Sporting Debut

It's Saturday morning, BabyRat is having her second piece of fruit, the Backyardigans are on the TV, WifeRat is making oatmeal, and in two and a half hours my daughter will participate in her first (kind of) organized sporting event.

Earlier this week I signed BabyRat up for soccer. After getting a new rugby ball and calendar of the U.S. Women's Rugby 7's team last week, BR was all hyped up to play rugby. I had to explain to her that there was no rugby for kids her age (6 is the cutoff) in this area and asked if she wanted to play soccer. I got a very enthusiastic positive response from BR and so the next day I signed her up online.

I think I'm just as excited as she is.

Read More...

Summary only...

On Blast: Ludlow-Taylor ES

I'm experimenting with a new, regular column called "On Blast." This will be a weekly rant column published on Thursdays where I go off about some person, place, or thing that has angered me over the last week and put them on blast. Be warned, there will lots of profanity and wishes for the painful and complete annihilation of the object of my ire. The hope is that this will keep the invective out my regular blog posts.

As regular readers of this blog know, since about this time last year WifeRat and I have been trying to figure out where to send BabyRat to school. During this time I have attended various open houses, community meetings, and PTA Meetings in an attempt to find a scholastic home for our daughter.

Rather than apply to a school and potentially take a spot from a student who would be in school for the entire 2008-2009 school year, our search for a school was temporarily placed on hold while we were on our six month trip to the Fargo-Moorhead area. We were lucky enough to find a wonderful Montessori school in Moorhead that BabyRat attended for the six months we were out of town.

Ever mindful of the clusterfuck that is DCPS, rather than calling some sort of central administration office, we started calling Ludlow-Taylor ES (LTES) early in the month of December to get some more information about the 3 year-old program available at the school and to find out exactly what needed to be done to enroll BabyRat. A conservative estimate is that we called the principal of LTES a dozen times over the course of a few weeks and were unable to ever get her on the phone. We tried calling first thing in the morning, at lunch time, and after the school day was over to no avail. We left messages over and over again, we asked the people who did answer the phone when was the best time to call and followed their suggestions but couldn't ever get the elusive Principal Cobbs on the phone.

I have numerous friends who are or were public school teachers in a variety of locales around the country, so I understand that the very nature of an elementary school is that it is a hectic place with a never ending stream of small fires that have to be put out. Every teacher and administrator's focus should be on the students within the school walls, perhaps to the exclusion of all other concerns. But am I expecting too much to think that some time over the course of the month that a principal can find ten minutes to return one of a dozen messages left for them?

I honestly wasn't expecting much and would have been satisfied if Principal Cobbs (or one of her staff members) had simply called back to say that they would prefer that we came in and talked face to face. I could have lived with it if someone from the school directed us to a website or other resource where we could find all the necessary forms and information we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS. Instead we got a whole bunch of nothing except for one conversation I had with the Kindergarten Special Ed teacher who gave me a brief outline of what the 3-4 year old class does over the course of the day.

This past Friday we stopped by LTES to see if anyone was around and did find the school's business manager hard at work. When I introduced myself, the business manager immediately recognized my name and informed me that my messages had been getting passed on to Principal Cobbs. The business manager was very helpful and was able to track down and give us copies of all the forms we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS.

My first question is, given the enormous administrative overhead of DCPS as a system and the individual school at LTES, why isn't there a standardized enrollment packet for students entering DCPS? All of the forms are actually available online, but the enrollment checklist on the DCPS website makes no mention whatsoever of the School Health Requirement Packet!! The mind boggles at such a ludicrous and obvious oversight.

Now we have all the forms we need to get BabyRat into the potential destroying maw of DCPS. WifeRat diligently spends a couple of hours filling out the forms and pawing through boxes trying to find the necessary records over the weekend. We head to LTES on Monday morning before the school actually opens to students to see if we can finally get an audience with the oft spoken of, never heard from, Principal Cobbs.

Finally, at long last, we are granted an appearance with the Wizard of LTES. Even though I'm a large and loud guy, my basic nature is to avoid confrontation but I'm so incensed about the lack of communication that I immediately ask Principal Cobbs why she never called back. Rather than bothering to introduce herself or apologizing or accepting any kind of responsibility for a missed connection, Principal Cobbs gave me a pallid look and says that she's never heard my name. I know that I can't afford to piss off the Principal (in the first five minutes we meet) at a school my kid is attending, so I have to let the shit go. I move to the business at hand and quickly lay out our situation and ask if we can observe the 3-4 year old classroom.

Observing the 3-4 year old class was the highlight of our visit to LTES. The teacher, Ms. Johnson, was energetic, enthusiastic, and engaged with her students. The kids started off the day with "circle time" (something they also do at Montessori schools) and BabyRat was allowed to participate. Ms. Johnson displayed the kind of poise and kindness that you want to see in an early childhood educator; she was firm and warm, inviting but in control, all at the same time. While we were in the classroom, we had occasion to speak to the Mother of a new student who had pulled her kid out of a charter school in favor of LTES.

Eventually we decided that we had seen enough and left the classroom to talk to the school nurse about what, if any problems, there were with BabyRat's health records. We get the runaround from the nurse about exactly what we have to do before BabyRat can start school (there's s dental requirements that the school principal has some discretion on) and go back to the office to wait for Principal Cobbs to show up again.

Before I continue, allow me to recount Principal Cobbs' shameful performance in the school cafeteria in leading the Pledge of Allegiance. It was clear to me that the kids (and the teachers) at the school have little respect or affection for Principal Cobbs. Back in the day (yes, I'm old timing now) when we had our weekly assembly or whatever and the principal stepped in front of the assembled masses, we shut the fuck up without being told. If there ever was a need for the principal to do something to get our attention, not much more than a simple clearing of the throat was needed to render the room silent. Principal Cobbs seemed unable to command even a modicum of order in the cafeteria and simply relied on the PA system to overwhelm the noise in the room while she cajoled a couple of older kids into leading a, not even, half-hearted recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance.

While I was waiting around for Principal Cobbs, BabyRat was in the gym with the class we had just been observing. During that time she had to go to the bathroom and WifeRat reported that they were UNSAT. You would think that after the school had been closed for the last two weeks that the bathrooms would be, if not clean, at least not gross. Realizing that Principal Cobbs wasn't showing up any time soon, we finally left the school. As soon as we were out the door WifeRat told me that she didn't want to send BabyRat to LTES and I agreed.

It wasn't any one thing that was wrong that was a deal breaker, but it was a death by a thousand cuts kind of thing. The accumulation of minor issues demonstrated a lack of attention to detail and a failure of leadership that I attribute to Principal Cobbs. I could go on, but anything I say now would just be gratuitous 'cause you get the point.

Read More...

Summary only...

BigDaddyRat - Lessons Learned

As I think back on the things that I learned from my Father, one thing strikes me. The lessons that I really took to heart; the things that are always with me and form the moral and theoretical underpinnings of who I am as a person; are the teachings that my Father didn't speak of but were conveyed to me through the way he lived his life.

There have been plenty of times when I've been fucked over in my life. Work, school, and athletics all provided me with plenty of gut wrenching and heart breaking experiences, some of which left me bitter and quite angry. Without ever saying a word the COL (as my Father is often referred to) managed to let me know that the idea of revenge was petty and beneath me. That any effort that I might have thought to put into some sort of hare brained scheme to get back at someone; to try and damage someone's reputation, to attempt to harm their business prospects, no matter how richly deserved; cheapened me as a person.

When I was being forged by these experiences, it always burned me to think that a person fucked me and "got away with it." In the fullness of time I have come to realize that's not true. You don't leave those situations with nothing, you come away from them more mature, more patient, wiser, but most importantly, you walk away with your dignity intact. There's no promotion, no amount of money, no possession that can replace your dignity.

The COL taught me about hard work; not by lecturing me about it, but by letting me see him working his ass off everyday. My Dad never had to tell me to get a job, when the time was right I decided for myself to start working. When I started working I gave it everything I had, it didn't matter that I was making minimum wage selling shoes at an outlet mall, it was a job and I owed it and myself my best effort. One of the biggest bursts of pride I ever felt in my life was when I was fucking up in school and my Dad told me he wasn't worried about me because I knew how to work. It was a powerful moment of validation that told me my Father accepted me as a man and knew that I had a man's resolve to overcome whatever obstacles were in my way.

Secure in the knowledge that I had my Father's respect as a working man, I always strived to make sure that I continued to be worthy of that respect. It is not always easy, there are the inevitable shortcuts to take and corners to cut when it comes to work. But what he ultimately taught me was there is right way to do things and wrong way and the choice to do the wrong thing is no choice at all.

Father, husband, athlete, warrior are all words used to describe the COL, there's no one who ever met BigDaddyRat that questioned his manhood. He was a man's man, from the bottom of his size 16 feet going up six feet six and a half inches to the top of the pointy head that we share. Tough and strong, smart and brave. These were the words that described my Father but through the way he lived his life he taught me that it was just as important (perhaps more so) that a man be kind and gentle, loving and merciful. There is no doubt that this is the most important lesson he taught me.

There are so many fucked up conceptions of manhood out there, I eternally humbled and grateful that I had a Father who showed me the right way to be a man. Who showed me with his every thought, word, and deed that the measure of a man is not kills on the battlefield or money in the bank or notches on the bedpost, but rather how does he use what he has to help others?

I love you Dad and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be a scintilla of the man that you were.

Read More...

Summary only...

Dad Talk

I'm just gonna talk about being a Dad and how much I love my little girl. She's a laugh riot, tough as nails, and a kind, gentle, and caring soul.

One thing I've noticed since I became a Dad is that kid's TV is trippy as all hell. One morning when BabyRat was about a year old, I watched this show called Boobah with her; I thought my coffee was dosed with acid, the shit was just bizarre. The other thing that slays me about kid's shows is the random cameos. Whilst watching yet another whacked out kid's show the other day, Yo Gabba Gabba, who shows up on screen? Biz Markie, beatboxing about happy birthday.

Lest you think all I do is watch TV with my kid, you couldn't be more wrong. In fact, we don't even have a TV out here in Fargo. Even when we're at home we actually keep the TV on pretty tight lockdown, it's not unusual for BabyRat to go several days running without seeing any TV at all during the week. The weekend is a slightly different story and the Wife and I will often allow the Doodler (one of several nicknames I have for her) to suck on the glass tit for an hour so we can get some sleep.

The weather out here is getting cold in a hurry, which means that our trips to the park will be ending soon. Going to the park with BabyRat is one of the great pleasures of my life. When BabyRat and I are on our way to the park it gives us this incredible opportunity to talk to each other and for me to really get to know this little person who has added so much to my life.

I never cease to be amazed at how tough and resilient my child is. Just the other day BabyRat took off ahead of me and took a header over the handlebars of her skuut bike, as I ran over to make sure she was OK she popped up and said, "I'm OK, I'm an athlete!!" You should have seen the smile on my face when she said that. As tough and strong as my kid is, I just hope I can avoid the temptation to become some sort of insane Sports Dad.

BabyRat, you fill my bucket.

Read More...

Summary only...

The Zoo Was a Zoo

In our family I'm the designated field trip parent. For the most part I don't mind, the circus was a boatload of fun and I probably had a better time than BabyRat. Today's trip to the zoo was a bit more hectic than I had expected.

First of all, it looked like half the elementary schools in Metro DC were there today. BabyRat and I usually make it to the zoo 3-4 times a year and I've never seen it close to being as crowded as it was today. It was fucking bedlam!!

There was also no real plan on the part of the teachers, but BabyRat and I ended up hanging with a pretty cool Dad and his kid for most of the trip. Everyone made it back in one piece.

Read More...

Summary only...

Drowning in a Tidal Wave of Pee

BabyRat has been potty-trained for a good long time now; when we first started putting her in underwear we had the inevitable accidents and it was no big deal. We kept her in diapers at night for a while because it was easier, but eventually we let that go too knowing full well that we were going to have some night time accidents. Things were going really well, and for a couple of weeks BabyRat stopped having accidents altogether and I thought we were done with potty training. Unfortunately, like so many other times in my life, I was wrong, Wrong, WRONG!

First the night time accidents came back, so we started taking her to the bathroom about two hours after she went to sleep and that seemed to help. If the problem had remained confined to the night time hours I could have lived with it, but now BabyRat is having day time accidents again.

BR pissed herself twice this morning and I got a slightly frantic and annoyed phone call from her daycare class teacher. So I go downstairs to the daycare center and talk to BR for a little while, she wiggles around and doesn't answer my questions for a little while. I keep on asking questions and getting some nonsense answers, but I plod ahead until BR finally tells me that she's peeing on herself because she "wants attention."

Now I had been telling my wife this for a while and she would get mad at me saying that BR is too young to know what's up, but I knew better. When I finally got WifeRat on the phone I was irked 'cause I had to stop working to go home and get clean clothes and I couldn't get her on the phone when the shit (piss really) was hitting the fan. After relating the entire episode to WR, she finally agreed that BR was peeing her pants to get attention.

WR says that every information source is in agreement that you can't punish kids about any of the bathroom stuff. OK, fine but what the hell are you supposed to do? As far as I can tell we're losing this battle; BR wants attention, so she pees on herself. Then we have to clean her up and put clean clothes on her, so she's getting the attention she wants.

The question is: what now?

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!!

Read More...

Summary only...

Community Meeting at Ludlow-Taylor (continued)

What Happened

I’m freaked out, I don’t know that I’ve ever been a part of a large-scale meeting or conversation that so accurately reflected our current national debate on race, class, education, and gentrification. All the usual suspects were there: well meaning White liberals who “just want to help”, outraged parents of current students (current stats show that NO children classified as “White” attend LT, take that for what it’s worth), and teachers & administrators caught between the two groups.

After Chancellor Rhee yielded the floor things heated up. A group called ‘Friends of Ludlow-Taylor’ (FoLT) seemed to be getting ready to start leading the meeting but they were interrupted by a parent of a currently enrolled student. He didn’t introduce himself to the crowd, but related an anecdote about getting the run around when he tried to find out more information about FoLT. The Gentleman went on at length, talking about his family’s fifty year roots in the neighborhood, gave a few thoughts on the meaning of gentrification, and finished up by saying, “They’re runnin’ game.”

People then moved into small (8-10 person) facilitated groups. I missed the initial setup while talking to someone, so I didn’t hear the instructions, but I ended up with an agenda and a page with the questions the facilitator was asking on it. The questions weren’t exactly meaningless boilerplate, but they didn’t seem to be much more than a jumping off point for how the people in attendance were going to remake the curriculum and programs of LT. At this point I kind of started wandering around a bit.

I moved over to another table to see how things were going there, the second facilitator seemed to have a slightly better grip on her group. At this second table I got a chance to speak with Dr. Pressler, the current principal of LT. Dr. Pressler struck me as a dedicated and committed educator, he explained to me that some sort of grant proposal had been submitted for him to sign off on that detailed an out of control school. Naturally no principal worth anything would allow themselves to be denigrated like that, so he refused to cooperate.

Judging from what I saw on the posters around the neighborhood, it looks like FoLT expected a new principal to be named at last night’s meeting, but that didn’t appear to be the case. However, WifeRat was still there when Chancellor Rhee was speaking about Dr. Pressler and came away with a different impression.

Analysis

It looks like a group of well intentioned parents got together outside of the regular channels of the school system to discuss how they could improve LT. It also appears that in their enthusiasm to try and raise the level of achievement at LT, these same parents neglected to include the current administration and parents in their plans. Understandably, the parents of the kids that already go to school there are a little pissed about a cabal of people coming in and attempting what could easily be interpreted as a coup.

Another thing that came out while I was talking to various people at last night’s community meeting was the fact that apparently Chancellor Rhee had met with FoLT and cancelled a meeting with the LT PTA. In her defense, Chancellor Rhee promised to correct that oversight (or diss, depends on who you ask) in the immediate future, but it’s a little strange that the Chancellor of DCPS would meet with a group of people whose children don’t attend a DCPS.

The one teacher I spoke to said that she and a couple of other teachers had been denied admittance to FoLT. I don’t know if it was an oversight or an intentional slight, but it strikes me as kind of strange that a group trying to help a school wouldn’t want input from the teachers at the school.

Now I'm finally ready to mention the big ol' elephant in the room: race. Let's be serious shall we? It's obvious that the members of FoLT are working off the standard model of participation (The Peace Corps, Teach for America, VISTA, etc.) for White people who "want to make a difference". Swoop in with the ink just barely dry on their diplomas, do some stuff that doesn't affect the structural/institutional forces that created the conditions they're trying to correct, and then leave feeling good about themselves. All the while completely ignoring the input and experiences of the people they're allegedly there to "help". I'll stop now because I'm enjoying this a little too much.

Don't think I'm going to let Black people off the hook, I'm not. When I asked if PTA meetings were usually this well attended (see the previous post) one of the parents I met during the table discussions clued me in to the fact that PTA meetings usually had less than five attendees. But the very idea that some White people were "trying to take over the school" had the parents of LT's current students crawling over each other to get to this meeting.

Conclusion

I'm not sure what the hell is going on at Ludlow-Taylor, it seems like everyone is mad at everyone who's not in their little clique. The one thing I saw that made me hopeful was that there were a lot of different people representing disparate interests and rather than folks just pitching a fit and storming out or throwing up their hands in frustration that their carefully laid plans had gone astray, people stayed and talked to one and other. Really, that was about all I could have hoped for out of that meeting.

Read More...

Summary only...