Spiritual Renewal, Pt. 1

Since the Super Bowl, I've been drying out a bit; partly in sympathy with my pregnant wife and partly 'cause I had really been getting after it for the last couple of months. Like DC, Fargo is a hard drinking city. Out there it's rare to go to someone's home and not be offered a beer at pretty much any time of the day or night, I was very much at home out there. The drinking culture of Fargo combined with an intense desire to avoid my feelings about BigDaddyRat's death led me to "self medicate" as they say. It's not like I was walking around hammered all the time, but rare was the day when I didn't have a drink or five.

I knew that the full force of my Father's death wouldn't really hit me until we got back to DC. Even though I'm mostly convinced it was to my benefit, I'm still debating whether or not it's a good or bad thing that I was in Fargo when Dad died. Fargo was my own personal la-la land, a working vacation where I didn't have to deal with real life and could largely avoid my family and situations that would make me think of my Dad.

As I finished squeezing whatever residual buzz was still in my liver over the last couple of weeks I started feeling worse and worse. I haven't been getting shit done at work, I haven't been taking care of other shit I need to get done, and I've generally been kind of zoned out and quiet. I manage to muster up some chit-chat with other parents when I'm out at the park with BabyRat, but whenever I'm not directly engaged with someone I easily get lost in my own thoughts.

I've buried four grandparents and a few other relatives and family friends that I was varying degrees of close with, so I thought that I knew how to handle death pretty well. Even so, I found myself unprepared for the emotional weight of the sudden (and very unexpected) death of my Father. Thankfully the last time we saw each other we had shared a couple of laughs and told each other "I love you", but we still had some serious unfinished business between us that will now never be resolved.

Ever the generous spirit, Dad had started us down the road towards setting things straight with an off-hand remark not too long before we left for Fargo. I had meant to go have lunch with him before we left town, but when we kept having schedule conflicts I didn't make it a priority. I just assumed that we had all the time we needed to finally put all our bullshit to bed. So if anyone reading this has something they need to get right with their parents or anyone else in their life, I'm begging you DO IT NOW!!! Do not wait, do not assume that you will have an opportunity to get to it later because that may not be the case.

So the point of me telling you all of this, was that I've been feeling down the last couple of weeks. Not some melodramatic, "My father died and I'm gonna spend the rest of my life regretting XYZ," nonsense; but more like I'm just really bummed the fuck out that he's gone. I won't ever get to whip his monkey ass out on the golf course again, he won't get to meet my second kid, and we'll never get to work together again and get it right this time. I don't have regrets, but I'm wistful about the future that we had been envisioning for ourselves that's never going to come now.

This post was about the trip down, next post will be about heading back up again.

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#2

I think everyone who should know already knows so I can go ahead and post about this now, but WifeRat is pregnant again. We're all excited and happy to be adding to our family, especially BabyRat who is eagerly anticipating her new role as a big sister. WifeRat's baby bump is noticeable now and BR & myself spend a good part of each evening rubbing on it and telling "Sprinkle" (so named because that's how big the baby was, the size of a sprinkle, when we told BabyRat) how excited we are to meet them when they arrive the first week in July. I use a gender neutral "they" 'cause we keep it old school and don't find out the baby's sex until they're born.

I'm not a weird-o with a pregnancy fetish, but my wife is never so beautiful to me as she is when she's pregnant and aglow with the light of a new life inside her.

The life of a family man who is doing right by his fam is not an easy one. One of the advantages that men have over women is that we have the luxury of acknowledging our conflicting feelings about family life without being made to feel guilty about our occasional ambivalence. Unlike my wife, I have no problem saying, "Yo, shit is too hectic for me I'm going out with the fellas for a couple of cocktails tonight." I feel no shame for saying that my wife and kid are getting on my nerves and quite honestly I don't know why any woman would have a problem saying that either, but it seems like they do.

Right now I'm worried about what this second child is going to cost me. Not financially (I already know the answer to that: a fuckload), but in terms of how much of my life is left for me. Part of my feelings right now have to do with the time of the year. When rugby ends in the Fall sometime in early November, the holidays follow soon after, and then the NFL playoffs come right after that. The holidays and football provide me with some built-in excuses to go chill and get a couple of hours to myself every week, but once football season is over there's usually about 4-6 weeks before rugby starts up again where I'm just kind of stuck in the house all the time and tend to get a bit stir crazy. But there's more to it than just that right now.

I've got a pregnant wife, a three year-old who's getting ready to lose her status as the center of the universe, and a Mother who is grieving the loss of her husband of over 40 years. All of these people need me right now and they all need a lot from me, more than they usually do. I work hard for my family and to continue to work hard for them I need time and space to recharge my batteries, those things are in short supply these days. I feel as if I'm no one's priority right now; I'm getting ready to have a second kid and I'm still dealing with my Father's death, but that seems to pass by most of the people in my life almost without notice.

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More Movie Reviews w/MC RoboChrist

From an e-mail from MC RoboChrist

Ok, so I've finally seen what is probably the best movie of the year. While it isn't a classic and no one will be surprised by my choice, you gotta see this move.

Gran Torino - *** 1/2 - Clint does it again, falling just short of three late-era masterpieces (Million-Dollar Baby, Mystic River and Unforgiven) with a smart movie in the minimalist style of Million-Dollar Baby. If anything, that is its main failing - it's a bit TOO simple cinematically. There are maybe a half-dozen settings, and you get little sense of the town being a Chicago suburb, rather than, say, a New York or Boston suburb. ... But that's splitting hairs. The story is filled with the surprises Clint's been giving us ever since he stopped playing some version of Dirty Harry/Blondie (fun as that was) with Unforgiven. And unlike Unforgiven, where you think you knew what's coming at the end and were right, trust me - in this one, you don't. And you'll think about that ending for hours if not days after you leave the theatre. ... The true acid test was Mrs. RoboChrist, a non-Clint fan, who declared this her favorite film of the year before I had a chance to cast judgment. ... While the story could have been message-y (old white racist living in Asian neighborhood finds redemption), Clint never stops showing this character's racism - in some of the funniest dialogue he's ever uttered - in every scene, and at every race, right up to the finish. In deciding to defend his Asian next-door neighhors against a local gang, Clint isn't looking for redemption as much as he's acting on principle. That alone makes it the smartest, if not the best, film of the year. The world is not black and white, and neither is this story. Clint's character is a bad man with a few good qualities, not a bad man who becomes good. ... Somehow, Hollywood missed this one altogether. No nominations, which I attribute more to Clint's decision to cast (other than himself as lead) a no-name cast of largely minority characters. Fuck the Academy. Go see this movie.

Rachel Getting Married - **1/2 - Decent film, with the best attribute being a smart depiction of an addict in recovery by Anne Hathaway (surprisingly good). It avoids the Hollywood myth that addicts are either doomed to die miserably (Leaving Las Vegas) or instantly cured after the miracle program (Clean and Sober, 28 Days) - all of which presumes that the drug/drink itself it the addict's sole issue. Hathaway's character, set loose the weekend of her sister's wedding, battles not just the urge to drink or use, but her own immaturity and emotional baggage (including one REALLY large bag), the pressure of the wedding, and family members who each have major issues of their own. You know - reality, which Hollywood rarely does well. One scene - Hathaway makes 12-step style amends to her sister in front the entire family during her rehearsal dinner toast - is about the most uncomfortable thing I've seen in a movie. Throughout, you're left wondering not only if she's going to use again, which you expect at every turn, but whether she'll survive the weekend. The movie falls shorts, though, mainly because the director/writer either ran out of dialogue and usable footage or because the filmmakers fell in love with what was an admittedly cool soundtrack. Minutes at a time are spent watching the characters dance to and/or listen to the wedding band. It gets repititive and made me wonder if there were only 75 minutes of script, so they pushed the movie closer to 2 hours by adding music videos.

WALL-E - ** - Great animation, but the over-the-top message - oh, we are ruining the environment; oh, we're such lazy fucks! - was only slightly less insulting when Al Gore spewed it in An Inconvenient Truth. Thirty minutes in, I was bored. Plus, it wasn't funny. Unless they are billed as graphic novels or avant-garde animated horror, cartoons are supposed to make you laugh. Meh.


See Gran Torino, or eat a dick.

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2009 SUMMER PROGRAMS FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS

I got an e-mail about this stuff from one of my uncles and I thought it may be of use to folks out there. Read more for all the details. -HR

FREE!! MIT announces its MITES Program, a challenging 6 week summer program that prepares promising rising seniors for careers in engineering and science. If you are selected, all educational, housing, meals and activity costs are covered. You must, however, pay for your own transportation to and from MIT. To apply, go to http://mit.edu/mites. Deadline is Feb. 2.

GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY Science & Engineering Apprenticeship program (summer) -Applications due: Feb. 27, 2009 - This program places academically talented H.S. students (at least 16 yrs old, sophomores/ juniors) with interest in science & math in Dept. of Defense laboratories for an 8-wk period over the summer. This is an invaluable experience in the world of scientific research, with hands-on exposure to scientific & engineering practices not available in the HS environment. It is a paid apprenticeship ($2,000) and the students are assigned a scientist or engineer as their mentor. To apply online or get more information about the program: http://www.usaeop.com/.

FREE!! Princeton University announces its Summer Journalism Program for low-income sophomores or juniors with at least a 3.5 GPA (on a 4.0 scale) who have an interest in journalism. The cost is free including travel costs to and from Princeton! Apply now! Go to www.princeton.edu/sjp. Deadline is Jan. 23. Please note: The deadline has been extended to February 20, 2009 (11:59 p.m.).

FREE!! The National Center for Health Marketing's Global Health Odyssey Museum is pleased to offer the 2009 CDC Disease Detective Camp (DDC). DDC is an academic day camp for students who will be high school juniors and seniors during the 2009-2010 school year. Campers will take on the roles of disease detectives and learn how CDC safeguards the nation's health. The camp will be offered twice from June 22-26 and July 13-17. For more info and to apply to go www.cdc.gov/gcc/exhibit/camp.htm. Deadline is April 20.

FREE!! The American Legion sponsors a week-long summer leadership program called Boys State. [Editor's Note: there is also a similar program called Girls State] This year's program will be held at McDaniel College in Westminster, Maryland from June 21-27. If you are a junior interested in a leadership opportunity see your guidance counselor right away for more information.

NASA sponsors the National Space Club Scholars Program, a 6 week summer internship at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center. It is open to students who will be 16 years old and have completed the 10th grade by June 2009, have demonstrated high academic success, and have an interest in space science or engineering as a career. Applicants must be U.S. citizens. Applications are available online at www.education.gsfc.nasa.gov/pages/placement.html Apply now! The application must be postmarked by February 17, 2009.

University of Maryland, College Park: Women in Engineering, E2@UMD, July 12-18 or July 19-25; rising juniors and seniors. Go to www.wie.umd.edu/precollege or call 301-405-3283 University of Maryland Young Scholars Program targets rising juniors and seniors who have a strong academic record and a desire to excel to experience college life while earning three academic credits. 14 courses are offered for three weeks from July 12 - 31, 2009. Visit www.ysp.umd.edu/pr.

CITY YEAR, WASHINGTON DC (Americorps) - Graduating seniors who are not sure what they want to do after high school should consider applying for a paid community service position with City Year, Washington, DC., a group of 17-24 year olds committed to full-time service for ten months in the Washington, DC community. Benefits include: living stipend ($200 per week), health care coverage, free metro pass, and $4,725 educational scholarship. For more info: http://www.cityyear.org/ or email: cmurphy@cityyear.org/dc or call: 202-776-7780, Amanda Seligman. Recruitment open houses will be held once a month at their headquarters: 918 U Street, NW, 2nd floor, Washington, DC 20001.

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BOYCOTT THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS?

Here's something else I received via e-mail from my man who holds it down six nights a week at the 18th Amendment. Yeah I've been posting a lot of stuff that's coming to through e-mail, but I was never down this stadium deal and having a lot of friends in the service industry this hits close to home. I haven't independently verified any of this, so there's my disclaimer. Read more for the scoop.

From an e-mail

If you follow the goings-on at National's Park, then by now you'll know that the Lerners have terminated its contract with Centerplate, the foodservice provider. As of January 31, dozens of good, hardworking people are now out of jobs, and are receiving no severance pay. The new food company, Levy Restaurants, will be the third concessionaire in three years to be brought in for food service.

What you probably don't know, is that Centerplate executives received a letter of termination on December 24,2008, for reasons that the Lerners "Want something different this season". Merry Fucking Christmas, right? The contract was extended until January 31, as events had been booked with Centerplate up to and on the 31. Per the Nationals, all food, equipment and employees had to be off the property by the end of the day. Employees working that day were expected to alternate between servicing the party, packing all supplies,cleaning up the areas used...and be ready to vacate the premises after the day was over; not exactly a realistic expectation is it?

As an added insult, the Nationals are now refusing to pay for all items on the asset inventory taken by Centerplate, of all items that had been purchased at the start of the season to be used for food service. These items are owned by Centerplate and it was agreed upon in the form of a legal document that the inventory would stay behind for use by the next company, and the Nationals would reimburse Centerplate in the form of a check. The amount owed is currently in the area of $2,000,000.

This is quickly becoming known as typical Lerner behavior. They just recently paid backrent for the entire 2008 year on the South Capitol Street stadium, after the District of Columbia threatened to seize the property for non-payment. Their reasons for not paying? The building "was not complete to their satisfaction". Construction crews and contractors worked around the clock to meet the March 29 deadline demanded by the Lerners (how many sides of their mouths do these people want to try and talk out of?), and in the process,did a rush job and cut more than a few corners.

The result is a blatant example of shoddy, haphazard work in the form of a structurally unsound building. Ask anyone who worked this past off season. Pipes bursting one after another, hood vents and heating units malfunctioning, refrigeration units being cut off, resulting in thousands of dollars in spoiled foods, and other problems too numerous to mention. This stadium was paid for by YOUR tax dollars: is it fair that your money was squandered in an attempt to improve the performance of one of the consistently worst teams in the MLBA? NO! Did the team improve after being given a new home? NO!

Have the Lerners paid rent this year so far? NO! Their attitude and behavior is a slap in the face towards not only the hardworking people responsible for the daily operations of National's Park, but also to the everyday taxpayer, and unfortunately to the baseball fans who supported this team from day one and are truly the ones deserving of the new stadium. Hardworking people who are trying to survive are being punished because a bunch of douchebags feel a sense of undeserved entitlement. WAKE UP D.C- THIS CAN'T CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thoughts on Capital Punishment

Here's the problem in the US, we have capital punishment but we kill the wrong people, in the wrong way, for the wrong things.

The Death Penalty is not a deterrent to gang bangin' accidental nihilists or people strung out on meth robbing liquor stores, those dummies are gonna do what they do heedless of the consequences. Naturally, I understand that if your loved one is senselessly killed in a robbery you think whoever did it should be put to death and I have trouble disagreeing with that sentiment. Idiots who kill because it's easier and quicker to pull a trigger rather than spend five minutes tying someone up probably deserve to die for being lazy and stupid.

Then there's the matter of how we go about putting people to death. A lethal injection 10 years after the fact that no one sees? BORING!! When executions go down usually all you ever see is people marching outside the prison talking about how the death penalty is inhumane, blah, blah, fucking blah and precious little talk about the victim and their family. Where is the spouse of the victim or their kids talking about recovering from the emotional and financial scars of having a family member killed? Just once I would like to see the victim's spouse/sibling/parent/child looking the killer right in the eyes as they throw the switch on the electric chair and tell them, "See you in Hell!"

But let's not kid ourselves, we value money more than we do human life in this country. If we didn't we wouldn't give corporations the same rights as people, but with none of the responsibilities or have insurance companies denying people coverage because they aren't a good risk. I'm complicit in all of this, I'm a capitalist that owns a condo with granite counter tops and shiny appliances, but I think we should update our criminal code to reflect what our true values are and make destroying shareholder value a capital offense.

Junkies and career criminals don't worry about the death penalty much, but I suspect that CEOs and other top level corporate execs might act a little more carefully if they knew a date with the executioner could be in the cards if they fuck up badly enough. We could set the bar high too, you have to destroy a billion dollars in shareholder value before a case even gets reviewed by the HillRat Star Chamber ®. If it's an honest mistake; new technology renders the company's primary product irrelevant, bad year for crops causes wild fluctuations in prices, judgment errors, etc.; you're off the hook and you may even be allowed to keep your golden parachute. For the most part that's what I would expect to find judgment errors.

However, in the case of accounting fraud and other kinds of shady shit that's kind of legal but ethically dubious, well that's a whole different story. The very top cut of corporate officers, (CEO, CFO, and COO) who profited from false earnings reports or other fraud or gross negligence that ultimately leads to a corporate meltdown that cost shareholders more than $1B, would become eligible for the death penalty.

Executions would be vastly different too, no sanitized room where you get strapped down to a gurney to meet your maker. I'm talking about sending in MOB Six to their gated communities, where these thieving motherfuckers would be snatched up and killed in front of their families live on pay-per-view. Or maybe we could get all Running Man (the book, not the movie) and see how far one of these coddled jerkoffs gets with a few grand, his wits, and every person in the country calling a tip line to get themselves paid and to see the dude killed live without having to buy the PPV.

Now that's change I can believe in!

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Oscar Talk with MC RoboChrist

MC RoboChrist is a long time friend of mine and an embittered former sports reporter who sold his soul by becoming a PR hack. RoboChrist is also a bit of an obsessive movie geek and every year around this time he spends countless hours watching movies and writing about the Oscar race. His movie reviews and breakdown of the Oscar race are too funny and entertaining for me and the rest of our friends to keep all to ourselves. For the remainder of the "awards season" I'll be posting lightly edited versions of RoboChrist's various rants about the movies. When I say lightly edited, that means I'll be removing people's names and maybe adding a hyperlink or two when applicable. -HR

Taken from an e-mail by MC RoboChrist

The dance may be a tradition, but most Indian movies I've seen are comedies or musicals, so it fits. This time it was out of place. In a movie [Slumdog Millionaire, ed.] that contains scenes SPOILER ALERT in which a little boy's eyes are boiled out of his head with hot oil, numerous characters meet grisly ends, and a gorgeous woman is disfigured, the happy dance was as appropriate as making Schindler's List a musical.

This movie will win Best Pic, and a lot more Oscars. It is very good, but I don't think it is a classic. It's great for international cinema that a non-Hollywood/London film is going to win, but I think that's one of the reasons it will win (voters love to write the news story) -- along with the fact that the other four contenders aren't classics either. As I said, Slumdog comes close - it is very well-shot, well-acted and well-written - but it didn't grab me as much it has grabbed others.

Saw Milk last night. Three stars, mainly due to Sean Penn's chameleon act as doomed SF Supe/gay activist Harvey Milk. Penn may a tremendous asshole, but he continues to improve as an actor. It's really hard to name five actors as consistently good as him on the planet. Seymour Hoffman, Downey Jr., Clint, O'Toole ... that might be it. And unlike Clint and O'Toole, you always forget it's Sean Penn. That's how good he is. He might snatch the Oscar from Mickey Rourke, which would be fine by me b/c the weeks-long steroids/drug/alcohol rage that would elicit from Rourke would be better than any 'I've been to the edge' acceptance speech Rourke would give. Plus, Penn is bound to put the unnecessary Hollywood fuck-you coda on the Bush presidency in his speech, and I don't think the voters can resist that.

Others I've seen:

Changeling - *** - Okay, so I've got wood for Clint (director here) - long-established fact. But take my word, this is a good movie. It is not a classic along the lines of Mystic River, Unforgiven or Million-Dollar Baby. But it's very well done. Angelina Jolie plays the real-life mom facing the dual horror of a kidnapped child and a corrupt police force (LA) trying to pawn off ANOTHER kid to her as a replacement so they can close the case and get good PR. Like Mr. Penn, Jolie's a cunt in real life. But she can act - and Clint once again proves he can get the best out of cunts (Penn, Jolie, Robbins, Streep). And as is typical of late-model Clint films, it's well shot, the casting is perfect, it's a got a nice score, and it moves along well. No dead parts.

In Bruges - ***1/2 - This is my new favorite film of the year. It's a farce about low-end London thugs hiding out in a Belgian tourist trap that includes some of the best dialogue I've seen on film outside of a Coen Bros. movie in ages,and a script that is worth a second view. Watch the film VERY closely. British humor rules. And while Colin Farrell (who won a Golden Globe for this role) and Brendan Gleeson are great, Ralph Fiennes steals the movie in the last 30 minutes as their insane boss done wrong. His over-the-top Cockney accent reminds me of Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast (another great performance -- and actually you can add Kingsley and Fiennes to that list of great actors who always deliver in diverse roles.) While billed as a comedy, it's got enough blood and gore to make Mr. Steaks fill his pants -- and a tender side that'll make your date fill a Kleenex or two. Add in midgets, coke and whores and I cannot understand how this film scored just a single nom (Screenplay).

The Reader - *** - Lots of nekkid Katie Dub, which I already said is worth a star on its own. They ugly her up for the movie - plus she ages over time - but it's still a visual feast. Still, the film's a tad long and plodding. Kinda tough to get into a Holocaust picture that doesn't actually take place DURING the Holocaust (but rather in a) post-War Germany and b) a courtroom). And the basic point of the script - that it is less embarrassing to admit you let a pack of Jews burn in a Church than to acknowledge you could not have committed the crime BECAUSE YOU ARE ILLITERATE! seems a bit hard to grasp. Ralph Fiennes shows up again , playing the aged version of Kate's post-War teen-age lover. It's a different and yet still perfectly acted role than the ones he played in In Bruges or The Duchess.

Doubt - **1/2 - There's a very interesting race for Best Actress shaping up between Kate W. and Meryl Streep, who is so fucking mean in this movie you want to jump into the screen and punch her in the crotch. In all of the other major award competitions, Winslet's role was listed as Supporting Actress (and she won everything). For whatever reason, the Academy nominated her for Best Actress. Not only did this DQ her performance in Revolutionary Road (by Academy rules you can only be nominated for one performance per category in the acting races), but it turns what was a slam-dunk win in the Supporting category into a horse race with the best actress ever. Someone's getting fucked here. At any rate, the acting in this movie was great, but the direction blew. It did not translate to the screen. It was just a filmed play. Great acting. Bad direction. Think I wrote about that already. Apparently this guy's only previous feature was Joe vs. the Volcano. Explains a lot. (BTW, with Winslet out of the Supporting category, two actresses in this film - Amy Adams and Viola Davis - could end us an beneficiaries, especially if voters picking Winslet for Best Actress are looking for a way to give Doubt an Oscar. Davis is in two scenes - both with Streep - and holds her own. That alone is worthy of an award. Adams, as the mousy nun/teacher whose vivid imagination sends Streep on a witch hunt, continues her run of great performances by an actress who could be (but isn't) a box-office star if she chose shittier roles.

The Wrestler - **1/2 - This movie hinges entirely on Rourke's so-called resurrection. He is in every scene, so if you don't like him, you won't like the movie. It's got a few other bonuses, including an oft-naked Marisa Tomei (looking GREAT at 44), but this is mostly about Rourke. The fact that he's playing a has-been adds to the life imitating art bullshit that has Hollywood jerking off over him. Rourke is VERY good. The movie is good - again, really nothing else going on besides Rourke's acting and a cool '80s hair metal soundtrack For rasslin' fans, there's plenty of good ol' fashioned blood bouts. Staple guns!

Still on my list:
Rev. Rd.
WALL-E (somehow I missed this despite having three kids)
Happy Go Lucky
Rachel's Getting Married
Frozen River
Gran Torino
Taken
Defiance

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BBQ With the Monkey

So yesterday after seeing Monkeyrotica's tweet I got a direct tweet from NylonThread (aka Mrs. Monkeyrotica) inviting me and the family to a BBQ over at their crib. We (the Monkeys and Rats) had been trying to get together in meatspace since we got back from the Hinterlands and finally our schedules cooperated.

After BabyRat's nap WifeRat said she had to shower and whatnot before she could go anywhere. Once you've been married for a few years you get pretty good at reading the signals your partner is giving you, and this was a clear signal that WifeRat wasn't really that into going. While the wife is very supportive of my blogging, she finds it strange that I have been developing friends and friendships in a strictly online setting.

I'm the social butterfly of the family and the "outside" parent. I'm the one that goes to 90% of the birthday parties with BabyRat, takes her to the park, and (now) sporting events. So it's not unusual for BabyRat and I to attend social engagements and leave the wife at home, which is what we decided to do.

When we arrived at Casa de Monkeyrotica the party was just getting started, we were greeted at the door by NylonThread and introduced to the two couples who were already there chillin'. The little Monkeys (ages 6 and 3) were downstairs watching "Wall-E" and we took BabyRat down to introduce her, but they were in a TV coma in front of a 120" projection setup and BabyRat was doing her shy bit so she came back upstairs with me.

As I suspected, the Monkeys and their friends were my kind of people. The crowd was in equal measures literate and profane, polite and sarcastic, gourmet and gourmand.

For a couple of years I've been stalking Monkeyrotica in the comments section at DCist and knew that we shared a deep appreciation for good food in whatever form it takes. Monkey often tweets about where and what he's eating and/or cooking, so I was really looking forward to sampling his food. Let me tell you son, it was as good as I thought it would be, perhaps better. We gorged ourselves on Monkeyrotica's insanely delicious BBQ offerings of Texas style brisket, North Cacalacky style pulled pork shoulder, and Memphis style ribs. He also hooked up some mustard and turnip greens cooked in chardonnay, charra beans, vinegar slaw, and some mac & cheese that was good, but not as good as mine.

BabyRat and the little Monkeys didn't really start playing until after they got done watching "Spiderman 2." The movie was a little intense for BabyRat and she was up and down out of the basement (more up than down) several times during the course of the movie, but once they started playing dress up it was like they had known each other for years. BabyRat even went so far as to invite the little Monkeys to her birthday party in March.

We had a great time and were sent home with a huge "meat bag" containing all manner of savory delights. I look forward to partying with the Monkeyrotica family soon.

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On Blast: Hill Rat's "On Blast"

A weak concept coupled with poor execution equals lameness.

As I stated at the outset, this idea for a weekly "column" was an experiment and one that I'm not sure I'm going to continue. Limiting myself to spewing bile only once a week hasn't worked out the way I thought it would. I'm not that great at jotting down an idea and saving it for later so, even though I've had some good ideas for this column, by the time I get around to sitting down to write those great ideas have often left my brain. I'm also not digging the idea that I need to sit down and find something to be pissed off about every Thursday. I spend enough of my life annoyed as it is, I don't need to dedicate a day to it every week.

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More on Ludlow-Taylor

After my last blog post on Ludlow-Taylor ES I had a commenter say: "You've been hood-winked at a dog-and-pony-show. The school was/is in a panic over this blog."

Aww, you're making me blush. I have to admit, the idea that I've got them scrambling over at Ludlow-Taylor is a huge boost to my ego but I'm not sure that's the case. I'm a skeptic and cynic by nature and, given the short time lag between the two events, I have a hard time believing that the open house last week was in any way related to my blog post about LTES. Maybe knowing that someone out there was paying attention made the folks at LTES up the level of spit & polish (handouts were on colored paper and snacks were served) on the evening, but I doubt they went out and compiled achievement stats just for my benefit.

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Sporting Debut

It's Saturday morning, BabyRat is having her second piece of fruit, the Backyardigans are on the TV, WifeRat is making oatmeal, and in two and a half hours my daughter will participate in her first (kind of) organized sporting event.

Earlier this week I signed BabyRat up for soccer. After getting a new rugby ball and calendar of the U.S. Women's Rugby 7's team last week, BR was all hyped up to play rugby. I had to explain to her that there was no rugby for kids her age (6 is the cutoff) in this area and asked if she wanted to play soccer. I got a very enthusiastic positive response from BR and so the next day I signed her up online.

I think I'm just as excited as she is.

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Ludlow_Taylor Revisited

I have to say, I wasn't expecting much from this open house at Ludlow-Taylor Elementary School last night. I'm already on record with a strong opinion of both the school and its principal. I got a link to that post from DCist that spiked my hits up to an all time high of 125 in one day! I found that out through the magic of Google Analytics.

I was definitely much less than complimentary in my post and I stand by what I wrote. However as I continue to write about my experiences with finding a public school for my child I find that I'm, thinking of myself and, acting as a citizen-journalist. Which leads me to wonder if claiming that title for myself obligates me in any way? I believe that it does, so here's what I owe you: the truth.

The truth is that I'm not a journalist, I've never taken a journalism class, or wrote for the school newspaper or anything like it. I have no idea what the basic tenets of journalism are supposed to be, I know there's some bullshit myth about objectivity but I can't even pretend I'm giving an unbiased view. Nevertheless, here I am gathering intel and disseminating it to all who care to look.

I'm a Dad who's trying to ensure that his child gets the best education possible, I want everything and then some for my kid. If I don't have to spend $25K every year on tuition for a three year old then our family is free do things like give more to charity, travel, and save for college . . . when I expected to have to pay for school.

But my stake in this is not just financial, it's about what kind of world do I want to leave for my child? Not to get too dramatic, but the decision to forgo public school for the time being was one that I made with great sadness. I always went to public schools (including both colleges, state schools) and I take some pride in the fact that I represent public schools well. MommaRat is a proud graduate of DCPS and I hoped that her namesake (BabyRat and MommaRat share a middle name) would be the same. I know far too many brilliant, educated, accomplished people who went to DCPS, and just as many stunningly average folks who went to "elite" private schools, to believe that there is no value to be found in a DCPS education.

I believe in public schools and want to do what I can to ensure that they remain a viable and venerated part of American life. I'm grateful that I have options, but it doesn't change the fact that I know I'm part of the problem with public education because rather than staying and fighting I'm just throwing money at the problem to make it go away for me and my family. It's not that I'm not willing to work towards better public schools, but for right now (the next 8-9 months) this isn't a fight worth having. I've decided that discretion is the better part of valor and retreated to a Montessori school while we continue to gather information, prepare for the school lotteries for the 2009-2010 school year, and reload for the next battle in the war to educate my child.

So with all that said, my prejudices and motivations laid bare for all to see, I continue my story.

Word 'round the campfire was that Principal Cobbs wasn't really into doing a, "dog and pony show" at this open house. Which makes what happened all the more surprising. I arrived at the evening open house about 15 minutes after it started due to hellacious crosstown traffic on my way home. There were only about a half dozen other parents there, the two men that were there introduced themselves and we started not too long after that. Some of the other people there seemed to know each other (I recognized several members of the group Friends of Ludlow-Tayor) and I sat down at a table by myself when the presentation began.

Principal Cobbs started by going around the room and having each person there introduce themselves. I was surprised that she remembered my daughter's name when my turn to speak came. Ms. Cobbs launched into a detailed introduction of herself, talking about her background in education, her family, and the fact that she recently lost her father.

As someone who also recently lost his own father, my heart immediately went out to her and I began to wonder if I had rushed to a hasty misjudgment. I've been lucky enough to be able to keep my bad days and grief-stricken moments out of public view, but the principal of an elementary school isn't necessarily that lucky. Perhaps when Swiss Family Rat bum rushed LTES the day Christmas vacation ended, she was at the beginning of a bad day.

When she first got up in front of the group Principal Cobbs was hesitant and used a lot of verbal pauses when she spoke. But as she continued to speak, Principal Cobbs got more comfortable and started speaking with more poise and taking command of the room as she spoke about the professional development room that we were sitting in.

The difference between the seemingly indifferent administrative drone I met three weeks ago and the enthusiastic, dynamic educator presenting an optimistic and challenging vision for LTES couldn't have been more stunning to me. Moving smoothly through a PowerPoint presentation Principal Cobbs was charming and friendly while she laid out her educational philosophy.

LTES is only at about 50% of the capacity of the building, so there is a constant drive to improve enrollment numbers. The previous principal of LTES, Dr. Presswood, had a Phd in Special Education so he had increased the number of special education students to keep numbers up. Now it seems that Chancellor Rhee and Principal Cobbs have decided to move their focus away from special education and are concentrating on attracting more families in the neighborhood. During this time Principal Cobbs spoke with a rarely heard candor about the demographic makeup of the school and the issue of diversity.

While all this was going on I started looking through the materials that were laid out around the room. There were teacher bios, feedback forms, daily schedule breakdowns, detailed information on the 3-4 classroom and after school program, and e-mail addresses for the principal and the 3-4 classroom teacher. This was exactly the information that we had been looking for a month ago before we got back to DC!!

Now I'm totally fucking confused. On one hand I'm pleased to see that LTES isn't the black hole of confusion and apathy that it appeared to be during our initial interactions. OTOH I'm annoyed that basically everything I was previously asking for was obviously available in electronic form and could have easily been sent to me via e-mail in, literally, one minute. I don't know who's fault that is, but it's easily fixed; put all these docs in a zip file and as soon as a parent calls up, get their e-mail address, send them the file, and follow up with them via e-mail a week later. If the person doesn't have e-mail access take their address and send them hard copies. Is that so hard?

By now Principal Cobbs has made it through her initial spiel telling us about the tour of the school that's to come and yields the floor to the after school care coordinator and dashes out of the room to go deal with a lost kid. I was pleased to learn that there is a dedicated after school care teacher who hasn't been teaching all day. Ms. Harte (after school care coordinator) was energetic and said all the right things about not wanting after school care to just be babysitting. It was right in the middle of her presentation that I had to leave to go get BabyRat from her after care program.

The strong showing by Principal Cobbs and her staff at the little slice of the open house that I attended has confused the issue of where should BabyRat go to school more than ever. The school lotteries and shit start in like another week, so check back and I'll keep you posted on what I'm doing and where you may be able to find information you may need.

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MLK/Inaugural Excitement In My Hood

I spent large portions of Saturday and Sunday with my Mom, doing stuff that my late Father would have otherwise been doing. Assembling bed frames, driving her to the commissary, and hauling stuff to and from the storage area in their (her?) building. Saturday I took BabyRat with me to Mom's condo in Alexandria and gave WifeRat a much needed few hours at home alone and yesterday I went by myself. During all this driving around I was stunned to notice that traffic wasn't nearly as bad as usual. Even coming home over the 14th St. Bridge at about 1600hrs yesterday with the 14th St. and Maine Ave exits closed, the only reason there was a slight backup was the usual problem of idiots not knowing how to drive and getting into a fender bender. We have to go back to Mom's again today for dinner again tonight but, based on the last two days, I'm confident that we won't have any major problems driving in or out.

Because I've been busy with Mom, I haven't gone to any inauguration events. WifeRat somehow didn't know about the concert at the Lincoln Memorial yesterday and I had no interest in going. As it turns out the inauguration came to us this morning.

On our way to Sidamo this morning, we saw some cops blocking off a section of F St. NE between 10th and 11th streets. When we asked the DCPD officer what was up she told us that there was "a situation" and we should go about our business. I thought her answer was a little strange because there was a big ass satellite truck parked right behind the Sasha Bruce Center, but we went about our business. On our way home we found out what the "situation" was: President-elect Obama was doing some volunteer work at the SBY Shelter. We stood around for about five minutes before Obama came out and the crowd of about 200 people broke into chants of "Yes we can, yes we can."

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On Blast: Dog Owners Who Don't Clean Up

What kind of selfish, inconsiderate human being would leave their dog's shit around for you to step in? A big part of the reason I don't have a dog is that I don't want to deal with dog shit; cleaning it up, throwing it away, or even thinking about it.

As you may already suspect, this post is about one specific dog owner. It's a guy that lives in my building who owns a 130+ pound Rottweiler, this dog eats large amounts of food and takes large dumps all over the decent sized back yard of our building. This dog owner, along with his wife, swear that they clean up all of their dog's shit and that any dog shit I see in the yard must have been left by some other dog owner.

Now this claim of theirs isn't entirely without merit. We have a yard that's five yards deep and runs the length of the building (which is about thirty yards long) and is fenced in along the back side. Over the years I've definitely caught some people running their dogs in our yard and one morning a few years back some asshole's dog jumped up on me with muddy paws onto a clean white shirt when I was leaving for work one day. Which means that it's not entirely implausible that at least some of the errant dog shit in my yard comes from some other inconsiderate dickhead's dog. Problem is that a 130+ pound dog takes uniquely huge dumps and most of the "unclaimed freight" in our yard is of the large variety. So unless a half dozen different Rottweiler owners are letting their dogs poop in my yard, I feel pretty safe saying this sloppy moron (and his equally dopey old lady) is falling down on the job.

His sloth and immaturity comes at the expense of everyone else in our building who can't use their back yard because it's a dog shit mine field. Yeah sure sometimes this lazy douche will thoroughly clean the yard before a Summer holiday weekend, but only because he doesn't wanna step in his dog's crap either. We have a unique situation that, aside from individuals in the building constantly hassling this creep, renders us unable to effectively sanction this guy short of going thermonuclear and throwing him out of the building. That may well happen anyway, but not because of the dog shit but because this guys handles everything like he handles his dog: poorly.

Type rest of the post here

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Ludlow-Taylor Open House, 1/21/2009, 9:00 am

Title: Ludlow-Taylor Open House

Date: Wednesday January 21, 2009

Time: 9:00 am - 11:00 am

Location: Ludlow-Taylor

Notes: Meet Ludlow-Taylor teachers and staff, see school facilities
(like the renovated library), visit classrooms, and learn more about Ludlow-Taylor's programs. Come hear about the good things already underway and the school's plans for the future.

The school will also be open for prospective parents from 4:30 - 6:00 on the 21st.

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Well Dressed Burrito

All last week I was getting the royal treatment with WifeRat and BabyRat chauffeuring me back and forth to work each day. Today WifeRat is back at work, BabyRat started at a new school, and I went back to being one of those people who live and work in the city but drives anyway. It's not really my fault though, I had to drop off the palette of supplies (two changes of clothing, backpack, bedroll, etc.) you have to have for a three year-old starting at a new school and drop off time at this new place is later too.

Even with all of that, the real reason I drive is that I get reimbursed for my parking by Death Star, Inc. It's a very minor perq (really the only one that I get) but it does allow me to easily jet out to handle errands at lunch and indulge my passion for treating myself to great lunches. Lunch time during the work day is one of the few moments where I actually get to seriously consider what it is I want to do. Sometimes I "have to" go eat with my boss or co-workers but more often than not, I get do what I wanna do for lunch.

So today I took the opportunity to go to "The Well Dressed Burrito." A lot has been written about the place, but I had to go see for myself what the hub-bub was about.

Not having any meaningful connection to Mexican or Tex-Mex food past in-laws that live in Houston, I don't have any strong feelings about burritos (or tacos) or what they should or should not include. I have heard foodie types decry the blasphemy of Taco Bell tacos, calling them inauthentic and anglicized. I happen to love Taco Bell tacos, they're what I think of when some one says "taco"; hard shell, ground beef, cheese, and lettuce. So if you're some sort of burrito purist you should probably stop reading now. My requirements for Mexican or Tex-Mex are simple; flavorful ingredients and a bit of spice, a pretty low hurdle to clear.

Today's special burrito was Chicken Tenders with Cilantro Vinaigrette, Red Onions, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheese and Rice. The vinaigrette provided a nice bit of tang to the proceedings that was complimented by the sweetness of the red onions. The chicken tenders were large and properly cooked, you could easily bite through one without turning your burrito into a sloppy mess. Overall I would say that it was a tasty and unusually flavored burrito, pretty good but nothing that's going to inspire the kind of endless love that I have for places like Deli City or Mangialardo's.

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On Blast: Ludlow-Taylor ES

I'm experimenting with a new, regular column called "On Blast." This will be a weekly rant column published on Thursdays where I go off about some person, place, or thing that has angered me over the last week and put them on blast. Be warned, there will lots of profanity and wishes for the painful and complete annihilation of the object of my ire. The hope is that this will keep the invective out my regular blog posts.

As regular readers of this blog know, since about this time last year WifeRat and I have been trying to figure out where to send BabyRat to school. During this time I have attended various open houses, community meetings, and PTA Meetings in an attempt to find a scholastic home for our daughter.

Rather than apply to a school and potentially take a spot from a student who would be in school for the entire 2008-2009 school year, our search for a school was temporarily placed on hold while we were on our six month trip to the Fargo-Moorhead area. We were lucky enough to find a wonderful Montessori school in Moorhead that BabyRat attended for the six months we were out of town.

Ever mindful of the clusterfuck that is DCPS, rather than calling some sort of central administration office, we started calling Ludlow-Taylor ES (LTES) early in the month of December to get some more information about the 3 year-old program available at the school and to find out exactly what needed to be done to enroll BabyRat. A conservative estimate is that we called the principal of LTES a dozen times over the course of a few weeks and were unable to ever get her on the phone. We tried calling first thing in the morning, at lunch time, and after the school day was over to no avail. We left messages over and over again, we asked the people who did answer the phone when was the best time to call and followed their suggestions but couldn't ever get the elusive Principal Cobbs on the phone.

I have numerous friends who are or were public school teachers in a variety of locales around the country, so I understand that the very nature of an elementary school is that it is a hectic place with a never ending stream of small fires that have to be put out. Every teacher and administrator's focus should be on the students within the school walls, perhaps to the exclusion of all other concerns. But am I expecting too much to think that some time over the course of the month that a principal can find ten minutes to return one of a dozen messages left for them?

I honestly wasn't expecting much and would have been satisfied if Principal Cobbs (or one of her staff members) had simply called back to say that they would prefer that we came in and talked face to face. I could have lived with it if someone from the school directed us to a website or other resource where we could find all the necessary forms and information we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS. Instead we got a whole bunch of nothing except for one conversation I had with the Kindergarten Special Ed teacher who gave me a brief outline of what the 3-4 year old class does over the course of the day.

This past Friday we stopped by LTES to see if anyone was around and did find the school's business manager hard at work. When I introduced myself, the business manager immediately recognized my name and informed me that my messages had been getting passed on to Principal Cobbs. The business manager was very helpful and was able to track down and give us copies of all the forms we needed to enroll BabyRat in DCPS.

My first question is, given the enormous administrative overhead of DCPS as a system and the individual school at LTES, why isn't there a standardized enrollment packet for students entering DCPS? All of the forms are actually available online, but the enrollment checklist on the DCPS website makes no mention whatsoever of the School Health Requirement Packet!! The mind boggles at such a ludicrous and obvious oversight.

Now we have all the forms we need to get BabyRat into the potential destroying maw of DCPS. WifeRat diligently spends a couple of hours filling out the forms and pawing through boxes trying to find the necessary records over the weekend. We head to LTES on Monday morning before the school actually opens to students to see if we can finally get an audience with the oft spoken of, never heard from, Principal Cobbs.

Finally, at long last, we are granted an appearance with the Wizard of LTES. Even though I'm a large and loud guy, my basic nature is to avoid confrontation but I'm so incensed about the lack of communication that I immediately ask Principal Cobbs why she never called back. Rather than bothering to introduce herself or apologizing or accepting any kind of responsibility for a missed connection, Principal Cobbs gave me a pallid look and says that she's never heard my name. I know that I can't afford to piss off the Principal (in the first five minutes we meet) at a school my kid is attending, so I have to let the shit go. I move to the business at hand and quickly lay out our situation and ask if we can observe the 3-4 year old classroom.

Observing the 3-4 year old class was the highlight of our visit to LTES. The teacher, Ms. Johnson, was energetic, enthusiastic, and engaged with her students. The kids started off the day with "circle time" (something they also do at Montessori schools) and BabyRat was allowed to participate. Ms. Johnson displayed the kind of poise and kindness that you want to see in an early childhood educator; she was firm and warm, inviting but in control, all at the same time. While we were in the classroom, we had occasion to speak to the Mother of a new student who had pulled her kid out of a charter school in favor of LTES.

Eventually we decided that we had seen enough and left the classroom to talk to the school nurse about what, if any problems, there were with BabyRat's health records. We get the runaround from the nurse about exactly what we have to do before BabyRat can start school (there's s dental requirements that the school principal has some discretion on) and go back to the office to wait for Principal Cobbs to show up again.

Before I continue, allow me to recount Principal Cobbs' shameful performance in the school cafeteria in leading the Pledge of Allegiance. It was clear to me that the kids (and the teachers) at the school have little respect or affection for Principal Cobbs. Back in the day (yes, I'm old timing now) when we had our weekly assembly or whatever and the principal stepped in front of the assembled masses, we shut the fuck up without being told. If there ever was a need for the principal to do something to get our attention, not much more than a simple clearing of the throat was needed to render the room silent. Principal Cobbs seemed unable to command even a modicum of order in the cafeteria and simply relied on the PA system to overwhelm the noise in the room while she cajoled a couple of older kids into leading a, not even, half-hearted recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance.

While I was waiting around for Principal Cobbs, BabyRat was in the gym with the class we had just been observing. During that time she had to go to the bathroom and WifeRat reported that they were UNSAT. You would think that after the school had been closed for the last two weeks that the bathrooms would be, if not clean, at least not gross. Realizing that Principal Cobbs wasn't showing up any time soon, we finally left the school. As soon as we were out the door WifeRat told me that she didn't want to send BabyRat to LTES and I agreed.

It wasn't any one thing that was wrong that was a deal breaker, but it was a death by a thousand cuts kind of thing. The accumulation of minor issues demonstrated a lack of attention to detail and a failure of leadership that I attribute to Principal Cobbs. I could go on, but anything I say now would just be gratuitous 'cause you get the point.

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We're Back

Ugh! 1500 miles pulling a trailer is no joke, and the real dagger is that it's sandwiched with loading and unloading said trailer. Still it was a pretty mellow trip back across the country. On the way out to Fargo we took four days to drive out and we did the drive back, along a slightly longer route so we could avoid Chicago and its traffic, in three days with your faithful narrator under the wheel the entire time. The only thing really noteworthy about the trip back was that both nights there was a problem at the hotel.

The first night we stayed at a newly renovated Marriott in Cedar Rapids. When I got to the hotel at 9pm I was pleased; the staff was nice and the pool was open until 11pm. The pool being open late is key because you have to do something to wear out a three year-old that's been sitting in the car and watching "The Bee Movie" all day. I was much less pleased when I turned down the bed to lotion up BabyRat after her bath and there were visible stains on the sheets. Blarrrgh!

Needless to say we changed rooms, but nasty sheets is a violation of the basic agreement between innkeeper and traveler. You expect that shit at an hourly motel off of Rt. 1 somewhere, but not at a Marriott in Iowa. Having seen BigDaddyRat issue verbal beatdowns to hotel desk staffs around the globe, I knew that I would get something if I went down and complained but I wasn't sure what. After consuming a large room service breakfast I went to the front desk and laid out the scenario, they gave many profuse apologies and offered to buy our breakfast. Not being a greedy skinflint, I didn't push my luck and accepted the offer but later regretted letting them off the hook too easily.

The next night we stayed in the thriving metropolis of Dayton, OH at a Holiday Inn that had allegedly won some sort of "qualitly" award according to the guy I talked to on the phone. When I made the reservation I was pretty clear that I wanted to stay at a nice hotel and I was assured that it was. Call me crazy, but when I say a "nice hotel" I think that implies that it's not located next door to a strip club like the one our reservation was at in Dayton. But by the time we get there it's already after 8pm and I don't feel like driving around Dayton looking for a better hotel so we stayed. After BR went to sleep we tried to watch TV but the it wouldn't turn on and they also totally fucked up our breakfast order.

After eating a throughly unsatifying meal, I strolled over to the front desk at check out time and registered my complaints. Fresh off of having punked myself the day before I was determined to cut a better deal for myself this go 'round. So this time I graciously accepted their offer to buy our breakfast, but I continued to press the issue and got 50% off of our room for the night.

Another day on the road and naturally we made it back to Metro DC just in time to get stuck on the fucking Beltway at rush hour trying to get over the Legion Bridge. I spent more time stuck in traffic trying to cross the Legion bridge that day than I did the entire time I was in Fargo, no joke.

Once we made it back to the safe confines of the Rat's Nest on Capitol Hill I soothed myself (and the family) with an application of ribs, chicken, and collards from Kenny's Smoke House. Deliciousness shoots and scores!!

Over the next few days I bamboozled a couple of my teammates into helping me unload our trailer (thanks again Skip and Coach) and mostly concentrated on stuffing myself with as much of DC's local flavor as my stomach could stand. I've been to Sova, Peregrine, and Sidamo for coffee and we've eaten at Sticky Rice, the new Matchbox, and Taylor (twice) since we've been back home.

I am in love with Taylor. There are precious few places to get good sandwiches (Deli City and Mangialardo's) in DC, but they tend to adhere to that weird DC phenomenon of closing at 3pm. Taylor doesn't do breakfast, but they do stay open until 9pm and they deliver. I doubt I will ever have them deliver because they're only about three blocks from the Rat's Nest, hardly seems worth the $2 charge.

Stay tuned for my next post on the EPIC FAIL of Ludlow-Taylor ES.

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Final Fargo Post

Holy shit have the last five days have been hectic! The craziness started on Christmas Eve.

While we're out here we had a blended family Christmas extravaganza. WifeRat's Father remarried after her Mom passed and his wife; my Mother-in-law and BabyRat's Grandmother, better known as Nanna; has two daughters of her own, one of whom lives right here in town named Shania. We actually see Shania and her family a fair bit, Shania's husband Craig was instrumental in pig cooking that went down at the lake this Summer and Shania's daughter Madison had swimming lessons with BabyRat at the Dragon Swim School while we were here. Nanna also has another daughter, Helen, who lives in Grand Forks with her boyfriend and they made the scene for Christmas Eve as well.

In deference to Craig who is Catholic (Shania is converting to Catholicism and Madison goes to Catholic school too), we all attended Christmas Eve Mass. After Mass it was back to Nanna's for a Christmas Eve appetizer buffet that included enough food to feed triple the number of people that were there. Once everyone had eaten themselves stupid and had a drink or two it was time to open presents.

Now this opening presents on Christmas Eve thing is new to me. I had heard of people who did it, but in the family I was born into all gift opening happened on Christmas Day.

WifeRat had always maintained that my family was ridiculous with presents on Christmas and it's true, the gift giving is excessive. My sister and I have both been working professionals for over ten years, but my folks continuously found ways to lavish insane amounts of gifts on us and years when SisRat and I have been flush we have gone all out too. So imagine my surprise when as Christmas approached, you could hardly walk in the living room of my in-laws house 'cause there were gifts everywhere. Naturally, just like every year at my folk's house, we had a four hour plus Bataan Death March of gift opening that ended after 11pm.

Christmas Day the temperature got up to about 20 degrees which allowed us to finally take advantage of all the snow we've had this month and go sledding at a little park near Nanna's house. Yes, 20 degrees felt positively balmy after a brutal cold snap where the high temperature over about three weeks was 10 degrees Fahrenheit. BabyRat took such a long nap that we had to wake her up so we could go have a Christmas Dinner of prime rib.

While most people were lolling around the house in sweat pants the day after Christmas, playing their new video games or whatever, WifeRat and I were hard at work packing up our apartment so we can head back to DC.

This morning BabyRat and I had a little breakfast date so the Wife could continue packing in peace and then when we got home it was decided that BabyRat and I would go to Dike West for more sledding fun. I love sledding and the conditions were perfect for BabyRat and I to go careening down the hill on our gigantic inner tube. BabyRat also had an epic wipeout when we hit a jump that popped her off the inner tube when we hit the ground and knocked off one of her boots and a sock.

Then things started sucking as I spent a good portion of the rest of the day loading a trailer full of crap. WifeRat worked like a stallion packing and cleaning while I was hauling today. We took a break to go to Paradiso for dinner with the in-laws and Shania & Craig but, after putting BabyRat to bed, it was go time until I finished cleaning the bathrooms and started writing this post.

Tomorrow we hit the road and expect to be back in DC on Tuesday. Sticky Rice here I come!!!!!!!!

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Can't Stop Talking About . . .

. . . the weather. We're supposed to be heading back to DC on Saturday, so hopefully this will be my last post about the insane weather in Fargo.

This past weekend we had to go up North for an early Christmas with the Aunts and to drop off all the furniture and household goods that we had mooched off of them for our stay here. This meant getting a trailer to haul the shit up there and getting said trailer loaded. Thankfully the Weinercats Pack Captain, Double-D, was good enough to get up at 8am on a Saturday morning to help out his ol' coach with loading up the trailer. For reasons I can't understand WifeRat refused call Double-D by his nickname and insisted I tell her his real name; I had to think long and hard about it because I had only seen it written down once and I had *never* heard anyone call him by his real name.

When Dubs got to the Dilworth crib at 9 it was already snowing and he said they were calling for 3-5 inches on the day. No matter, we had a nice heated garage to pull the RatWagon and trailer into while we were loading up. It took the two of us (actually three, cause BabyRat was taking down couch cushions and such, she's so cute!) about 90 minutes to haul all of our furniture down to the trailer and get it loaded in. After we finished we had a celebratory PBR at 10:30am and I gave Dubs one of my old West Pot PourHouse jerseys and $30 ($10 for some breakfast and $20 for a case beer seemed like a fair amount) for his help.

I back the trailer out of the garage without incident and decide to take a spin around the block to see how the RatWagon and trailer are handling in the snow. I make it about two blocks before I get mildly stuck trying to pull onto the main road through town. Shit, fuck, damn! For the first time in a month I have left the house without a coat or gloves and now I'm stuck in the snow pulling a trailer. I jump out to survey the situation and it wasn't as dire as it felt from the driver's seat, so I get back in and manage power my way out. I make it back home and announce that we're not going anywhere.

While I was gone both my Aunt that we were supposed to go see and my Father-in-law had called and said the roads were too bad to travel on with a trailer. So we hunkered down and prepared to spend another day at home, but lo and behold right after the decision was made to wait until the next day it stopped snowing. Fast forward to about 3pm and we decide that maybe we can make it. Phone calls are made and the final bit of stuff gets packed in the trailer, I go out for another test run and get stuck again. Like I told WifeRat, if we get in wreck or end up in ditch or something fucked up happens no one is going to say, "I can't believe that woman took her husband and family on the road in this shit." No, what's going to be said is, "What kind of man takes his family on the road in this? What a fucking idiot!"

The next day everything was fine and we made it up to Grafton with minimal hassle and made it back yesterday. Again the snow is falling today, it looks like it's tapering off and we got about 3 inches but unlike the last week or so the temperature is actually warm enough (a balmy 15 degrees) that we're going to make an attempt to go sledding when BabyRat gets up from her nap.

I'm also concerned that our spot is going to get blown up when we're trying to leave town this weekend. Looks like there is a chance for snow on Friday night and continuing on until Saturday morning, which would not be good for me and my front-wheel drive "truck."

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