There has been mad drama at Death Star, Inc. (DSI) over the last couple of months. Again, we found ourselves embroiled in contract drama that finally culminated in me and several co-workers (including my boss) leaving for a smaller company. It was a good three year run with DSI but I'm excited to go to work for a smaller company where my experience, skills, and connections will be provide me and my employer greater value.
I'll be doing the same job by day at the Department of Stupidity and add some company responsibilities in the areas of proposal writing, marketing, and business development. I started out in the contractor game doing tech support and I've been attempting to run away from that field at full speed since then, so this is a move I've been trying to make for a while. Even though this will certainly mean I'll actually have to work kind of hard for the first time in years, I'm also a bit excited about work.
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So last Wednesday I got a text from NylonThread informing me that DCist was having its 5th birthday party at the H St Country Club and invited me to come on down. I ended up being able to make it down there and, trying to make the best of a short night out, I immediately pounded a Jim Beam & Coke. For whatever reason, I wasn't finding the mixed drink satisfying so on my next round I asked for a shot of Beam and a beer. As I'm picking up my drink, I see something floating in it and it turns out there about a half dozen fruit flies in my shot. I inform the bartender, she immediately cracks open a fresh bottle and replaces the shot.
Not too long after that, Guns & Roses starts playing on the juke box and I take that as my cue to take Monkeyrotica, NylonThread, and IMGoph down to Little Miss Whiskey's Golden Dollar (Sorry Mark). I get my check and I'm flabbergasted to find that I was charged for the shot with the flies in it. I ask the bartender about it and she says, "Well I gave you a new shot" as if somehow that excuses her from serving me a drink with bugs in it.
Now I worked in a few bars and restaurants back in the day and the solemn promise I made to myself when I left that behind was that I was never going to be one of those assholes that talked a bunch of smack about working in the industry and proceeded to tip %15 or be an obnoxious douche who felt the need to correct every waiter and bartender on the finer points of service. So when this dipshit bartender acted like she was doing me a favor by replacing an insect-laden drink I let the shit ride, gave her a %20 tip and headed downstairs.
Problem was I couldn't let the shit go, so while I'm waiting for everyone else to get ready to break out, I quickly outlined the story to the guy working the door and asked him his opinion. He seemed to agree with me, but he called a manager over. So I tell her the story too. At this point I'm paid up, I don't want another drink and I don't even want my money back; I just want to get the fuck out there and go to a place that appreciates my patronage a little bit more. Well this fuckstick manager gives me a bunch of nut roll about how "in the industry" if a mistake is made and they make it right it's perfectly OK to charge the customer and she was actually correct about that. It is OK to charge a customer for a corrected mistake, but doing so doesn't usually win you any loyal customers.
I actually wasn't going to write about this incident. It's a little too close to a "I'm a blogger, fear my poison pen" tantrum for my liking, but the shit didn't sit well with me. The bartender and manager's reactions tell me that the folks staffing the place don't have a good grasp on what their job is or how to do it. I received only the most perfunctory apology and neither the bartender nor the manager made any mention of appreciating my business or hoping that I would come back so they could knock my socks off next time.
I dunno if it's just that the places I bartended I had more autonomy or what, but I would have NEVER charged someone for a mistake like that and depending on the surrounding situation may have just comped the whole check. While discussing this with Monkey and the crew down the street, he made the point that margins are thin on H St. and HSCC is generally populated by douches trucking in from 'burbs in a futile attempt to be edgy and cool. In that context it actually makes sense to hold the line on giving out free drinks. The last thing you want is for the word on the street to be that you're an easy mark for a couple of free drinks for some Tucker Max wannabes from Arlington.
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I'm not quite sure how this happened, but for the first time in several years I feel like I have some kind of idea what's going on in the NFL. I didn't realize this until last weekend when I found myself making a convincing argument that the Raiders are going to the playoffs this season. Am I a deluded lifelong fan of the Silver & Black? Yes, but that doesn't mean that I'm wrong. Keep reading to find out why the Raiders are going to finish above .500, make the playoffs, and could take the AFC West.
The Raider's O-Line is a big question mark going into this season, but they signed a couple of guys this off season to create some competition for the tackle spots. Barnes is a devastating run blocker who cleared huge holes for the Jaguars rushing attack last season. Henderson showed a little something late in the season in 2008 and can provide Raider's QB JaMarcus Russell the time he needs to get the ball downfield. Robert Gallery didn't become the anchor of the line at left tackle that he was predicted to be, but is well on his way to becoming a Pro Bowl caliber guard.
The Raider's troika of running backs Justin Fargas, Darren McFadden, and Michael Bush will provide the necessary depth in the backfield to weather the punishment of a 16 game season. I'm predicting that McFadden lives up to the flashes of brilliance he showed last year and will rush for 1400 yards this season. Remember, you heard it here first.
Rather than regurgitate what has been written elsewhere about the Raider wide outs, I'll just give you a link to the bleacherreport breakdown. Teams are going to have pick their poison this season, stack the box to slow down the Raiders' running game and let JaMarcus go deep on that ass or commit to stopping the passing game and let the three headed monster of McFadden, Fargas, and Bush run buck-motherfucking-wild.
The Raiders' defense has some players, but has yet to come together as a cohesive unit. The big story right now is the addition of Richard Seymour to the defensive front. That is, assuming he plays for the Raiders this season.
The real deal though is that the AFC West is weak and whack. The Chargers won the division last season with an 8-8 record, LT has peaked as a premier NFL running back, he's getting long in the tooth and brittle and the Chargers weren't even sure they wanted him back this season. Merriman can't seem to stay out of the headlines; popped for steroid use in 2006 and now he's caught a charge for choking a 90 pound woman. Add in Rivers' bloated contract, the ham-fisted GM-ing of AJ Smith, and Norv Turner as head coach and that doesn't sound like a winning team.
As for the rest of the West the Chiefs are terrible and the Broncos are starting Kyle Orton at quarterback. This is a division that is ripe for the picking.
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Earlier this week I heard one of the patrons at Peregrine asking some dude when the pizza joint (in the spot formerly occupied by Ben & Jerry's on 7th St SE) is opening up. The reply was that they were going to be opening some time next week. I was rolling by the place today and saw this sign up in the window.
7th Hill Pizza also had their sign up
But perhaps more important than all of that, they seem to have all of their administrative ducks in a row too.
I am waiting for this opening with bated breath, in the hopes that my days of trucking out to Valentino's for a decent pie are over.
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At 1:12pm on July 6, 2009 our family became complete when we were joined by the Littlest Rat. LR weighed in at 10 pounds 12 ounces and when he was born the midwife told WifeRat, "Congratulations, you just gave birth to a two month old!!"
It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks. If you saw my last blog post, that was sent from Jimmy Valentine's Lonely Hearts Club after I had taken the family to Ocean City for a day trip to the beach. Why go all the way to Ocean City when North Beach/Chesapeake Beach is less than an hour away? Well, WifeRat needed to get to the ocean while she was pregnant. A couple of months ago I had promised her we would get to the ocean before the baby was born and I had to, as BabyRat would say, "Keep it a promise."
The next weekend was the 4th of July. So naturally there was a cookout (organized by others in the building), fireworks, and much excitement. WR only made a brief appearance, just long enough for everyone to gawk at her big belly, before retreating back to air conditioned comfort.
I'm also happy to report that on the 4th of July we met a new babysitter! BabySitterRat is 16 and her and BR are in love with each other, they spent a good portion of the late afternoon/early evening on the 4th playing together and seem to be a perfect match. When I asked BabySitterRat's parents about her working for us, her Dad asked me, "Does your child ever hear the N-word in your house?" I was stunned and didn't know what to say, mostly because I drop the N-bomb all the time around the house*.
So I'm standing there giving this guy a blank look going, "Humina, humina, humina," when he breaks into a broad smile and says, "I meant the word 'no'." He goes on to explain that BSR had been taking care of some kid, told him he couldn't do something, and the parents came home and gave her a raft of shit for "disciplining" their child. At this point he got involved and told BSR's former employers they were idiots and decided that after that incident he needed to find out where people's heads were at before he allowed his daughter to work for them. Seeing as how I'm the kind of guy who wanted to talk to him *before* I hired his daughter to look after my kid, I don't think we'll have any problems.
Finally, the Monday after the 4th of July, WifeRat woke me up and informed me that she was in labor while weeping tears of joy. We hugged excitedly and cheered our good fortune that I could just take BR to school while she delivered the baby before I went back to sleep. I was buffeted by twin feelings of panic and calm as BR and I had a fairly normal 7am start to a school day. The morning started so normal (with the exception of calling the mid-wife and birth assistant) that the original plan was for me to stop for coffee after I dropped BR at school.
By the time I actually left to take BR to school, WifeRat reported that her contractions had started coming fast & furious. When BabyRat was born WR went into labor about the same time (4am-ish) and we didn't even go to the birth center until 2pm, but it was pretty clear that the LittlestRat was coming and coming quickly. WifeRat talked on the phone to Go To Girl while I ran BR to school real quick.
I won't get into all the details of the birth, but I must confess that I did fall asleep for about 25 minutes towards the end of the birth while holding one of WifeRat's leg aloft. What I will say is how awesome our midwife and birth assistant were through out the whole birth experience, I can't imagine that we could have had two more thoughtful, kind, encouraging, and professional women attending LR's birth. They were truly amazing and I will spend the rest of my life being grateful to them for helping my wife bring my son into the world.
*I find it most hilarious to address my Irish/German/Norwegian wife who hails from North Dakota as, "Nigga." Of course WifeRat doesn't find it nearly as funny as I do, but sometimes she'll let out a titter of amusement in spite of herself.
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Over at Stinque they say, "If it smells, we're on it" and they didn't miss this rather hilarious story. Of course I tweeted that shit and now I'm posting a link to the BBC story here on my blog just in case anyone missed it.
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