into a Holocaust picture that doesn't actually take place DURING the Holocaust (but rather in a) post-War Germany and b) a courtroom). And the basic point of the script - that it is less embarrassing to admit you let a pack of Jews burn in a Church than to acknowledge you could not have committed the crime BECAUSE YOU ARE ILLITERATE! seems a bit hard to grasp. Ralph Fiennes shows up again , playing the aged version of Kate's post-War teen-age lover. It's a different and yet still perfectly acted role than the ones he played in In Bruges or The Duchess.

Doubt - **1/2 - There's a very interesting race for Best Actress shaping up between Kate W. and Meryl Streep, who is so fucking mean in this movie you want to jump into the screen and punch her in the crotch. In all of the other major award competitions, Winslet's role was listed as Supporting Actress (and she won everything). For whatever reason, the Academy nominated her for Best Actress. Not only did this DQ her performance in Revolutionary Road (by Academy rules you can only be nominated for one performance per category in the acting races), but it turns what was a slam-dunk win in the Supporting category into a horse race with the best actress ever. Someone's getting fucked here. At any rate, the acting in this movie was great, but the direction blew. It did not translate to the screen. It was just a filmed play. Great acting. Bad direction. Think I wrote about that already. Apparently this guy's only previous feature was Joe vs. the Volcano. Explains a lot. (BTW, with Winslet out of the Supporting category, two actresses in this film - Amy Adams and Viola Davis - could end us an beneficiaries, especially if voters picking Winslet for Best Actress are looking for a way to give Doubt an Oscar. Davis is in two scenes - both with Streep - and holds her own. That alone is worthy of an award. Adams, as the mousy nun/teacher whose vivid imagination sends Streep on a witch hunt, continues her run of great performances by an actress who could be (but isn't) a box-office star if she chose shittier roles.

The Wrestler - **1/2 - This movie hinges entirely on Rourke's so-called resurrection. He is in every scene, so if you don't like him, you won't like the movie. It's got a few other bonuses, including an oft-naked Marisa Tomei (looking GREAT at 44), but this is mostly about Rourke. The fact that he's playing a has-been adds to the life imitating art bullshit that has Hollywood jerking off over him. Rourke is VERY good. The movie is good - again, really nothing else going on besides Rourke's acting and a cool '80s hair metal soundtrack For rasslin' fans, there's plenty of good ol' fashioned blood bouts. Staple guns!

Still on my list:
Rev. Rd.
WALL-E (somehow I missed this despite having three kids)
Happy Go Lucky
Rachel's Getting Married
Frozen River
Gran Torino
Taken
Defiance

BBQ With the Monkey

2009-02-01T00:55:00.005-05:00

So yesterday after seeing Monkeyrotica's tweet I got a direct tweet from NylonThread (aka Mrs. Monkeyrotica) inviting me and the family to a BBQ over at their crib. We (the Monkeys and Rats) had been trying to get together in meatspace since we got back from the Hinterlands and finally our schedules cooperated.

After BabyRat's nap WifeRat said she had to shower and whatnot before she could go anywhere. Once you've been married for a few years you get pretty good at reading the signals your partner is giving you, and this was a clear signal that WifeRat wasn't really that into going. While the wife is very supportive of my blogging, she finds it strange that I have been developing friends and friendships in a strictly online setting.

I'm the social butterfly of the family and the "outside" parent. I'm the one that goes to 90% of the birthday parties with BabyRat, takes her to the park, and (now) sporting events. So it's not unusual for BabyRat and I to attend social engagements and leave the wife at home, which is what we decided to do.

When we arrived at Casa de Monkeyrotica the party was just getting started, we were greeted at the door by NylonThread and introduced to the two couples who were already there chillin'. The little Monkeys (ages 6 and 3) were downstairs watching "Wall-E" and we took BabyRat down to introduce her, but they were in a TV coma in front of a 120" projection setup and BabyRat was doing her shy bit so she came back upstairs with me.

As I suspected, the Monkeys and their friends were my kind of people. The crowd was in equal measures literate and profane, polite and sarcastic, gourmet and gourmand.

For a couple of years I've been stalking Monkeyrotica in the comments section at DCist and knew that we shared a deep appreciation for good food in whatever form it takes. Monkey often tweets about where and what he's eating and/or cooking, so I was really looking forward to sampling his food. Let me tell you son, it was as good as I thought it would be, perhaps better. We gorged ourselves on Monkeyrotica's insanely delicious BBQ offerings of Texas style brisket, North Cacalacky style pulled pork shoulder, and Memphis style ribs. He also hooked up some mustard and turnip greens cooked in chardonnay, charra beans, vinegar slaw, and some mac & cheese that was good, but not as good as mine.

BabyRat and the little Monkeys didn't really start playing until after they got done watching "Spiderman 2." The movie was a little intense for BabyRat and she was up and down out of the basement (more up than down) several times during the course of the movie, but once they started playing dress up it was like they had known each other for years. BabyRat even went so far as to invite the little Monkeys to her birthday party in March.

We had a great time and were sent home with a huge "meat bag" containing all manner of savory delights. I look forward to partying with the Monkeyrotica family soon.

On Blast: Hill Rat's "On Blast"

2009-01-29T15:37:00.003-05:00

A weak concept coupled with poor execution equals lameness.

As I stated at the outset, this idea for a weekly "column" was an experiment and one that I'm not sure I'm going to continue. Limiting myself to spewing bile only once a week hasn't worked out the way I thought it would. I'm not that great at jotting down an idea and saving it for later so, even though I've had some good ideas for this column, by the time I get around to sitting down to write those great ideas have often left my brain. I'm also not digging the idea that I need to sit down and find something to be pissed off about every Thursday. I spend enough of my life annoyed as it is, I don't need to dedicate a day to it every week.

More on Ludlow-Taylor

2009-01-24T16:37:00.005-05:00

After my last blog post on Ludlow-Taylor ES I had a commenter say: "You've been hood-winked at a dog-and-pony-show. The school was/is in a panic over this blog."

Aww, you're making me blush. I have to admit, the idea that I've got them scrambling over at Ludlow-Taylor is a huge boost to my ego but I'm not sure that's the case. I'm a skeptic and cynic by nature and, given the short time lag between the two events, I have a hard time believing that the open house last week was in any way related to my blog post about LTES. Maybe knowing that someone out there was paying attention made the folks at LTES up the level of spit & polish (handouts were on colored paper and snacks were served) on the evening, but I doubt they went out and compiled achievement stats just for my benefit.

Sporting Debut

2009-01-24T07:33:00.002-05:00

It's Saturday morning, BabyRat is having her second piece of fruit, the Backyardigans are on the TV, WifeRat is making oatmeal, and in two and a half hours my daughter will participate in her first (kind of) organized sporting event.

Earlier this week I signed BabyRat up for soccer. After getting a new rugby ball and calendar of the U.S. Women's Rugby 7's team last week, BR was all hyped up to play rugby. I had to explain to her that there was no rugby for kids her age (6 is the cutoff) in this area and asked if she wanted to play soccer. I got a very enthusiastic positive response from BR and so the next day I signed her up online.

I think I'm just as excited as she is.

Ludlow_Taylor Revisited

2009-01-22T11:49:00.009-05:00

I have to say, I wasn't expecting much from this open house at Ludlow-Taylor Elementary School last night. I'm already on record with a strong opinion of both the school and its principal. I got a link to that post from DCist that spiked my hits up to an all time high of 125 in one day! I found that out through the magic of Google Analytics.

I was definitely much less than complimentary in my post and I stand by what I wrote. However as I continue to write about my experiences with finding a public school for my child I find that I'm, thinking of myself and, acting as a citizen-journalist. Which leads me to wonder if claiming that title for myself obligates me in any way? I believe that it does, so here's what I owe you: the truth.

The truth is that I'm not a journalist, I've never taken a journalism class, or wrote for the school newspaper or anything like it. I have no idea what the basic tenets of journalism are supposed to be, I know there's some bullshit myth about objectivity but I can't even pretend I'm giving an unbiased view. Nevertheless, here I am gathering intel and disseminating it to all who care to look.

I'm a Dad who's trying to ensure that his child gets the best education possible, I want everything and then some for my kid. If I don't have to spend $25K every year on tuition for a three year old then our family is free do things like give more to charity, travel, and save for college . . . when I expected to have to pay for school.

But my stake in this is not just financial, it's about what kind of world do I want to leave for my child? Not to get too dramatic, but the decision to forgo public school for the time being was one that I made with great sadness. I always went to public schools (including both colleges, state schools) and I take some pride in the fact that I represent public schools well. MommaRat is a proud graduate of DCPS and I hoped that her namesake (BabyRat and MommaRat share a middle name) would be the same. I know far too many brilliant, educated, accomplished people who went to DCPS, and just as many stunningly average folks who went to "elite" private schools, to believe that there is no value to be found in a DCPS education.

I believe in public schools and want to do what I can to ensure that they remain a viable and venerated part of American life. I'm grateful that I have options, but it doesn't change the fact that I know I'm part of the problem with public education because rather than staying and fighting I'm just throwing money at the problem to make it go away for me and my family. It's not that I'm not willing to work towards better public schools, but for right now (the next 8-9 months) this isn't a fight worth having. I've decided that discretion is the better part of valor and retreated to a Montessori school while we continue to gather information, prepare for the school lotteries for the 2009-2010 school year, and reload for the next battle in the war to educate my child.

So with all that said, my prejudices and motivations laid bare for all to see, I continue my story.

Word 'round the campfire was that Principal Cobbs wasn't really into doing a, "dog and pony show" at this open house. Which makes what happened all the more surprising. I arrived at the evening open house about 15 minutes after it started due to hellacious crosstown traffic on my way home. There were only about a half dozen other parents there, the two men that were there introduced themselves and we started not too long after that. Some of the other people there seemed to know each other (I recognized several members of the group Friends of Ludlow-Tayor) and I sat down at a table by myself when the presentation began.

Principal Cobbs started by going around the room and having each person there introduce themselves. I was surprised that she remembered my daughter's name when my turn to speak came. Ms. Cobbs launched into a detailed introduction of herself, talking about her background in education, her family, and the fact that she recently lost her father.

As someone who also recently lost his own father, my heart immediately went out to her and I began to wonder if I had rushed to a hasty misjudgment. I've been lucky enough to be able to keep my bad days and grief-stricken moments out of public view, but the principal of an elementary school isn't necessarily that lucky. Perhaps when Swiss Family Rat bum rushed LTES the day Christmas vacation ended, she was at the beginning of a bad day.

When she first got up in front of the group Principal Cobbs was hesitant and used a lot of verbal pauses when she spoke. But as she continued to speak, Principal Cobbs got more comfortable and started speaking with more poise and taking command of the room as she spoke about the professional development room that we were sitting in.

The difference between the seemingly indifferent administrative drone I met three weeks ago and the enthusiastic, dynamic educator presenting an optimistic and challenging vision for LTES couldn't have been more stunning to me. Moving smoothly through a PowerPoint presentation Principal Cobbs was charming and friendly while she laid out her educational philosophy.

LTES is only at about 50% of the capacity of the building, so there is a constant drive to improve enrollment numbers. The previous principal of LTES, Dr. Presswood, had a Phd in Special Education so he had increased the number of special education students to keep numbers up. Now it seems that Chancellor Rhee and Principal Cobbs have decided to move their focus away from special education and are concentrating on attracting more families in the neighborhood. During this time Principal Cobbs spoke with a rarely heard candor about the demographic makeup of the school and the issue of diversity.

While all this was going on I started looking through the materials that were laid out around the room. There were teacher bios, feedback forms, daily schedule breakdowns, detailed information on the 3-4 classroom and after school program, and e-mail addresses for the principal and the 3-4 classroom teacher. This was exactly the information that we had been looking for a month ago before we got back to DC!!

Now I'm totally fucking confused. On one hand I'm pleased to see that LTES isn't the black hole of confusion and apathy that it appeared to be during our initial interactions. OTOH I'm annoyed that basically everything I was previously asking for was obviously available in electronic form and could have easily been sent to me via e-mail in, literally, one minute. I don't know who's fault that is, but it's easily fixed; put all these docs in a zip file and as soon as a parent calls up, get their e-mail address, send them the file, and follow up with them via e-mail a week later. If the person doesn't have e-mail access take their address and send them hard copies. Is that so hard?

By now Principal Cobbs has made it through her initial spiel telling us about the tour of the school that's to come and yields the floor to the after school care coordinator and dashes out of the room to go deal with a lost kid. I was pleased to learn that there is a dedicated after school care teacher who hasn't been teaching all day. Ms. Harte (after school care coordinator) was energetic and said all the right things about not wanting after school care to just be babysitting. It was right in the middle of her presentation that I had to leave to go get BabyRat from her after care program.

The strong showing by Principal Cobbs and her staff at the little slice of the open house that I attended has confused the issue of where should BabyRat go to school more than ever. The school lotteries and shit start in like another week, so check back and I'll keep you posted on what I'm doing and where you may be able to find information you may need.

MLK/Inaugural Excitement In My Hood

2009-01-19T13:12:00.003-05:00

I spent large portions of Saturday and Sunday with my Mom, doing stuff that my late Father would have otherwise been doing. Assembling bed frames, driving her to the commissary, and hauling stuff to and from the storage area in their (her?) building. Saturday I took BabyRat with me to Mom's condo in Alexandria and gave WifeRat a much needed few hours at home alone and yesterday I went by myself. During all this driving around I was stunned to notice that traffic wasn't nearly as bad as usual. Even coming home over the 14th St. Bridge at about 1600hrs yesterday with the 14th St. and Maine Ave exits closed, the only reason there was a slight backup was the usual problem of idiots not knowing how to drive and getting into a fender bender. We have to go back to Mom's again today for dinner again tonight but, based on the last two days, I'm confident that we won't have any major problems driving in or out.

Because I've been busy with Mom, I haven't gone to any inauguration events. WifeRat somehow didn't know about the concert at the Lincoln Memorial yesterday and I had no interest in going. As it turns out the inauguration came to us this morning.

On our way to Sidamo this morning, we saw some cops blocking off a section of F St. NE between 10th and 11th streets. When we asked the DCPD officer what was up she told us that there was "a situation" and we should go about our business. I thought her answer was a little strange because there was a big ass satellite truck parked right behind the Sasha Bruce Center, but we went about our business. On our way home we found out what the "situation" was: President-elect Obama was doing some volunteer work at the SBY Shelter. We stood around for about five minutes before Obama came out and the crowd of about 200 people broke into chants of "Yes we can, yes we can."

On Blast: Dog Owners Who Don't Clean Up

2009-01-15T10:34:00.005-05:00

What kind of selfish, inconsiderate human being would leave their dog's shit around for you to step in? A big part of the reason I don't have a dog is that I don't want to deal with dog shit; cleaning it up, throwing it away, or even thinking about it.

As you may already suspect, this post is about one specific dog owner. It's a guy that lives in my building who owns a 130+ pound Rottweiler, this dog eats large amounts of food and takes large dumps all over the decent sized back yard of our building. This dog owner, along with his wife, swear that they clean up all of their dog's shit and that any dog shit I see in the yard must have been left by some other dog owner.

Now this claim of theirs isn't entirely without merit. We have a yard that's five yards deep and runs the length of the building (which is about thirty yards long) and is fenced in along the back side. Over the years I've definitely caught some people running their dogs in our yard and one morning a few years back some asshole's dog jumped up on me with muddy paws onto a clean white shirt when I was leaving for work one day. Which means that it's not entirely implausible that at least some of the errant dog shit in my yard comes from some other inconsiderate dickhead's dog. Problem is that a 130+ pound dog takes uniquely huge dumps and most of the "unclaimed freight" in our yard is of the large variety. So unless a half dozen different Rottweiler owners are letting their dogs poop in my yard, I feel pretty safe saying this sloppy moron (and his equally dopey old lady) is falling down on the job.

His sloth and immaturity comes at the expense of everyone else in our building who can't use their back yard because it's a dog shit mine field. Yeah sure sometimes this lazy douche will thoroughly clean the yard before a Summer holiday weekend, but only because he doesn't wanna step in his dog's crap either. We have a unique situation that, aside from individuals in the building constantly hassling this creep, renders us unable to effectively sanction this guy short of going thermonuclear and throwing him out of the building. That may well happen anyway, but not because of the dog shit but because this guys handles everything like he handles his dog: poorly.

Type rest of the post here

Ludlow-Taylor Open House, 1/21/2009, 9:00 am

2009-01-15T09:56:00.003-05:00

Title: Ludlow-Taylor Open House

Date: Wednesday January 21, 2009

Time: 9:00 am - 11:00 am

Location: Ludlow-Taylor

Notes: Meet Ludlow-Taylor teachers and staff, see school facilities
(like the renovated library), visit classrooms, and learn more about Ludlow-Taylor's programs. Come hear about the good things already underway and the school's plans for the future.

The school will also be open for prospective parents from 4:30 - 6:00 on the 21st.

Well Dressed Burrito

2009-01-12T13:35:00.005-05:00

All last week I was getting the royal treatment with WifeRat and BabyRat chauffeuring me back and forth to work each day. Today WifeRat is back at work, BabyRat started at a new school, and I went back to being one of those people who live and work in the city but drives anyway. It's not really my fault though, I had to drop off the palette of supplies (two changes of clothing, backpack, bedroll, etc.) you have to have for a three year-old starting at a new school and drop off time at this new place is later too.

Even with all of that, the real reason I drive is that I get reimbursed for my parking by Death Star, Inc. It's a very minor perq (really the only one that I get) but it does allow me to easily jet out to handle errands at lunch and indulge my passion for treating myself to great lunches. Lunch time during the work day is one of the few moments where I actually get to seriously consider what it is I want to do. Sometimes I "have to" go eat with my boss or co-workers but more often than not, I get do what I wanna do for lunch.

So today I took the opportunity to go to "The Well Dressed Burrito." A lot has been written about the place, but I had to go see for myself what the hub-bub was about.

Not having any meaningful connection to Mexican or Tex-Mex food past in-laws that live in Houston, I don't have any strong feelings about burritos (or tacos) or what they should or should not include. I have heard foodie types decry the blasphemy of Taco Bell tacos, calling them inauthentic and anglicized. I happen to love Taco Bell tacos, they're what I think of when some one says "taco"; hard shell, ground beef, cheese, and lettuce. So if you're some sort of burrito purist you should probably stop reading now. My requirements for Mexican or Tex-Mex are simple; flavorful ingredients and a bit of spice, a pretty low hurdle to clear.

Today's special burrito was Chicken Tenders with Cilantro Vinaigrette, Red Onions, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese and Rice. The vinaigrette provided a nice bit of tang to the proceedings that was complimented by the sweetness of the red onions. The chicken tenders were large and properly cooked, you could easily bite through one without turning your burrito into a sloppy mess. Overall I would say that it was a tasty and unusually flavored burrito, pretty good but nothing that's going to inspire the kind of endless love that I have for places like Deli City or Mangialardo's.

On Blast: Ludlow-Taylor ES

2009-01-08T09:51:00.006-05:00

I'm experimenting with a new, regular column called "On Blast." This will be a weekly rant column published on Thursdays where I go off about some person, place, or thing that has angered me over the last week and put them on blast. Be warned, there will lots of profanity and wishes for the painful and complete annihilation of the object of my ire. The hope is that this will keep the invective out my regular blog posts.

As regular readers of this blog know, since about this time last year WifeRat and I have been trying to figure out where to send BabyRat to school. During this time I have attended various open houses, community meetings, and PTA Meetings in an attempt to find a scholastic home for our daughter.

Rather than apply to a school and potentially take a spot from a student who would be in school for the entire 2008-2009 school year, our search for a school was temporarily placed on hold while we were on our six month trip to the Fargo-Moorhead area. We were lucky enough to find a wonderful Montessori school in Moorhead that BabyRat attended for the six months we were out of town.

Ever mindful of the clusterfuck that is DCPS, rather than calling some sort of central administration office, we started calling Ludlow-Taylor ES (LTES) early in the month of December to get some more information about the 3 year-old program available at the school and to find out exactly what needed to be done to enroll BabyRat. A conservative estimate is that we called the principal of LTES a dozen times over the course of a few weeks and were unable to ever get her on the phone. We tried calling first thing in the morning, at lunch time, and after the school day was over to no avail. We left messages over and over again, we asked the people who did answer the phone when was the best time to call and followed their suggestions but couldn't ever get the elusive Principal Cobbs on the phone.

I have numerous friends who are or were public school teachers in a variety of locales around the country, so I understand that the very nature of an elementary school is that it is a hectic place with a never ending stream of small fires that have to be put out. Every teacher and administrator's focus should be on the students within the school walls, perhaps to the exclusion of all other concerns. But am I expecting too much to think that some time over the course of the month that a principal can find ten minutes to return one of a dozen messages left for them?

I honestly wasn't expecting much and would have been satisfied if Principal Cobbs (or one of her staff members) had simply called back to say that they would prefer that we came in and talked face to face. I could have lived with it if someone from the school directed us to a website or other resource where we could find all the necessary forms and information we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS. Instead we got a whole bunch of nothing except for one conversation I had with the Kindergarten Special Ed teacher who gave me a brief outline of what the 3-4 year old class does over the course of the day.

This past Friday we stopped by LTES to see if anyone was around and did find the school's business manager hard at work. When I introduced myself, the business manager immediately recognized my name and informed me that my messages had been getting passed on to Principal Cobbs. The business manager was very helpful and was able to track down and give us copies of all the forms we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS.

My first question is, given the enormous administrative overhead of DCPS as a system and the individual school at LTES, why isn't there a standardized enrollment packet for students entering DCPS? All of the forms are actually available online, but the enrollment checklist on the DCPS website makes no mention whatsoever of the School Health Requirement Packet!! The mind boggles at such a ludicrous and obvious oversight.

Now we have all the forms we need to get BabyRat into the potential destroying maw of DCPS. WifeRat diligently spends a couple of hours filling out the forms and pawing through boxes trying to find the necessary records over the weekend. We head to LTES on Monday morning before the school actually opens to students to see if we can finally get an audience with the oft spoken of, never heard from, Principal Cobbs.

Finally, at long last, we are granted an appearance with the Wizard of LTES. Even though I'm a large and loud guy, my basic nature is to avoid confrontation but I'm so incensed about the lack of communication that I immediately ask Principal Cobbs why she never called back. Rather than bothering to introduce herself or apologizing or accepting any kind of responsibility for a missed connection, Principal Cobbs gave me a pallid look and says that she's never heard my name. I know that I can't afford to piss off the Principal (in the first five minutes we meet) at a school my kid is attending, so I have to let the shit go. I move to the business at hand and quickly lay out our situation and ask if we can observe the 3-4 year old classroom.

Observing the 3-4 year old class was the highlight of our visit to LTES. The teacher, Ms. Johnson, was energetic, enthusiastic, and engaged with her students. The kids started off the day with "circle time" (something they also do at Montessori schools) and BabyRat was allowed to participate. Ms. Johnson displayed the kind of poise and kindness that you want to see in an early childhood educator; she was firm and warm, inviting but in control, all at the same time. While we were in the classroom, we had occasion to speak to the Mother of a new student who had pulled her kid out of a charter school in favor of LTES.

Eventually we decided that we had seen enough and left the classroom to talk to the school nurse about what, if any problems, there were with BabyRat's health records. We get the runaround from the nurse about exactly what we have to do before BabyRat can start school (there's s dental requirements that the school principal has some discretion on) and go back to the office to wait for Principal Cobbs to show up again.

Before I continue, allow me to recount Principal Cobbs' shameful performance in the school cafeteria in leading the Pledge of Allegiance. It was clear to me that the kids (and the teachers) at the school have little respect or affection for Principal Cobbs. Back in the day (yes, I'm old timing now) when we had our weekly assembly or whatever and the principal stepped in front of the assembled masses, we shut the fuck up without being told. If there ever was a need for the principal to do something to get our attention, not much more than a simple clearing of the throat was needed to render the room silent. Principal Cobbs seemed unable to command even a modicum of order in the cafeteria and simply relied on the PA system to overwhelm the noise in the room while she cajoled a couple of older kids into leading a, not even, half-hearted recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance.

While I was waiting around for Principal Cobbs, BabyRat was in the gym with the class we had just been observing. During that time she had to go to the bathroom and WifeRat reported that they were UNSAT. You would think that after the school had been closed for the last two weeks that the bathrooms would be, if not clean, at least not gross. Realizing that Principal Cobbs wasn't showing up any time soon, we finally left the school. As soon as we were out the door WifeRat told me that she didn't want to send BabyRat to LTES and I agreed.

It wasn't any one thing that was wrong that was a deal breaker, but it was a death by a thousand cuts kind of thing. The accumulation of minor issues demonstrated a lack of attention to detail and a failure of leadership that I attribute to Principal Cobbs. I could go on, but anything I say now would just be gratuitous 'cause you get the point.

We're Back

2009-01-02T17:23:00.005-05:00

Ugh! 1500 miles pulling a trailer is no joke, and the real dagger is that it's sandwiched with loading and unloading said trailer. Still it was a pretty mellow trip back across the country. On the way out to Fargo we took four days to drive out and we did the drive back, along a slightly longer route so we could avoid Chicago and its traffic, in three days with your faithful narrator under the wheel the entire time. The only thing really noteworthy about the trip back was that both nights there was a problem at the hotel.

The first night we stayed at a newly renovated Marriott in Cedar Rapids. When I got to the hotel at 9pm I was pleased; the staff was nice and the pool was open until 11pm. The pool being open late is key because you have to do something to wear out a three year-old that's been sitting in the car and watching "The Bee Movie" all day. I was much less pleased when I turned down the bed to lotion up BabyRat after her bath and there were visible stains on the sheets. Blarrrgh!

Needless to say we changed rooms, but nasty sheets is a violation of the basic agreement between innkeeper and traveler. You expect that shit at an hourly motel off of Rt. 1 somewhere, but not at a Marriott in Iowa. Having seen BigDaddyRat issue verbal beatdowns to hotel desk staffs around the globe, I knew that I would get something if I went down and complained but I wasn't sure what. After consuming a large room service breakfast I went to the front desk and laid out the scenario, they gave many profuse apologies and offered to buy our breakfast. Not being a greedy skinflint, I didn't push my luck and accepted the offer but later regretted letting them off the hook too easily.

The next night we stayed in the thriving metropolis of Dayton, OH at a Holiday Inn that had allegedly won some sort of "qualitly" award according to the guy I talked to on the phone. When I made the reservation I was pretty clear that I wanted to stay at a nice hotel and I was assured that it was. Call me crazy, but when I say a "nice hotel" I think that implies that it's not located next door to a strip club like the one our reservation was at in Dayton. But by the time we get there it's already after 8pm and I don't feel like driving around Dayton looking for a better hotel so we stayed. After BR went to sleep we tried to watch TV but the it wouldn't turn on and they also totally fucked up our breakfast order.

After eating a throughly unsatifying meal, I strolled over to the front desk at check out time and registered my complaints. Fresh off of having punked myself the day before I was determined to cut a better deal for myself this go 'round. So this time I graciously accepted their offer to buy our breakfast, but I continued to press the issue and got 50% off of our room for the night.

Another day on the road and naturally we made it back to Metro DC just in time to get stuck on the fucking Beltway at rush hour trying to get over the Legion Bridge. I spent more time stuck in traffic trying to cross the Legion bridge that day than I did the entire time I was in Fargo, no joke.

Once we made it back to the safe confines of the Rat's Nest on Capitol Hill I soothed myself (and the family) with an application of ribs, chicken, and collards from Kenny's Smoke House. Deliciousness shoots and scores!!

Over the next few days I bamboozled a couple of my teammates into helping me unload our trailer (thanks again Skip and Coach) and mostly concentrated on stuffing myself with as much of DC's local flavor as my stomach could stand. I've been to Sova, Peregrine, and Sidamo for coffee and we've eaten at Sticky Rice, the new Matchbox, and Taylor (twice) since we've been back home.

I am in love with Taylor. There are precious few places to get good sandwiches (Deli City and Mangialardo's) in DC, but they tend to adhere to that weird DC phenomenon of closing at 3pm. Taylor doesn't do breakfast, but they do stay open until 9pm and they deliver. I doubt I will ever have them deliver because they're only about three blocks from the Rat's Nest, hardly seems worth the $2 charge.

Stay tuned for my next post on the EPIC FAIL of Ludlow-Taylor ES.

Final Fargo Post

2008-12-28T03:06:00.003-05:00

Holy shit have the last five days have been hectic! The craziness started on Christmas Eve.

While we're out here we had a blended family Christmas extravaganza. WifeRat's Father remarried after her Mom passed and his wife; my Mother-in-law and BabyRat's Grandmother, better known as Nanna; has two daughters of her own, one of whom lives right here in town named Shania. We actually see Shania and her family a fair bit, Shania's husband Craig was instrumental in pig cooking that went down at the lake this Summer and Shania's daughter Madison had swimming lessons with BabyRat at the Dragon Swim School while we were here. Nanna also has another daughter, Helen, who lives in Grand Forks with her boyfriend and they made the scene for Christmas Eve as well.

In deference to Craig who is Catholic (Shania is converting to Catholicism and Madison goes to Catholic school too), we all attended Christmas Eve Mass. After Mass it was back to Nanna's for a Christmas Eve appetizer buffet that included enough food to feed triple the number of people that were there. Once everyone had eaten themselves stupid and had a drink or two it was time to open presents.

Now this opening presents on Christmas Eve thing is new to me. I had heard of people who did it, but in the family I was born into all gift opening happened on Christmas Day.

WifeRat had always maintained that my family was ridiculous with presents on Christmas and it's true, the gift giving is excessive. My sister and I have both been working professionals for over ten years, but my folks continuously found ways to lavish insane amounts of gifts on us and years when SisRat and I have been flush we have gone all out too. So imagine my surprise when as Christmas approached, you could hardly walk in the living room of my in-laws house 'cause there were gifts everywhere. Naturally, just like every year at my folk's house, we had a four hour plus Bataan Death March of gift opening that ended after 11pm.

Christmas Day the temperature got up to about 20 degrees which allowed us to finally take advantage of all the snow we've had this month and go sledding at a little park near Nanna's house. Yes, 20 degrees felt positively balmy after a brutal cold snap where the high temperature over about three weeks was 10 degrees Fahrenheit. BabyRat took such a long nap that we had to wake her up so we could go have a Christmas Dinner of prime rib.

While most people were lolling around the house in sweat pants the day after Christmas, playing their new video games or whatever, WifeRat and I were hard at work packing up our apartment so we can head back to DC.

This morning BabyRat and I had a little breakfast date so the Wife could continue packing in peace and then when we got home it was decided that BabyRat and I would go to Dike West for more sledding fun. I love sledding and the conditions were perfect for BabyRat and I to go careening down the hill on our gigantic inner tube. BabyRat also had an epic wipeout when we hit a jump that popped her off the inner tube when we hit the ground and knocked off one of her boots and a sock.

Then things started sucking as I spent a good portion of the rest of the day loading a trailer full of crap. WifeRat worked like a stallion packing and cleaning while I was hauling today. We took a break to go to Paradiso for dinner with the in-laws and Shania & Craig but, after putting BabyRat to bed, it was go time until I finished cleaning the bathrooms and started writing this post.

Tomorrow we hit the road and expect to be back in DC on Tuesday. Sticky Rice here I come!!!!!!!!

Can't Stop Talking About . . .

2008-12-23T14:42:00.002-05:00

. . . the weather. We're supposed to be heading back to DC on Saturday, so hopefully this will be my last post about the insane weather in Fargo.

This past weekend we had to go up North for an early Christmas with the Aunts and to drop off all the furniture and household goods that we had mooched off of them for our stay here. This meant getting a trailer to haul the shit up there and getting said trailer loaded. Thankfully the Weinercats Pack Captain, Double-D, was good enough to get up at 8am on a Saturday morning to help out his ol' coach with loading up the trailer. For reasons I can't understand WifeRat refused call Double-D by his nickname and insisted I tell her his real name; I had to think long and hard about it because I had only seen it written down once and I had *never* heard anyone call him by his real name.

When Dubs got to the Dilworth crib at 9 it was already snowing and he said they were calling for 3-5 inches on the day. No matter, we had a nice heated garage to pull the RatWagon and trailer into while we were loading up. It took the two of us (actually three, cause BabyRat was taking down couch cushions and such, she's so cute!) about 90 minutes to haul all of our furniture down to the trailer and get it loaded in. After we finished we had a celebratory PBR at 10:30am and I gave Dubs one of my old West Pot PourHouse jerseys and $30 ($10 for some breakfast and $20 for a case beer seemed like a fair amount) for his help.

I back the trailer out of the garage without incident and decide to take a spin around the block to see how the RatWagon and trailer are handling in the snow. I make it about two blocks before I get mildly stuck trying to pull onto the main road through town. Shit, fuck, damn! For the first time in a month I have left the house without a coat or gloves and now I'm stuck in the snow pulling a trailer. I jump out to survey the situation and it wasn't as dire as it felt from the driver's seat, so I get back in and manage power my way out. I make it back home and announce that we're not going anywhere.

While I was gone both my Aunt that we were supposed to go see and my Father-in-law had called and said the roads were too bad to travel on with a trailer. So we hunkered down and prepared to spend another day at home, but lo and behold right after the decision was made to wait until the next day it stopped snowing. Fast forward to about 3pm and we decide that maybe we can make it. Phone calls are made and the final bit of stuff gets packed in the trailer, I go out for another test run and get stuck again. Like I told WifeRat, if we get in wreck or end up in ditch or something fucked up happens no one is going to say, "I can't believe that woman took her husband and family on the road in this shit." No, what's going to be said is, "What kind of man takes his family on the road in this? What a fucking idiot!"

The next day everything was fine and we made it up to Grafton with minimal hassle and made it back yesterday. Again the snow is falling today, it looks like it's tapering off and we got about 3 inches but unlike the last week or so the temperature is actually warm enough (a balmy 15 degrees) that we're going to make an attempt to go sledding when BabyRat gets up from her nap.

I'm also concerned that our spot is going to get blown up when we're trying to leave town this weekend. Looks like there is a chance for snow on Friday night and continuing on until Saturday morning, which would not be good for me and my front-wheel drive "truck."

Silver Moon Supper Club

2008-12-23T00:56:00.004-05:00

I know that I've talked a bit of shit about the food in Fargo but I had a great meal tonight at the Silver Moon Supper Club. WifeRat and I had been shut out there a few weeks ago, so we actually made a reservation this go 'round so we could take my in-laws there for dinner.

My in-laws were and are fans of Monte's Downtown in Fargo and apparently know the namesake (as well as the blood, sweat, and tears) of the operation. As it happens in the restaurant business Monte left to open his own place, the Silver Moon. So the second we walked in the door Monte greeted my Mother-in-law warmly with a shout and a hug before he whisked away our coats.

One of the things that I figured out over the years is that I love the art deco and art moderne styles. Our building in DC has some art deco touches that WifeRat incorporated into our renovation and I've always felt like stainless steel appliances had a kind of deco feel to them. Additionally, BigDaddyRat is from Miami and I've always loved the colors and feel of the city, especially South Beach which is art deco out the wazoo.

This fucking restaurant is gorgeous! It is equal parts spacious, elegant, sleek, and stylish with a strong art deco feel to it owing to the tons of brushed steel accents. The dark wood floors are a perfect compliment to (what looked like) lucite covered metal chairs and the many beautiful light fixtures that look like dozens of wine glasses hanging from their stems. The dining room is cradled between two banks of gigantic clam shell booths which serves to highlight the centerpiece of the room, an amazing custom-designed chandelier that the whole restaurant seems to revolve around.

Our 7:30 reservation was for the second seating in one of the clamshell booths, so we weren't surprised when we had to have a drink at the bar while the first table of the night finished up. I'm not much of a oenophile, so I can't really speak to the wine selection but they did have a whole page of different champagne cocktails! Is there anything more festive and holiday like than a champagne cocktail? I think not, and I started off with a classic champagne cocktail that was quite delicious and followed that up with a "French 75" that featured Bombay Gin, lime juice, and sugar and was equally good.

Once we were shown to our table WifeRat took over and ordered a bottle of cabernet for the table. I guess I'm spoiled with the house-made charcuterie of places like Eve, so when a beautifully presented but rather pedestrian assortment of meats (salami? C'mon) and cheeses (brie? You can do better than that) was presented to me I was a bit disappointed. There was some sort of funky, tasty, sweet chicken salad with no mayo kind of thing on the plate as well. WifeRat had the smoked salmon tartar that was pretty serviceable; a nice ring mold of chopped smoked salmon topped with chopped egg and capers.

We were presented with a nice little scoop of cranberry sorbet between courses that was exactly what I needed before took on a massive serving of short ribs served with sweet potato puree, zucchini, and an herb laced bechamel. The short ribs were perfectly cooked, flavorful, and fork tender, but a touch on the dry side. A small flaw that I am willing to overlook when I get two big ass pieces of short rib that made sure my greedy ass was satisfied.

I know I'm being a little picky about the food and there's one person who I blame for that: Cathal Armstrong. I'm lucky enough to be good friends with one of Chef Armstrong's bartenders at Restaurant Eve and consequently I go there rather frequently. The bar food they serve at Eve is better than what they put out for their best meal at 80% of the restaurants in America, so places suffer by comparison when I talk about food.

The trio of chocolate desserts was perfectly sized, three small portions of different chocolate desserts. I like dessert as much as anyone, but after a big meal like that the last thing I want is one of those Texas Cheesecake Depository-sized pieces of cake or something. I need a little something sweet to change the taste in mouth and to go along with my coffee, a few bites and not much more.

With the wonderful food and sophisticated atmosphere at the Silver Moon Supper Club, it's easy to forget you're in Fargo until you get the check. Again, I'm jaded by DC prices in restaurants so I was ecstatic when the bill came. Even compared to other places in Fargo like the HoDo or Monte's, Silver Moon is a pretty good deal.

I'm an easy grader, so I give the place 3 out of 4 stars.

Random Thoughts

2008-12-19T23:29:00.003-05:00

Here it is from the mind of Hill Rat; straight, no chaser.

A Cliche That Should Be Nuked Into Oblivion
"Love means never having to say you're sorry." What a dumb crock of shit! When I Googled that phrase I discovered that it was from the execrable movie "Love Story," which means it's associated with Al Gore and thus deserving of even more scorn. I've got no love for the Beatles and if I live to be 100 I will never understand the almost religious reverence some have for John Lennon, but Lennon was 100,000,000% on point when he said that, "Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes."

Moving Sucks
This observation is based (in part) on a childhood spent moving every two years. Back then the upside to moving was that we got to go out to eat a lot, now it just means that I'm paying to go out more.

After I became an adult and stopped having roommates, I settled in real quick and would probably still be living in the "Fortress of Solitude" (a/k/a; the Fortress or FoS) if I hadn't met WifeRat. For five glorious years I lived by myself in the Fortress and was quite content to stay in one place. This January will mark year five in the Rat's Nest and this move back to DC will be the third time I've moved into the same damn place. There was the initial move in with WifeRat back when she was known as Dr. Girlfriend, then when BabyRat wasn't quite a year old we had to move out during the renovation of the building and move back in 14 months later, and now we're moving back from Fargo-Moorhead. Blargh!

There's also nothing like moving to remind me what a consumerist pig I am. I have clothes that I packed up, moved out here, and never wore; that's fucking ridiculous and even more ridiculous is that I have at least one more box of clothes sitting in storage in DC. It wouldn't be so bad if I were some kind of clothes horse, but aside from my work clothes my wardrobe is mostly made up of rugby shirts, t-shirts from rugby tournaments, and cargo shorts. In retrospect I could have easily made it through the six months out here with the duffel bag I brought, one wardrobe box, and one box of additional clothes. I suck.

I Am a Bad Person

2008-12-18T16:23:00.002-05:00

Mostly because I am a judgmental ass, if you're not doing it my way you're wrong. I do, however, allow for the possibility that two reasonable people can examine the same set of facts and come to two different, yet equally valid, conclusions. If your opinion differs from mine though, it is most likely because you are a mouth-breather who should be neutered and disenfranchised. It is from this personal failing that today's blog post flows because I am getting ready to put an elementary school's Christmas Program on blast.

I fully understand that the purpose of an elementary school Christmas program is not to provide adults with some sort of high quality performance. The purpose is to give kids a chance to showcase what they've learned and how they've advanced with regard to various skills and abilities. I get that, but that does not mean that Christmas programs have carte blanch to suck ass. On Monday Ta-Nehisi Coates told SNL, "Motherfucker, be funny," and I'm telling these kids I saw today "Motherfucker, be cute" or if you can't manage that then at least "Motherfucker, be brief."

I guess my first beef isn't even with the kids or the teachers that put on today's horror show, but rather with the folks who told us to the program started at noon when it actually started at 12:30. So right off the bat WifeRat and I are in a peevish mood about this whole deal. We're going to return furniture and go have an early Christmas celebration up north with the Aunts this weekend, so we have shit that needed to get done today.

Shortly before the program starts I find out that the niece I'm there to see isn't playing in the band, has no speaking part in the play, and only appears in the chorus. Now my niece isn't in the chorus because she's tone deaf or has no dramatic chops, really quite the opposite. Because my niece is appearing in the Fargo-Moorhead Community Theater's production of Miracle on the 34th Street, she wasn't available for the big evening performance and the decision was made to leave her out of the play. Now it seems to me that if you have a kid who has appeared in productions at a renowned performing arts school and obviously has some interest and talent with regard to acting, don't you want to get that kid more involved in your production?

So the band starts playing and they begin to systematically launch a full frontal assault of awfulness on just about every Christmas I've ever known and loved. Eventually I look down at the program and I see that allegedly "Greensleeves/What Child Is This" was played by the band. I'm stunned because at no time did I hear anything that remotely resembled the trademark riff of those songs.

You have to understand, I'm not criticizing these kid's performance nor am I trying to impugn the band teacher's skills. Really I'm a little bit in awe of what an elementary school band teacher does, I've never met one that didn't play at least a half dozen instruments and could perform servicably on most others too. What I am criticizing is the decision to let that shit drag on for almost an hour! For fuck's sake, everyone would have been better off if the band had played half the number of songs and spent twice as much time rehearsing them.

Then after the band played, there were a half dozen songs played on hand chimes before we finally got to the play. The play was truly odd; something about a shepard that can't stay awake who goes to see Baby Jesus and becomes a real estate agent. I don't have anything against religion, I kind of like the idea of religion but the way it ends up being applied is what usually gives me the creeps. What does the birth of Christ have to do with real estate or a dude who sleeps on the job?

You Can't Make This Up

2008-12-18T13:10:00.001-05:00

Brick & Mortar Shopping

2008-12-17T13:49:00.002-05:00

There is no mystery why brick & mortar bookstores are currently fighting for their lives: their selection sucks.

I was given an assignment by WifeRat to pick out books for five young men in our family. The last time we were up north we noticed that the only book in any of the three kids room's was the Bible. Now the Bible's a fine book with some interesting stuff in it, but it really shouldn't be the only book a young person owns. I was a voracious reader as a teenager and so I'm pretty well suited to the task of picking out books for boys ranging from the ages of 10-20.

The youngest of the boys plays hockey, so I thought "This Can't Be Happening at MacDonald Hall" would be a great selection for him. If you want to get a kid into reading, you don't hand him a copy of "War and Peace" and start blathering on about what a great piece of literature it is and whatever the fuck it is (I never read it so I don't know) that's supposed to make it so great. To introduce a 10-12 year old to a life long love of reading, what you do is give him (or her) a book about something they're already interested in and make sure the shit is entertaining. Once you get a kid past the hurdle of reading that first book and making it an enjoyable experience that they want to repeat, then they're hooked. "MacDonald Hall" is short, funny, and features hockey prominently; the proverbial no-brainer.

Unfortunately, not only did Barnes & Noble not have the book in stock; the shit is out of print and they had no way of getting it for me. Strike one!! OK, I can live with that. "MacDonald Hall" was written thirty years ago by a Canadian, so it's understandable how that might not be on the shelves.

The next youngest kid is a sophomore in high school, the perfect age to read Cormier's "The Chocolate War." A great book about alienation and isolation, standing up for yourself and learning about the true cost of taking a stand. These are all themes that young teenager should be exposed to. Too often when we try to explain to young folks about morality or taking a stand, we present it in a vacuum as if the only choice that has to be made is the choice to do the right thing or the wrong thing; that there is no price to be paid for doing the right thing and never anything to be gained from doing the wrong thing. I roll over to the Teens section and find some of Cormier's later work, but not the book I wanted. Strike two!

There is also a senior in high school who is the older brother of the two previous knuckleheads. He's all about becoming a pilot so I thought the James Michener novel "Space," that I read in high school, would be an appropriate choice. Not only is the book about a topic that he's interested in (pilots & space flight), but there are also some salacious bits in there too that he would probably enjoy. I find the half a shelf of Michener they have at the book store and they have about eight to ten of his other novels, but no "Space." Strike three!!

I did a little better with the older boys, the sons of one of WifeRat's other Aunts. The younger of the two of them is out of high school (we'll call him Carl) and working as a diesel mechanic while he tries to figure out what to do with his life. I've got to spend a little time with Carl while I've been up here and he's a nice, respectful, and smart kid with a good heart. My guess is that he probably won't go to college; he's 19 years old and makes like $12/hr, which is a living wage in this part of the country. My goal for him is to make sure that just because he stopped going to school he doesn't let his brain turn to mush. I figure that if I can convince Carl read one book, that book should be "Catcher in the Rye." I'm glad they had "Catcher" in stock because I might have had to blow the place up as unworthy of the title "bookstore" if they didn't have that on the shelves.

Finally there's the oldest of the bunch, he's all into being a business man so I got him "The Handbook of Style: A Man's Guide to Looking Good" by Esquire. A good bit of the stuff in this book I learned from my Father and uncles and the rest I learned from reading Playboy (back when they had articles worth reading) and Esquire. I had the advantage of having an old man who was an Army officer, so he got schooled on all this stuff and passed it down to me and my uncles provided generational updates (they're 7 and 15 years younger than my Dad) to the general principles. Uncle Lars (the two oldest boy's Dad) however, is a fireman and does body work. Lars is a great dude; smart, hard working, dependable, and probably my favorite uncle to throw down a few cocktails with, but he has no use for the finer points of haberdashery. Seriously, if I walked into a body shop and saw someone dressed like this I would leave skid marks out of the place. So I'm trying to help fill the gap in the same way that I hope Lars and Carl will teach my kids how to turn a wrench.

My point (and I do have one) is that 60% of what I wanted wasn't available at the bookstore I went to. I suppose I could have gone to another bookstore, but I doubt I would have fared much better. It's not like I was looking for super obscure books or I'm complaining about the lack of African-American selections in a bookstore in Fargo; I was just looking for regular ol' books and they simply didn't have them on the shelves. It doesn't take but about two or three paperback books to get clear of the $25 threshold for free shipping, no transportation hassles, and you can be done in five minutes. Tell me friends, what's the compelling reason to go to an actual bookstore rather than ordering through Amazon if you already know what you want?

I Guess I Needed a Few Days Off

2008-12-16T09:58:00.003-05:00

I had posted for something like 50 days in a row but out of town travel, insane weather, and laziness took over for a few days.

Swiss Family Rat had to head back north again last weekend for our third funeral in two weeks. The Aunts were in full effect as usual, cooking and pampering; even going so far as to give WifeRat a two Aunt massage on Friday night.

This funeral was for Great Aunt Mid, the sister of WifeRat's Maternal Grandfather. Mid was the "Master of the Post" (not the Post Mistress because gender has nothing to do with it and the Post office doesn't have a mistress) for thirty plus years in a small town in North Dakota. An interesting and beloved family member, I'll always remember Mid for introducing me to a shot called "Carrot Cake." RIP Mid.

After the funeral on Saturday morning, we changed clothes and fled back to Dilworth ahead of a predicted blizzard. We made it back to town ahead of the storm and I was sent out for provisions that included a few groceries, a suitcase of PBR, and a pizza.

I woke up on Sunday morning to howling winds and swirling snow that made me think of Hoth. This shit was no joke; winds were gusting up to 30mph, snow was flying everywhere, and it was stupid cold. We had actually been talking about going to church the night before, but it was obvious that we weren't going anywhere for a while.

The night before I had told BabyRat that we had gotten a new sled and if we got some snow we would probably go sledding. Naturally that led to this massive inner tube being blown up in the living room that morning and becoming BabyRat's new favorite toy of the moment. She bounced in, over, and around this inner tube non-stop for about an hour after I blew it up constantly asking when we were going sledding.

Finally at about 11am BabyRat and I decided to strap on the Winter gear and head outside to see what a Fargo blizzard was all about. Naturally BabyRat was in her one piece snowsuit in about ten seconds and pulling on her boots asking loudly, "DADDY, ARE YOU READY," while I was still putting on a shirt. We're heading downstairs and when the elevator door opens it smelled like someone had actually been doing bong hits in the elevator. BabyRat is quick to comment, "It stinks in here Daddy! What's that smell?"

We walk through the large communal garage in our building and make it to an outside door. I push the door open and was surprised that it wasn't as cold as I was expecting, but we didn't make it 20 feet from the door before BabyRat was wailing, "DADDY I'M COLD, LET'S GO BACK INSIDE!" So we go back into the garage, but BabyRat hesitates about going back upstairs. We have a little debate and I assure my daughter that she's not going to get frostbite if we walk around the building, because apparently they talk about this subject at her school. A little scarf tightening and we go back outside and after BabyRat flops into a snow drift we walk about 100 yards to one of the side doors of the building to go back inside.

You would think that being stuck in the house for an entire day would facilitate blogging but it didn't work out that way for me. I need to sit uninterrupted for about an hour or so, surfing the web, sending tweets, and responding to e-mail before I'm ready to start writing. Even though BabyRat takes a nap right after lunch and WifeRat is awesome about giving me the time and space I need to write, I just wasn't feeling it after not writing for a couple of days so I didn't force myself to do it.

To my great surprise, school was canceled yesterday despite the fact that the main roads in Moorhead were immaculate (I mean cleared and dry) at 9 am and the roads in Dilworth were pretty good. That meant trying to juggle a workday and a full house with a rambunctious three year old that hadn't been outside in any kind of meaningful way for a day and a half. WifeRat cleared the decks for me to get some work done early in the day and at lunch time BabyRat and I headed over to the in-laws. Thankfully one of their neighbors had already cleared the driveway and all they needed me to do was dig out the front porch.

After lunch and BabyRat's non nap (she played quietly in the bedroom for an hour and a half and refused to sleep), we made meatballs together for last night's dinner. I really enjoy cooking with her, she's such a fun little person to hang out with and be around. Eventually we went over the in-laws to finish making dinner and eat before WifeRat kicked me out of the house to go watch MNF after bedtime.

So here I am at the coffee shop, working and blogging after dropping BabyRat at school.

More Fiction

2008-12-11T10:16:00.003-05:00

I'm taking another whack at the fiction writing. -HR

As Alexis stood underneath the bright lights in front of a mirror she quickly brushed her thick black curls back and gathered them at the back of her head. After a few more swipes with the brush, her hands expertly moved in concert to assemble the hair into a tight ponytail with the assistance of a small elastic band. She checked herself one last time in the mirror as she slipped the brush into her purse and brushed a strand of hair away from her white shirt, perfectly knotted tie, and neatly pressed apron.

The silence of the bathroom was shattered by the boisterous sounds of a restaurant kitchen making last minute preparations for the Thursday evening dinner service as soon as Alexis opened the door and stuffed her purse in the bank of lockers that lined the wall next to the bathroom.

As she made her way through the kitchen she took in the sights, sounds, and smells of 40 different dishes in various states of readiness. Cocky young cooks bumped into each other and gave her wolfish smiles that she returned with a shy wave. Saute' pans sizzled red hot with thick slabs of meat and the air was filled with the aromas of boiling pots of stocks that had been simmering gently for hours and hours and a garden full of chopped herbs.

She poked her head out into the bright dining room and saw that the rest of the front of the house staff was seated and ready for their pre-shift meeting. Alexis stepped back to where Chef was standing, told her everyone was ready, and slipped out to join her co-workers.

When Alexis sat down her friend Kim elbowed her in the ribs and wondered aloud, "If you love the kitchen so much, why don't you go join the heathens in the back of the house and cook?" Alexis gave her a sour look and stuck out her tongue as a reply as Chef strode up to the table and gave her staff a warm smile and asked, "Are there any questions about tonight's menu?"

The assembled waiters, food runners, and bartenders looked down at the index cards in their hands and scanned the evening's selections. A couple of hands went into the air and for the next few minutes Chef patiently and expertly gave a discourse on everything from where the evening's poached lobsters came from to how much longer they could expect they could expect pears to be in season.

Chef's generous nature and lack of histrionics permeated the whole restaurant. There was a low hum of jokes being exchanged and quiet laughs as the meeting broke up and people filtered throughout the restaurant to their various workstations. Chef motioned for Alexis to follow her back to the kitchen and inquired,"Did you try the new appetizer yet?" Alexis shook her head and Chef said, "Go back there and fire one for us," pointing to the line and handing Alexis a chef's jacket.

Alexis stepped up to the massive range and, with speed and skill that never ceased to amaze the cooks, began to sear a hunk of foie gras. She quickly moved around the station gathering plates, garnishes, and sauces. Alternating between being a blur of motion and impatiently looking at the pan waiting for the goose liver to cook. In four minutes she had assembled a beautiful plate that she took with her back to Chef's cramped but meticulously neat office with a couple of forks.

Links

2008-12-10T21:41:00.002-05:00

The Macho Stimulus Package - Mildly interesting op-ed from the Boston Globe. The argument being made is that Obama's stimulus package is focused on public works construction projects and alternative energy initiatives that will increase job opportunities in fields that are dominated by men with the result being that women are largely left out.

IMHO the author makes a mistake by not following up on the stats that he quotes about the number of families that are supported by women. Calculating the economic impact of a rise or fall in household income for those families would yield a dramatic number that's easily understood.

While the author makes a reasonable point, he fails to consider why Obama may have chosen to take on this particular set of tasks first. I see this as a straight marketing move; building bridges, replacing windows in schools, and building wind farms are projects that are easily understood and quantified. That's in stark contrast to something like raising the wages of home health care workers and providing better care for sick and elderly who depend on them. No doubt the workers and the people they provide care for would benefit, but it's not something that can be shown on a bar chart in a PowerPoint presentation like the number of windows replaced in American school buildings.

Calling All Cars: Trouble at Chuck E. Cheese's, Again - You wouldn't think that Wall Street Journal would be up on the latest happenings at Chuck E. Cheese's, but they are. Mildly funny story on the fact that Chuck E. Cheese's are often the site of throwdowns between groups of drunken adults. It makes me feel all the more cheated that when I had to go to CEC it was a doo-doo location with no bar. Make sure you read all the way to the end and check out the "food fight" graphic.

I love you sweet leaf - Amazing story about a woman who asks a cop if she can smoke during a traffic stop and proceeds to light up a joint!

The "Rick Roll" of 2009? - I post, you decide. I saw this at Coilhouse and I haven't stopped laughing since. Amazingly bad song and video, but at least as funny was the line in Coilhouse's post, "Take it to the hilt, paladin." OMGWTFBBQ indeed.

Shine on me
by mikropikol

Is It Worth It?

2008-12-09T10:58:00.003-05:00

WifeRat and I thought we had decided against renting out our place for the inauguration. We will have just gotten back home from North Dakota and we're looking forward to being back in our place. But I was just looking on Craig's List and seeing the ridiculous prices people are asking for (and presumably getting) for places in DC. I'm guessing that with minimal effort we could get someone in our place for four nights at $1500/night for a total of $6K.

The problem then becomes where do we stay? We could stay with MommaRat in Alexandria, but that comes with its own special set of challenges (extra driving mostly) that I may not be up for dealing with if they can be avoided.

We also considered fleeing town for the warmer climes of South Florida. The rental proceeds would more than cover a four day trip to South Beach, where WifeRat's best friend lives, where we could ball out and stay at a beach front hotel. A nice change of pace from Fargo to say the least. Even though the trip would be paid for, traveling with a three year old is always a bit of a trial and we will have only been home for about two weeks when we have to take off.

The idea of nice little trip to Miami is enticing, but we live a 20 minute walk from the Capitol and can easily get to and participate in all of the inauguration festivities going on in DC. This is truly a once in a lifetime event and I have to wonder if ten years down the line I'll feel like a schmuck for having missed it to go hang out in Miami.

Fargo Weather

2008-12-09T01:47:00.003-05:00

I've been so dramatic over the last couple of weeks that I decided I'm just gonna post about the weather out here in Fargo.

I know it's early in the Winter, but right now it's just not that bad. I'm strapped with a Carhartt so I'm pretty good to go until the wind chill hits 20-30 below. Folks out here don't think much of the current weather, I think the high temperature was like 22 today but no one was really sweatin' it.

In DC none of BabyRat's schools went outside to play when it was less than about 35 degrees. Here in F-M, BR's school requires that bring a full heavy duty Winter getup for your kid that includes snow pants and boots, consequently these kids up here go outside until the temperature is 5 degrees Fahrenheit. Now that includes wind chill so they went outside today when it was 19, but if the wind had been whipping they would have had to stay in. When the wind starts blowing when it's in the teens, the wind chill comes on pretty quick.

We also have had a bit of snow, nothing significant but a couple of different incidents of two inches or so of snow. If we get a little bit more snow later this week I think we may be able to break out the big inner tube thingy I "got for BabyRat." Apparently there is some decent sledding in Fargo at place called Dike West, a park just over the border into North Dakota.

It's quite nice to be in a place where people know how to drive in the snow and ice. If you had roads like this in Metro DC it would be complete bedlam; schools would be closed, liberal leave would be abused, and there would wrecks by the truckload. Really it's the simple things that count, slowing down a bit, leaving a little more space between you and the person in front of you, and remembering that just because you have four wheel drive it doesn't render the laws of physics moot or give you eight wheel brakes that will stop your three plus ton behemoth in 20 feet.

I also went to watch the second half of the Monday Night Football game tonight and after taking a beating at Dempsey's on the blackjack table, I also got dominated at Pig Wheel. I think my run of gambling luck in Fargo may have run out. After being up for what seemed like the whole trip, I'm definitely down overall after the last 3-4 weeks.

Farg-izzle in Da House!!

2008-12-08T12:34:00.003-05:00

This is what makes Twitter so amazing. I completely missed this story in the local paper out here, but through the magic of Twitter and social networking it was brought to my attention complete with a link to this page, picture, and caption. I originally scored this as a 12 on a scale of 1-10 for unintentional comedy but the official scale runs up 100 so I give it a revised score of 120 out of 100. I don't know that this can be topped.

Update
Unfortunately the links to this story are now dead and will cost you $2.95 to access them.

Back to Normal?

2008-12-07T23:30:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow will be the first day in two weeks that Swiss Family Rat hasn't been together for the bulk of the day. The week of Thanksgiving BabyRat's school was closed and we were back home last week. It's been a lot of fun having her around all the time, I love goofing off during the day with her and not being in a hurry. It's great when we go wash the car together and I can let BabyRat mess around with the vacuum for as long as she stays interested or we have time to go Scheels to ride the ferris wheel and covet sporting goods or even just going to the grocery store when you're not in "OMG must get home to cook" mode.

As you can tell from looking at my posts, it does affect when I get to blog. Rather than dropping Fatty (I know I shouldn't call her that, but it you saw her when she was six months old you would understand why) and then going to the coffee shop to post more or less first thing in the morning, I found myself doing it at the end of the day. I would try to post during nap time, but most of the time I just needed to chill during that part of the day.

It will be interesting to see how all of us adjust back to being on some kind of schedule.

Crazy Talk

2008-12-06T21:22:00.002-05:00

I think I'm addicted to posting now. It's like I need to give myself an after action report on the day or my current emotional state. I'm just seeing how much I can write during the intermission of a Scrabble game.

We decided to not have a TV while we were out here in NoDak and not too long after we arrived we realized that we didn't want to sit around and read every night because we both read a lot during the course of a day. It's fine some nights to read together in the living room after BabyRat goes to bed and there were more than a couple of nights that we just cracked open a bottle of wine and sat out on the balcony. We don't have a good full time setup to watch TV online and the feeble offerings available over the Summer weren't holding our interest, so WifeRat picked up a Scrabble game a couple of months ago.

It's been kind of neat to develop some skill at Scrabble at the same time. But truth be told WifeRat has been killing me for about the last month, constant vicious beatdowns until I finally got off the schneid last night assisted by a 73 point bingo.

Later. Game on!

No Way I'm Posting Tommorow

2008-12-05T21:20:00.002-05:00

I just don't see it happening. This week has been a bit intense to say the least and I've still managed to post everyday so who knows?

Flying sucks ass these days and flying a with a bunch of low budget schmucks like United makes it even worse. I'm only linking to their site in the futile hope that someone from United will notice that they're being put on blast and try to appease me with some free tickets or a refund for baggage fees ($15 for each bag both ways, fuckers) or at the very least maybe they will stop sucking so much ass.

I know that airlines are getting pinched and trying to cut costs wherever but the industry as a whole is running at a loss over the course of its history and that's not likely to change anytime soon. And these are the prick motherfuckers are trying to sell me extra leg room when I check myself in because shit is tight?

I did my part today, I rolled up to the curbside check-in an hour and twenty minutes before my flight was supposed to take off with ID and itinerary in hand. The thought was to get there in enough time to grab a quick bite before we got on the plane. Too bad United's technology was deficient and I was directed inside to check-in where I got to wait in line for twenty minutes before the automated check-in kiosk hacked up a hairball. Then I got to wait around in a little area like a fucking veal calf until a human got around to dealing with me and the other people who were rejected.

Here's the thing about the baggage fees, why are you making me participate in another transaction once I get to the airport? I just spent $1600 on plane tickets, I don't care (that much) about the last $60, what I do care about is having to dick around with buying something else once I get to the airport. Even if it only takes 30 seconds to complete a credit card transaction from start to finish, that's a lot of time the airlines are quietly stealing from their customers.

Christ, I can't even talk about this shit anymore because I'm getting pissed all over again thinking about the Friday afternoon shit show at the security check-in at National. If every Friday afternoon you have lines out the wazoo at security don't you think maybe you should put on some extra people or just not keep doing the same thing that brings lines, delays, and annoyance to all involved?

The next time I travel on business I'm probably just gonna get that "Clear" thing hooked up for myself and charge the cost back to my company. I really don't like that shit though; rich people and sleazy fucks who work the system like me get over and everyone else can eat a dick? That's not nice but it is very American.

Who's making money off that shit anyway? I dunno, the more I look into this thing the less I like it. " . . . the first branded consumer product in what we call the voluntary identity credentialing industry," that's some real Orwellian shit right there.

I'm Surrounded by Wonderful People

2008-12-04T18:54:00.003-05:00

Just a quick one from the iPhone today.

My project had their holiday lunch today and I never pass up a free meal. Despite all my blather about what's been going down here, I neglected to tell my boss and coworkers about the funereal. You never really know how much folks care and in some cases you're better off not finding out. In this case I found out that my colleagues care about me more than I would have ever suspected.

Strangely I find the cynicism I've felt for the last 20 years starting to dissipate in the wake of Dad's death. So many folks have just overwhelmed me with their generosity and kindness that I can actually believe that people are basically good. I can believe that decency and charity are the real default setting for humanity. Perhaps this is the final lesson my Father has to teach me.

Pain That Won't Go Away

2008-12-03T21:16:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I wrote that I'm glad this shit is over; but as I have been so many times before, I was completely and totally wrong. The aftermath of BDR's death isn't over, it's only just beginning.

We (Mom, Sis, and I) are all so hurting and confused right now that it feels like this might not ever be over. Did I mention that I've been on a roller coaster of emotions the last few days?

Part of what makes this so difficult was the sudden and unexpected way that my Father passed away. BigDaddyRat was a large and vital man, he had survived two wars (Vietnam and Panama) and still exercised regularly. He had put on a few pounds since he got out of the Army, but was still in pretty decent shape for a guy that was almost 65 years old. Even after Dad had blown out both of his knees and was hobbling around on walker, the last thing anyone expected was for him to suddenly drop dead. I guess I should explain what happened.

BDR worked for AM General as the "Director of Government Relations," which means that he was a weird kind of lobbyist. He used his extensive contacts within the military to assess and analyze their transportation needs as they related to AM General and their line of products. He would then explain those needs to his colleagues at AM General which would allow them to market vehicles to the military (the Army in particular) more aggressively and effectively.

What this also means is that a big part of BDR's job was taking guys out to lunch and playing golf. It's nice work if you can get it. So he was out at a golf course in Maryland, but because the course was kind of soggy it was cart paths only that day. While walking out to what turned out to be the last golf ball he ever hit, BDR slipped and blew out his patella tendon. Then while he was at Walter Reed to get the final word on what needed to be done, he slipped and blew out the other knee in the exact same way and as an added bonus he tore his rotator cuff while trying to catch himself. Yes, you are reading that correctly; as a result of a round of golf, the COL blew out two knees and a shoulder. When I saw him in the hospital after the fact, he joked that he was one more accident away from being a quadriplegic. After getting the two knees fixed and coming home from the hospital, BDR left this mortal coil when a blood clot entered his lung (pulmonary embolism) and took the big man down.

Now there had initially been some hysterical talk of law suits for wrongful death, etc. but I wasn't really with it. Subsequently I found out that UncleRat (BDR's youngest brother, a Federal prosecutor) has been advocating this position as well. I have the utmost respect for UncleRat as a person and as a professional, so if he's the one saying it I guess we have to at least consider this law suit thing one last time.

It's not like any of us are hurting for money and hitting the Tort Law lotto is the only chance we have for a financially happy life. I think the real motivation is that we want someone to blame. Dad's death is leaving a gaping void in the life of everyone that knew him and I think many of us want someone to suffer financially or professionally thinking that it will make us feel better, but it won't. Dad will still be dead, my Mom will still be a widow, and all that would have really changed is that some lawyer would get a new Porsche out of the deal.

Yesterday one of my close friends was speaking ill of Walter Reed AMC, but I don't blame the folks that work there and I told him so. The real deal is that the facilities and staff of WRAMC are overloaded. For the last 16 years we have been whittling down our military and its resources to the bare bones, thinking that the collapse of the Soviet Union meant there wasn't going to be another large-scale war. The smackdown we laid on Saddam during Desert Storm further convinced our nation and its leaders that our military was more or less invincible, so we cut people and we closed facilities and now we are paying the price.

Naked

2008-12-03T00:01:00.003-05:00

What a day. The gamut of emotions that I endured today ranged from absolute elation all the way to soul destroying grief. As careful as I've (kind of) been about not revealing too much personal information, right now I don't feel like hiding. I don't know if I ever explicitly said anywhere in my blog or my tweets that my Father died a little more than three months ago. Consequently, it's been a weird few months for me.

Right now everyone in the house is asleep and it's just me and my laptop. After a month of posting everyday, it would be strange to not have something to say today so here I am.

First of all, I am glad this shit is over!!! Do you have any idea how nerve wracking and emotionally bizarre it is to have a three month lag between the death of loved one and the actual funereal service? Unless you have a close family member who was buried at Arlington Cemetery you probably don't; if you do, you have my deepest sympathies and condolences. After twisting in the wind for three months and trying to nurse my Mother and Sister through this thing from Fargo, it is a great relief for it to finally be over.

My folks were married for over 40 years and met a couple of years before that, so as far as my Mom was concerned nothing important happened in her life until she met my Father. Their marriage, while not perfect, was as strong and resilient as the people who entered into it. My Mother basically does not know life as an adult without my Father at her side. When she mourned the loss of her own her Father shortly after I was born, my Father was at her side and helped her through the tough days and nights that followed. My Father was there with her through thick and thin for 40 years and now she is alone.

I have no idea how to help my Mother. In a way I'm kind of glad that I've been gone, not because I don't want to help my Mother but for exactly the opposite reason. I would have helped her too much had I been here for the last three months. My instinct is to shield and protect my Mother from whatever comes her way, probably at the expense of my own family. It would have been close to impossible for me to allow her to deal with some of things that have transpired since my Father's demise had I only been a short distance away.

While I'm being totally honest, I know that my Mother feels that I prioritize my wife and child above her and she's right, I do. It's OK, this seems like something that every son has to go through with his Mom to some extent. Your Mother gives you so much, she loves you so much, she sacrifices so much for you as a child, that it's little wonder that once you become an adult and put another woman before her in your life that she does not like it. Still, I know that I'm doing the right thing; I'm following the example that my Father set for me.

BigDaddyRat - Lessons Learned

2008-12-01T21:14:00.007-05:00

As I think back on the things that I learned from my Father, one thing strikes me. The lessons that I really took to heart; the things that are always with me and form the moral and theoretical underpinnings of who I am as a person; are the teachings that my Father didn't speak of but were conveyed to me through the way he lived his life.

There have been plenty of times when I've been fucked over in my life. Work, school, and athletics all provided me with plenty of gut wrenching and heart breaking experiences, some of which left me bitter and quite angry. Without ever saying a word the COL (as my Father is often referred to) managed to let me know that the idea of revenge was petty and beneath me. That any effort that I might have thought to put into some sort of hare brained scheme to get back at someone; to try and damage someone's reputation, to attempt to harm their business prospects, no matter how richly deserved; cheapened me as a person.

When I was being forged by these experiences, it always burned me to think that a person fucked me and "got away with it." In the fullness of time I have come to realize that's not true. You don't leave those situations with nothing, you come away from them more mature, more patient, wiser, but most importantly, you walk away with your dignity intact. There's no promotion, no amount of money, no possession that can replace your dignity.

The COL taught me about hard work; not by lecturing me about it, but by letting me see him working his ass off everyday. My Dad never had to tell me to get a job, when the time was right I decided for myself to start working. When I started working I gave it everything I had, it didn't matter that I was making minimum wage selling shoes at an outlet mall, it was a job and I owed it and myself my best effort. One of the biggest bursts of pride I ever felt in my life was when I was fucking up in school and my Dad told me he wasn't worried about me because I knew how to work. It was a powerful moment of validation that told me my Father accepted me as a man and knew that I had a man's resolve to overcome whatever obstacles were in my way.

Secure in the knowledge that I had my Father's respect as a working man, I always strived to make sure that I continued to be worthy of that respect. It is not always easy, there are the inevitable shortcuts to take and corners to cut when it comes to work. But what he ultimately taught me was there is right way to do things and wrong way and the choice to do the wrong thing is no choice at all.

Father, husband, athlete, warrior are all words used to describe the COL, there's no one who ever met BigDaddyRat that questioned his manhood. He was a man's man, from the bottom of his size 16 feet going up six feet six and a half inches to the top of the pointy head that we share. Tough and strong, smart and brave. These were the words that described my Father but through the way he lived his life he taught me that it was just as important (perhaps more so) that a man be kind and gentle, loving and merciful. There is no doubt that this is the most important lesson he taught me.

There are so many fucked up conceptions of manhood out there, I eternally humbled and grateful that I had a Father who showed me the right way to be a man. Who showed me with his every thought, word, and deed that the measure of a man is not kills on the battlefield or money in the bank or notches on the bedpost, but rather how does he use what he has to help others?

I love you Dad and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be a scintilla of the man that you were.

Victory!!

2008-11-30T17:03:00.003-05:00

30 posts in 30 days was the goal and I made it! Actually this will be post number 42 for the month, but some of those were informational posts and others were to fill a Tweet jones. I'm really glad that I decided to take the daily blog posting challenge, I hadn't really pushed myself with regard to my blogging so it was gratifying to set a goal and reach it.

I definitely punted on a couple of weekend posts, but when I started doing this I originally had only planned to post on weekdays. Even so, I think I only had one or two weekday posts that were less than 500 words so overall I'm pretty happy with the quality and quantity of what I've been able to produce over the course of the last month.

I know it probably sounds strange to talk about quantity of words, but if I'm going to actually become a professional writer then I have to be able to produce at a certain level. There will be word counts and deadlines that have to be met and a lot more pressure than writing a blog post every day, so I may turn up on the heat on myself when the new year starts.

I have to give my first shout out to WifeRat. She's really been in my corner and without her seeing the value in what I'm doing with this blog there's no way that I would have made it through this month. WifeRat is my biggest fan and my strongest ally in life. I love you honey and my gratitude for your support knows no boundaries.

I also want to give a shout to KnockoutEd from COINTELPOL, he's always here commenting and cheering me on. KE has some interesting stuff to say so check him out and leave a comment or two. Thanks also to Ta-Nehisi Coates for giving me a link and my best bit of exposure in the blogosphere. More thanks to NylonThread for turning me on to the whole National Blog Posting Month thing. Finally thanks to everyone who has ever read or commented on my blog, I can't believe people actually take the time to read what I write. It's humbling, gratifying, and inspiring all at the same time; I only hope that the few comments I leave around are as inspiring to other bloggers as their comments are to me.

[NON SEQUITUR]Holy shit! Did I really just hear "Every Day is Like Sunday" in an NFL ad? Apparently I did. Is there a musician on this planet that is more antithetical to ethos and style of American professional football than motherfucking Steve Morrissey? I think not. Seriously, WTF?[/NON SEQUITUR]

I'm still committed to posting 500 words every weekday until the end of the year. I'm not sure how that's going to work out this coming week with Dad's funereal and most of the family in DC, but if I can squeeze out 2500 words this week I'll know I can do it every week.

More Family

2008-11-29T15:07:00.002-05:00

I come from a family where all the men cook. Both of my grandfathers were excellent cooks, BigDaddyRat and both of his brothers can throw down in the kitchen. These aren't guys who just BBQ either, my Dad and I won a cake baking contest when I was in sizth grade. Not only do all these guys cook well, but they scrub the kitchen like their life depended on it when they're done too.

I love my wife, I love the fact that she's a "modern" woman who expects me to do my share around the house, and I love taking care of my family by cooking and cleaning for them. My Mom had a similar attitude, she told me that she didn't want to raise a helpless man; so she taught me to cook and clean and I'll always be grateful to her for teaching me those important lessons.

Even so, there's nothing like having a bunch of doting aunts around fixing you food, clearing your plate, and generally treating you like a king. Yay Aunts!!!

Family

2008-11-28T14:59:00.002-05:00

Is there such a thing as too much family? 'Cause I feel like I'm straight OD-ing on family right now. Yesterday was Thanksgiving, obviously a big family holiday with lots of relatives around. Today we're heading up north for an 80th birthday party tomorrow night and as an added bonus, we're going to a funereal tomorrow morning. After we get back, it's back to DC for BigDaddyRat's funereal which will be attended by just about every relative we have on that side of the family. So let's total it up; we have a major holiday, a family party, and two funereals in the span of six days.

I'm estimating that of the relatives that I have semi-regular contact with, I'll probably be seeing about 80-90% of them in the course of a single week. It's funny because it's such a wild mix of people. In the next few days I will converse with goose-stepping GOP religious right fundamentalists and Black nationalists who want to see Obama looking out of the Oval Office in the "By any means necessary" pose. I will dine with one uncle who is an Assistant US Attorney and another uncle that's done time in so many different states that noone's sure what the total is. I will greet two cousins the same way, "Yo man, it's been too long, we gotta get together and kick it." One of those cousins is a Federal police officer, the other is a retired (we think) gangbanger. I will get pawed on by two sets of aunts, one set of aunts will be rural and White, the other set will be urban and Black; all of them will be throwing down glasses of chardonnay and scotch like it's their motherfucking job.

The one thing that binds all of these people together is their love me, WifeRat, and (especially) BabyRat. As different as my family is from WifeRat's family, they are also eerily similar in many respects. The loud, exuberant aunts and their soft-spoken, even tempered husbands with useless 2nd and 3rd cousins aplenty on both sides of the family.

Before our families were bound together, I would have never believed how similar a rural White family and an urban Black family could be. I wonder how confusing all of this will be for BabyRat, will she assume that every family is the same with a White half and a Black half, just like she has one male parent and one female parent?

As I type this I realize that I have a lot to deal with in the next few days and I have no choice but to lean on all of my family members for strength. They will all reach out to me, the ones that forwarded e-mails about Obama being a Muslim side by side with the ones who think he's the second coming. As I prepare to lay my Father to rest, the criminals and the cops will all fold me inside of the protective cocoon of their love and sympathy. The beefy, hard-working hands of uncles both Black and White will clamp down on my shoulder and give me a squeeze because they don't know what to say, but that small act has always said just as much as the most elegant turn of phrase.

So I guess the answer is, "No." You can't have too much family.

Setting a Scene

2008-11-27T23:31:00.003-05:00

I want to get into writing some fiction and I don't have anything I want to discuss today, so I'm going to write an introduction to a character. Enjoy. -HR

Dante gave himself a quick pat down before he walked out the door of his apartment, checking for his wallet, keys, and phone before closing the door behind him. His footfalls echoed through the stairwell as he came down from his top floor apartment and when he reached the bottom of the stairs he hip checked the front door of his building open and stepped out into the cool DC fall morning.

Dante's eyes scanned for his car and he quickly spotted it across the street near the end of the block. After getting diesel fumes belched in his face by a Metrobus, he took the required number of steps to reach his car. Despite the fact that Dante was a little more than six feet tall and a lean 200 pounds, he had the lumbering gait and carriage of a much heavier man. He opened up the low-slung two door car and dropped into the driver's seat like a ton of bricks.

The car's engine came to life with a quick twist of the ignition key and Dante rolled down the windows to let out the stale funk emanating from the duffel bag in the back seat. He twisted around in his seat and started to dig through the half open bag, feeling around blindly until he felt the familiar shape of a pack of cigarettes and plucked them from the bag. He pushed in the lighter in the dashboard of the car and pulled into traffic as he jammed a Newport between his lips.

As he navigated his way out of the city and enjoyed the feeling of tar and nicotine grabbing his lungs he began to think about the day ahead of him. Dante worked at a pretty standard government contractor job; do a bunch of stuff that the feds can't or won't do for themselves and have them resent you for it. Today was a little different because last night the wire transfer went through, he could hardly believe it when he looked at his account balance before he left for work this morning and saw that it read "Available Balance - $786,423.92." It was official, he no longer needed to work at a job he didn't really like just to make ends meet.

He had been waiting for this day for a few months and now that it was here he didn't really know what to do. Should he detour over to the Tune Inn and have a couple of cocktails before going to the office and wait for someone to say something to him? Maybe during the weekly staff meeting he would go ahead and tell the insufferable jackass that he worked for what he really thought of his latest project plan. Then again maybe he would just keep working like normal and the next time someone, anyone said or did anything that annoyed him he would simply announce, "I quit" and walk out the door with no explanation.

It wasn't a matter of 'if', but 'when' he was going to quit working for the soulless defense contractor that had provided him a pretty good living for the last three years.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T04:07:00.001-05:00

Struggling

2008-11-26T16:16:00.003-05:00

It's been a weird week, a lot of shit going on that I can't really talk about and I'm getting more and more gripped up as we get ready to head home to lay BigDaddyRat to rest. This three month delay between Dad dying and his funereal is a nightmare. I'm going to hit some random topics and pop off on what I think.

Craziness in Mumbai - I never really understand what terrorists are trying to prove with shit like this. Seriously, what's the thought process behind this? "Hmm, we're a marginalized group trying to bring attention to our plight and point out the hypocrisy of the world's hegemonic powers. I know what we should do, we should go out and kill a bunch of people that don't have anything to do with what we're pissed off about!!!!" Dopes.

I guess this guy doesn't like W much - Whoa dude, and I thought I didn't like President Bush. I think that Bush43 has done incalculable damage to the United States and its future prospects. However, just like when Clinton was in office, I think even if you don't respect the man have a little respect for the office. You made your point when you called Bush43 "Caligutard," you can just stop there.

I'm actually feeling kind of bad for W these days, he's looking pretty fucking haggard. Eight years in the Oval Office is a tough haul when things are going well, imagine what the last eight years have been like? As much as the DNC nut garglers are counting down the days until W is out of office, I bet no one is more anxious for him to get the fuck out of Dodge than the man himself.

I found this real surprising - Grunfeld is one of the better executives in the NBA so I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. Still, seems a little hasty after extending the coaches contract just a few months ago.

Educating BabyRat

2008-11-25T20:23:00.003-05:00

The school that we've been sending BabyRat to is pretty interesting, not only do they have uniforms but the director enforces the dress code strictly by fining non-conforming parents. I found this out because WifeRat was having a little trouble following the dress code rules. WifeRat says that she follows the rules, but that's total BS; she follows the rules when she agrees with them, but when she disagrees with them then the rules are stupid and arbitrary, the rules are made to benefit capitalists, the rules prop up the penisocracy, the rules are anti-feminist, and so forth.

Coming from a military background, I have a different feeling about uniforms than other people in my house. A uniform is a source of pride and signifies that you're a part of something that's bigger than you as an individual. Wearing a uniform shouldn't be about doing as little as you can and still being in compliance. It's about how sharp can I look? How can I show my pride in myself and my organization by looking as good as I can possibly look in this uniform? This isn't something that my Father ever said aloud, but it was how he lived his life. Neat, clean, and fastidious aren't dirty words.

I swear The Director of this place would have been an awesome drill instructor. She has the trim build and precise manner of every drill instructor I've ever met. The Director would look amazing in one of those Smokey the Bear hats too.

High standards and high performance is the norm at BabyRat's school and I fucking love it!! The assumption is that every kid there can learn and will learn. Of course that's a lot easier to accomplish when you have a self-selected group of families that obviously place a premium on learning and education.

Lately they've been teaching BR's class about consequences and decision making. We found out about this a couple of weeks ago when BR got home from school and started complaining that she didn't get afternoon snack. As is often the case when you're talking to a three year-old, you get the important parts of the story but necessary in the proper order and some important information gets left out entirely. All I could discern was that BabyRat didn't get a snack because some of the other kids took too long.

WifeRat is, of course, distraught. If there's one thing she insists on for BabyRat, it's that she gets to eat and drink when she's hungry and thirsty. So the Wife is all fired up when she hears this, but I calm her down and promise to ask what's up the next day when I drop the kid off at school. The next day I speak to LMS and she tells me that the kids serve themselves at snack and that if there's a problem like the one BabyRat described then those kids go last the next day.

I'm satisfied with this answer and don't give the situation too much more thought until BabyRat starts whining about not getting a snack again a day or two later. Again, I have to talk WifeRat down off the ledge and promise to get more information. This time when I speak to LMS I ask a few more pointed questions about the whole setup for snack time and I finally get to the heart of the matter: the kids have like an hour long time frame when they can get their snack. If they fuck around too long and wait until the end of snack time, then they're short. When I explained all this WifeRat she was mostly OK with it, but still didn't like the idea that BabyRat might not get her afternoon snack. Which is kind of ridiculous because she BRINGS THAT LITTLE HUNGRY HEIFER SOMETHING TO EAT WHEN SHE PICKS HER UP.

Pancake Mountain News - The Melvins Dance Party

2008-11-25T19:17:00.001-05:00

Pancake Mountain News
November 25, 2008

Hey Kids-

After you've eaten all your turkey and your family is driving you crazy come join us for our first LA dance party with THE MELVINS
at the legendary Troubadour club in West Hollywood!

WHERE: Troubadour, 9081 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069

WHEN: show up at 4:30, be ready to dance at 5:00

SIGN UP HERE!

Also, while I've been in LA I managed to edit another exclusive clip from our Kings of Leon Dance Party from eariler this month in DC. Check It Out!!

From sunny L.A.,
your pal,
Rufus Leaking

Pancake Mountain's TV Dance Party with

The Melvins

Saturday, November 29, 2008 at The Troubadour, West Hollywood

Doors open at 4:30pm. Be ready to dance at 5pm

We'll see you there - Don't Miss it!

SIGN UP NOW!

Domestic PsyOps

2008-11-24T14:46:00.003-05:00

I hate to disappoint you, but this post is not about the latest shenanigans of Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzalez. Really it's about BabyRat and the eternal struggle to get her little ass to go to sleep when necessary.

The three Christmases since BabyRat has hit the scene have been pretty low key for her, she didn't totally understand what was going on, even last year. When asked what she wanted for Christmas in 2007 she said that she wanted a wind flower (a pinwheel) and a candy cane, that was it. I can only accept some of the credit for my kid's lack of materialism, I have TiVo to thank for the fact that BabyRat almost never sees commercials. Of course none of this kept BigDaddyRat and MommaRat from buying a small truckload of silliness every Christmas, but I digress.

BabyRat has never been a big fan of going to sleep. She usually sleeps very well once she gets to sleep, but even when we've been in a good groove with her falling to sleep with little or no drama every night she still has an occasional evening when she just won't go to sleep for a couple of hours. For a while I had the situation under control by bouncing her to sleep on my lap every night, but eventually (after a couple of years) that stopped working and it's been an up and down struggle since then.

Thankfully BabyRat's understanding of the world has sharpened considerably since last Christmas and we have finally turned that to our advantage. While last year Santa was an interesting curiousity, this year BR knows that he is the all powerful, all seeing, and all knowing: SANTA!!!

The looming threat of Santa's "Naughty & Nice List" is finally bearing fruit. Since we've been giving a pre-bedtime and pre-naptime hard sell about Santa watching to see if she's naughty or nice for the last couple of days, BabyRat has gone right to sleep. WifeRat pointed out that in the song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" the lyrics specifically mention, "He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake," so obviously we're not the only people who are going down this road.

I know that I want BabyRat to go sleep when I say for my own convenience, but I also know that little kids need their rest. I'm also nervous about what happens after Christmas. Assuming this keeps working, BR will continue to go to sleep with no drama and then will hit paydirt on Christmas but then what? Will she think that she got what she wanted out of the deal and now she can go back to acting an ass at bedtime or will she at some point during the holiday season realize that going to sleep right when she gets in the bed is pretty good and start doing it of her own volition?

Do any of my fair readers have any experience with this? I know at least a couple of people who have commented lately have kids and I have reason to suspect other parents are lurking.

I Actually Dig Fargo

2008-11-23T22:18:00.003-05:00

Despite what some people seem to think, I do like Fargo. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than DC and the people around here are just so damn nice it's kind of weird for an East Coast guy. Over the last couple of weeks I've even had a couple of pretty good meals that had some local flair to them. But best of all, since I've been in Fargo I have sat in traffic exactly twice for a grand total of less than 20 minutes.

Last weekend WifeRat and I arranged for BabyRat to stay with Nanna after we got done making lefse and we went out to dinner. We originally wanted to go to the Silver Moon Supper Club but when we called they couldn't seat us until 9:30 and I know what that means; you don't get to your table until 10 and then you basically get a gavage-style meal of end of the night leftovers. So we decided to stop by the Silver Moon and see if something opened up, which it didn't so we decided to go to the HoDo.

WifeRat had the Bison tenderloin and I had the NY Strip, they were both pretty good. I especially liked the "barley risotto" on the Bison tenderloin, it was a nice little regional touch. We had the Walleye cakes and Shrimp/Scallop gratin to start. The gratin was nice but the walleye cakes were a little underseasoned, which is a constant thing out here.

Two nights ago we went to Doolittle's, they're a small regional franchise with four restaurants in Minnesota and North Dakota. The food there was well above average for the F-M area and I've been to a lot worse restaurants in DC. If your kids like mac & cheese, this is the place; best kid's mac & cheese I've had in a restaurant. I had a "smoked tri-tip" that doesn't appear on the online menu and was served with some excellent mushroom raviolis, a nice plate for $16.

Last night I was out with Slayer from the rugby team, I picked him up from the bar he works at, Rascals. Rascals was unbelievably dead, but I still had to pay a $3 cover to see Whisky Sam from Grand Forks. After we left and I lost $30 playing blackjack at Dempsey's, James (another rugby guy) talked us into going to Old Broadway with him. The less said about OB, the better; imagine the Swerve but with a higher ceiling. We fled OB and went to Rooter's but we got there too late to play Pig Wheel which is what we wanted to do instead of go to OB.

So for all my bitching and moaning about Fargo I'm still managing to have a good time, I just miss DC.

TV

2008-11-23T20:57:00.002-05:00

Technology is wonderful, I'm sitting here right now watching the Sunday Night Football game over the internet. When I realize the NFL could do this with every game if they were so inclined, I get pissed about the monopoly the NFL has granted to Direct TV that denies me the opportunity to see the Raiders week in and week out in the comfort of my home. ESPN's Gregg Easterbrook has been bitching about this for years.

We decided not to get a TV while we're out here in Fargo and for the most part I don't miss it. With the advent of Hulu we can easily watch a lot of TV online and if we're really jonesing we can get stuff like "Mad Men" on iTunes. The only time I really miss having a TV is on Sunday afternoons when football is on.

In Defense of Frat Boys

2008-11-22T14:26:00.001-05:00

I was reading a blog post today and in it there was a swipe at "frat boys." Now I wasn't in a fraternity in college so I don't even know why I care about this, but for some reason I do and I'm gonna speak on it.

One thing that I've noticed over the years is that the folks who are most vehement about their hatred of "frat boys" and "jocks" and anyone else who doesn't fit into their narrow definition of an acceptable lifestyle, are essentially doing the same thing they accuse the frat boys of doing. That is, just lump a group of people together based on a set of assumptions and assume that they're all the same. It's really quite ironic.

Food in Fargo

2008-11-21T21:34:00.004-05:00

I hate to sound like some kind of insufferable "foodie" douche-nozzle but the food in Fargo sucks. I'm finally in a position where I actually have time to go out to eat again and I find myself stuck in culinary hell.

It's not like every time I go out to eat it has to be some sort of transcendent fine dining experience or every morsel I put in my mouth has to be seasonal and locally sourced, but I do enjoy eating. I would like it if there was some sort of local specialty where I could taste test a couple of venerable Fargo dining institutions (like the eternal Pat's vs. Geno's debate in Philly, even though they both suck and the best place to get a cheese steak in Philly is Jim's) and claim some Fargo insider cred by expressing a strong preference.

Alas, it is not to be. Fargo seems to have no entrenched culinary traditions for me to take part in. I ate a fuck load of cheese curds this Summer, both fried and fresh but that's really a Wisconsin tradition.

The closest I've come to any kind of indigineous cuisine is fried walleye. I had some fried walleye this Summer at a couple of different places, but the best fried walleye I had was at one of my Aunt's houses and I helped cook it. While bemoaning the lack of fried walleye the other day, my Father-in-law gets around to informing me that the Legion has fried walleye every Tuesday. I'll give that a whirl soon, but hopefully they won't be serving it with the gawd-awful, sugar-laden tartar sauce that seems to be the norm up here, and if I want some hot sauce for my fish I better bring it myself. If you're lucky enough to actually get some hot sauce it's always Tabasco. I don't have anything against Tabasco, but when I want some hot sauce on my fish I'm looking for some Texas Pete or something in that style of vinegary, not much heat but lots of flavor, hot sauce.

Friday Morning Links

2008-11-21T09:39:00.003-05:00

I'm not quite sure what happened, but it looks like the Cynics' Party morphed into Stinque. Does anyone know what the story is?

Stinque commenter RomeGirl hits the nail on the head when talking about Palin, "She and, I presume, some kind of professional person who is paid to look after her interests, walked around a turkey farm, saw two drains and a bloodbath, and said, RIGHT HERE IS FINE."

The Sexist is 70% man. - Ever wonder what your writing style says about you? I did to and apparently I'm only 65% man.

What's the German Word for Douchebag? - Stunning, guys get a tattoo of whorehouse on their forearms for a lifetime discount. Good ol' progressive Europe!

Criticism of Eric Holder coming from a few different sources - As Ta-Nehisi points out, Obama's rhetoric on drug law enforcement is quite different from what Holder was saying during the Clinton administration. Hopefully the new AG will get with the new boss' program.

The Copy Ranter on Russian Bear vodka ad - CR is right, "real men" WTF? Totally inconsistent with the tone, tenor, and style of the rest of the ad.

From the Root: Busta Rhymes continues to reach out and spread understanding - I'm sorry I even asked if it was fair to brand Busta homophobic. Especially distasteful was Busta glomming onto Obama saying, "After Nov. 4, we gettin' so much new sh**, we gonna call that motherf$#%&@ Ay-rab money." It's an ignorance dog, slathered in stupidity.

Malcolm Gladwell gets put on blast - Saw this link in a tweet from Jay Smooth and dude gives Gladwell the business something fierce.

The Sports Guy - Amazing column on "The Battle of the Network Stars".